Attention Dr. Watson!

[rgirl181]

<em>Edited to add "Mystery Solved"--see next post</em>
The clues to the mystery of
Rgirl MBPBSMIEDB
Are mostly, Dr. Watson, epistolary
True the last trio was not included
But it means a way by which Rgirl is saluted
Indeed the name is a favorite of those on a forum deluded
Into thinking her posts, like Mrs. Scarface's womb, are polluted
But the first magic seven you have seen in a hail
Of descriptions of Rgirl via electronic mail
The meaning of which you will solve without fail
But in solving the crime of what each letter means
I assure you it adds up to no more than beans
And as I am sure you will deduce
Come from the same source beans eaten produce
So solve away, Watson, solve away ho!
But, soft, reveal these deep meanings to only those who need know

Rgirl

[rgirl181]

<div style="text-align:center">So far
In the history of the world
Vincent van Gogh and Eric Clapton got the same birthday.
Flannery O'Connor and Lenny Bruce got the same deathday.
On the day Goethe died in 1832, Groucho Marx was born in 1891.
Jack Kerouac was born on the day the Girl Scouts was formed.
Henrik Ibsen and Ozzie Nelson were born on the Vernal Equinox.
Nothing else happened on the day Uranus was discovered.
On the day Elvis died, Charles Bukowski celebrated his 57th birthday.
Twenty-three years after Tennessee Williams was born,The Popeye Statue
was unveiled at the Spnach Festival in Crystal City, Texas. When Michelle Kwan won
her fifth World Championship in Ladies Singles Figure Skating, a math professor in Michigan breathed again for the first time in five days. Shortly after the 2003
World Figure Skating Championships, Rgirl discovered the Unified Theory
of the Universe, expressed as MBPBSMI/EDB. That is, the
Unified Theory of the GS Figure Skating Universe.
I would say things have worked out
pretty well in the world.
So far.</div>

<div style="text-align:center">Rgirl,
Monstrously Bawdy Painfully Beelzebubian Statistical Miss Instructor and Endlessly Divergent Babbler</div>

[Mathman3]

OK
how did you
do that?

[Mathman3]

........................OK.......................
.................How did you..................
....................do that?....................

[Mathman3]

OK
How did you
do that?

[Mathman3]

<div style="text-align:center">Aha
Like that.
I see.
Very clever.
What else do you know how to do?</div>

[mathman444]

The day that Uranus was discovered, March 13, 1781, was the birthday of the famous painter and architect Friedrich Schinkel, in Brandenberg.

[Freddy the Pig 2]

To the tune of "Tomorrow Comes" from Les Miz.

.....Oh.....
<strong>M</strong>ichelle, Michelle, Michelle,
<strong>B</strong>aby you cast a demon spell,
<strong>P</strong>ity this humble swine who swears you're fine
<strong>B</strong>y ev'ry oath in hell.

<strong>S</strong>o to you I sing this song,
<strong>M</strong>aybe I've got the meter wrong,
<strong>I</strong>'m just a pig, a pig who can't get enough of Kwan!

from Freddy, Rgirl's <strong>M</strong>acho-<strong>B</strong>ad <strong>P</strong>ig-<strong>B</strong>oy, <strong>S</strong> & <strong>M</strong> <strong>I</strong>nstructor and <strong>E</strong>xtra-<strong>D</strong>uty <strong>B</strong>oar

[rgirl181]

<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>What else do you know how to do?[/quote]
"What Else Do You Know How To Do?"
For that, LJB,
You will have to ask Freddy,
He never says, "Maybe,"
Just, "Baby! I'm ready!"

"GS Triplet"
There once was a girl from GS
Who would make such a terrible mess
If she mentioned Michelle
She was cast off to hell
In her role as Devil in a blue dress


There once was a girl named Rgirl
Who caused many posters to hurl
With her posts oh so long
As if penned by King's kong
Though her wit was the size of a squirrel's


There once was a poster so surly
She was known on GS as Rgirly
What she thought were jokes
Some folks took as pokes
In the place where they sat and went twirly


"Fredth Meets Death and Rgirl Steals from Emily"
As I stepped aside for Fredth
Fredth kindly stepped aside as he
Said, Yo, b****! Where you think you be!
You almost jammed yo' hoof in me!


