Word Usage for Mathman | Golden Skate

Word Usage for Mathman

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rgirl181

Guest
Word Usage for Mathman

Re Mathman in the "Whole Package" thread on "The Edge."

"Laughs at analysis, mocks understanding" is, IMO, better than "impervious to analysis, surpasses understanding" because "laughs" and "mocks" are connected and "laughs at analysis" has a good assonantial punch. Also, "lives in a place in my heart that surpasses understanding"--think about it. Does that place for Michelle really surpass understanding or does the place "go beyond" understanding? Also, the role played by the heart in the laughs and mocks is active, whereas impervious is passive and surpasses is active. Also, laughs and mocks are shorter, punchier words.

Yanking yo chain, MathIce. I loved what you wrote about da total package:cool:
Rgirl
 
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mathman444

Guest
Re: Word Usage for Mathman

Thanks for the creative writing lesson, R.

OK, "surpasses" sucks. How about, "defies analysis, flips the bird to understanding?"

Punchy, that's the ticket. Any sentence that has "mocks" in it is already on the right track. Now if I could just work in "scorn."

"Laughs at analysis, mocks understanding, scorns rationality..." Laughs at, mocks, scorns -- all sort of the same, but getting progressively scornier.

I am writing a letter to Michelle right now. Here's what I've got so far:

Dear Michelle, I laugh at your analysis, mock your understanding and scorn your rationality. Your place in my heart defies my bird.

Mathman
 
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mathman444

Guest
Re: Word Usage for Mathman

Rgirl, wait, hold everything! REBUKES RATIONALITY!!!

Alliteration, PLUS metre.

Escewing false modesty, I have surmounted myself, in like manner as I surpassed the grocery store on the way to the post office this morning.

My love for Michellity
'Bukes rationality,
Nukes neurological
Paths in my brain.

I'm still working on the second verse. The elements I have to work with are "ante," "glimpse," and the last line, "drives me insane," to rhyme with brain.

MathIce

PS. Yeah, I know. It would be better if "path" started with a "b." Everybody's a critic.
 
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rgirl181

Guest
Re: Word Usage for Mathman

"Paths in my brain" is good. Another "b" would be too much alliteration.

As for, "defies analysis, flips the bird to understanding"--should be "flips off understanding." Too many syllables in "flips the bird to." I would like "laughs at analysis, flips off understanding" because it gets progressively meaner.

"'Laughs at analysis, mocks understanding, scorns rationality...' Laughs at, mocks, scorns -- all sort of the same, but getting progressively scornier." I agree, this is your best version. Although, with "Laughs at analysis, mocks understanding, flips off rationality" you get the assonance between "mock," "off," and "-tion-" and between the short "i" in "rationality" and "flips." Plus "laughs, mocks, flips off"--nice progression.

"Dear Michelle, I laugh at your analysis, mock your understanding and scorn your rationality. Your place in my heart defies my bird." I always suspected she did;)
R
 
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rgirl181

Guest
Re: Word Usage for Mathman

But M., is it really worth two in the bush?
 
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