Christians are stupid comment at Christmas party
My friend is a devout Christian and believes everything in the Bible. While at her office Christmas party some of her co-workers kept saying how "stupid Christians are," which really offended her. They also inserted words in to say that they are naive, unwordly and uptight.
How should she have handled this? She said she remained quiet and walked away, but was in tears when by herself.
I think I would have started with how stupid is for non Christians to be celebrating a Christian holiday.
She almost did say that!
It's difficult to know how to handle this. I don't think she should've insulted them back, then she just comes across as petty. Perhaps she could've just gently told them they are stereotyping, which they were.
Also, how long has she worked there? If she's new, it's harder to bring attention like this to yourself. When I had just been at my job for about two months, a co-worker's husband made the statement we should "nuke San Francisco and get rid of all the homosexuals." (guy also claimed to be a devout Christian, btw...) Anyway, I said nothing at the time, but the next year, I let him know, kindly, how much the statement bothered me, and that he might want to re-read certain Bible passages. But I digress.
If it was just a few co-workers, people that she doesn't really care for, I would just say let it go.
Here's what she should do (this falls under the commandment, "do good to those who spitefully use you," MATT 5:44, LOL).
Leave some breath mints and deodorant at the miscreant's desk, with a little note saying, "from your secret Santa."
PS. To me, it is not an insult to be called "unworldly." IMHO you sell yourself short if you allow your spirit to wither while chasing money, fame and all the rest of it.
If they are in management positions, she should speak with someone in HR since they have technically placed her in an uncomfortable position which is a result of a violation of EEOC standards.
Are people aware that she's a devout Christian? I know some Christians that are somewhat 'holier than thou', but my friends are the people who respect my right to practice (or not practice) my chosen religious beliefs. If these co-workers don't know that she's Christian, then they are plain idiots, but did not intend to insult her personally.
I'm sure that some of them will feel bad if they were to become aware of her religious beliefs.
it never ceases to amaze me how people bend over backwards not to offend their Jewish/Wiccan/Muslim/etc co-workers but if it involves Christianity screw it all they're free game.
Personally? I'd have left the party as it's obvious I wasn't wanted, and then I would have complained to their supervisors or the higher ups saying that My religious views were attacked at the Christmas party. If they didn't care, I'd call the Liberty Council. It obviously put emotional turmoil into something that was supposed to be a happy event. No one needs to walk around and scream "I'm Jewish/Muslim/Whatever" without being able to complain, it should also be the same for Christians.
but that's just me, I'm a drama queen lol (to be honest I probably would have gotten into a heated discussion with them that just got me even more upset but that's me lol)
I would of just shook my head and realized how "stupid" people can be when they make comments like that. Your friend should of just ignored them and not of taken it personally. Their comments show you that they are "stupid", "naive", "uptight", & "unworldly".
Somethimes people say things and don't realize what they are saying. If you bring it to their attention they might think twice before speaking.
Wicked Yankee Girl
If she's relatively new to the job, her coworkers may not even know that she is a devout Christian. While their remarks may have been cruel, and totally uncalled for, they may well not have been personally aimed at her. Many people are just not very observant in any case, and may not have registered that she is a Christian, even if she has been there for a while.
And on the other hand, some people are supersensitive, and may have expanded a snide (and therefore not very smart) comment into a total condemnation of Christians. You might ask for exact quotes. You may find that she was hearing some people who are terrifically disgruntled about this silly problem that some Christians are having with people who don't know them wishing them Happy Holidays or Season's Greetings instead of Merry Christmas, in which case the problem is not a condemnation of Christians but only of some Christians (still out of place at a party), but to me totally understandable because I also think it's a silly tempest in a teapot.
My greeting to you is a little gift to you. It is not about me and whether I am Christian. It is about you, and what greeting might make you happiest. If you are a Christian, I would wish you Merry Christmas. However, if I don't know your religion, I would wish you a happy holiday, since even the atheists are having a holiday from work. And frankly, I think that there's a good chance that that's what the Prince of Peace would want me to do.
It is truly amazing what people will say to people they don't know, or in the hearing of people they don't know. The other day, apropos of almost nothing, while I was waiting in a line at a coffee shop, a gentleman in front of me wanted to know why people in CT were more murderous than people in San Francisco. He went off on the subject of knives and so forth. I told him that my dad had been stabbed to death, and it probably was not nice to make jokes about ropes in the house of a hanged man.
People will say anything. Unless there were managers, or were deliberately and directly maligning her, I would just forget it, but make it more clear that I was a Christian so it wouldn't happen again.
Toni, I wish people were nicer. But still, I don't think it is a symmetric situation with respect to the majority culture in contrast with minorities.
Originally Posted by Tonichelle
Most people in the United States, whether they practice any religion or not, have some kind of Christian background. The worst thing a born again Christian will ever have to suffer for his or her religion is an ocassioinal snide remark.
In contrast, when the majority gets it into their heads to pick on minority groups, that's when the danger arises of really bad stuff, like widespead and systematic persecution, mass murder -- that sort of thing.
IMHO bending over backwards is not too great a price to pay.
Mathman, will you marry me?
I avoid avoid avoid mentioning I'm a born again Christian because if I do I get so much crap for it. If someone asks me what religion I am I just say I'm a Christian...because I am. *shrug* People think I'm some Bible thumping crazy who'll randomly start quoting Genesis or something, you know? It's stereotyping to the max. So I just shut up. If someone says Merry Xmas to me, I say it back to 'em. At work I said happy holidays, but if someone said Merry Xmas I said it right back. It's just like: you don't talk about politics or religion! I don't do it on forums either because I also get my head bit off.
Originally Posted by Mathman
I must admit I've never really understood the term "born-again" Christian. I've never heard people of other religions who have found faith in adulthood refer to themselves as as born-again. Does it really matter when faith was found?
Lanie - I feel for you and your friend. Two things I can say:
firstly: I agree with Heyang, if these kinds of comments are repeated in the workplace, your friend should report them to HR. At my job, we used to have problems with a core of good-ole-boys who saw nothing wrong with sharing their views on religion, sexuality, family law, gender issues - you name it. HR worked hard for 2 or 3 years to work on sensivity issues in the work place, and I can say it has really helped. People for the most part feel free to express themselves appropriately while observing decorum to avoid embarrassment; that's not an easy balance.
secondly: Office Christmas - oops - Holiday parties are just the best environment possible to breed derision, boredom, boorish behavior, and disdain in attendees. Just know that you and your friend have been given grace to withstand such trivialities as OFFICE PARTIES! Yikes! I dread them like the flu.
My take: if there is a professional problem in the workplace, she must report that to HR. If its just people being people - stand fast and smile and trust and be at peace if you can. People just act really "small" sometimes.
I don't understand the term "born again" Christian either. It doesn't matter when your faith was found, what matters is that you find it.
Originally Posted by Antilles