"Michelle and Freddy Have a Chat"
Fredth is a Dialogue between
The Skater and Skate
"Jump" says Fredth--The Skater "Sir
I have another mate"--

Fredth doubts it--Argues from the ice
The Skater turns away
Gaining speed at such a rate
So rare for blades made out of nice


"Downtown"
I could tell you more lore
But snore what a bore
With Freddy around
We have plenty of clown
And lots of amore
With skaters galore
The boar sure is a hound
And loves to go down
On the bus to downtown
Where hot skaters are found
In abundance you see
For just Freddy and me
Just Freddy and me

R

[mathman444]

"Fredth is a Dialogue?" I don't get it?

Mathman

[Freddy the Pig 2]

Let me help. The 'core of Rgirl's poem is the question, "What is the Skater fleeing from?" Is she afraid of the Jumpmaster?

Or does she fear the Fredth within her own pure soul?

Freddy

[mathman444]

??? Well, anyway, Rgirl's poems are very disturbing. They don't have a uniform rhyme scheme and instead are sprinkled with intriguing internal half-rhymes. And their metre changes unexpectedly -- they are hard to sing along to, as to a television jingle.

I will show you how to write a good poem.

Mathman and the Skater -- A Dialogue

She skates away on blades of nice
With apple blossoms in her hair;
She's dropped a glove upon the ice!
Her sweetness lingers in the air.

See? Like that.

Mathman

[Freddy the Pig 2]

Mathman and the Skater -- Two Monologues

She skates away on blades of nice
With apple blossoms in her hair.
She's dropped a glove!
His hand remains.

[rgirl181]

Mathman, you call a limerick a "complex rhyme scheme"? Guys make these up in bars.


"For Mathman"
There once was a Man name of Math
Who was in league with the Wife of Bath
Said he, when it comes to Michelle
Things for me really gel
But instead I'll take your Chaucerian wrath


Pretty lame, I admit, but I'm making this up in a bar. If I were you, I'd study with Freddy. Freddy's phat
Rgirl

[mathman444]

I always thought that a true Limerick had to have the word "Nantucket" in it.

I tried to make one for you and Ilia Kulik, but the only thing that rhymes with Kulik is "makes her goo leak, and she carried it home in a bucket." (And Curly says, let's just nyuk, nyuk it.)

Now I am trying to understand yours. Here is what I found out about the Wife of Bath:

"In Arthur's day, before the friars drove away the fairies, a lusty bachelor of the king's court raped a young maiden. He is taken and condemned to die (such was the custom then) but the king, in deference to Queen Guenevere's pleas, allows the ladies to judge him. They tell him he can save his life only if a year and a day later he can tell them what it is that women most desire. He wanders long without finding the answer; he is about to return disconsolate when he comes upon an old and remarkably ugly woman. She says that if he swears to do whatever she will next ask him, she will tell him the answer. He agrees and returns with the answer: women most desire to have sovereignty over their husbands. Guenevere and her ladies are amazed; they grant him his life. The old woman then makes her demand: that he marry her. She will accept no less. On their wedding night; he turns away from her. She asks him what is the matter. He answers that she is old and ugly and low born. The old woman demonstrates to him that none of these matter -- especially noble birth, since true gentilesse depends on deeds rather than birth. She offers him the choice: he can have her old and ugly and faithful or young, beautiful, and possibly unchaste. He tells her to choose; he grants her the sovereignty. When he does so she turns into a beautiful maiden, and they live thereafter in perfect joy."

So this where Freddy goes wrong. Give your lady the sovereignty, Fredth, and you will live thereafter in perfect joy.

Mathman, secure in his knowledge of "what women most desire"