For Anyone With Aging Parents

A friend sent this to me because in the last 2 years, myself and 2 other siblings have been taking care of mom. She pleaded with us not to go to the nursing home and so we do all the cooking, shopping, cleaning and laundry. Sometimes it gets difficult but after seeing this I'm just doing for her what she's done for me.

Remembering our Aging Parents

Dee

I don't know how my sister does it she's the one mom lives close to and when ever she needs the doctor or anything she's the one who has to miss work and do everything. I don't have the patience.

Thanks. That was very touching...

My only wish is that the learning never goes, but as I realize sometimes it does. I believe most mothers don't "expect" - but for even the ones that do, love and understanding should always be given.

Made me cry...

It's so hard to know where to draw the line... Luckily my parents are not too old yet, but I am the only granddaughter of 3 rather old grandparents. It's very difficult, especially when it comes to my 85-year old grandfather (we just had a huge banquet for his BD 2 weeks ago, complete with custom-made songs, poems, etc.). Sometimes I pretend like him asking me the same thing a hundred times is normal, but then occasionally he'll catch on and get very upset about being treated like an invalid; so it's important to keep balance. With my grandmothers, I try to let some things go, but not others; when they say or do something that I know to be totally wrong, I try to just say, nicely but firmly (as in not "that's stupid", but as in "no, this is wrong, period."). The most difficult part for me came a year ago, when my grandmother was recovering from over-agressive chemo, and my grandfather just refused to understand the hell she was going through (he tried to have her get up in the morning, not take long naps, eat only during meal times, etc.), which of course made things all the worse for her. At one point my parents were away on vacation, and I actually had to talk to my grandfather about basically being a better spouse. It felt awful! I was very aware of how inappropriate this was - a girl with less than a year marriage experience telling her grandfather what to do; but OTOH, I was aware that the situation as it existed was literally killing my grandmother, so I felt I had to do something (grandma was already spending about half of each week at either my parents' or our place, but even the remaining few days at home were getting too tough). Things slowly got better, but I do dread the day when those same problems will come around again, only with my parents instead of grandparents...

Both my in-laws are more than 90. I think it's a joy to see them every day and a blessing they are still with us. Even if my father in law did take the snowblower out of the garage one day and then asked me to cut the grass.
This is not to say that they don't occasionally drive me nuts. But my much younger mom died last year and when I feel annoyed with The P's, well, I just remember how much I'd still like to see my Mom, even if she did drive me to distraction from time to time.
None of them are ever going to a nursing home. Having worked at many of them in my accounting career I wouldn't send a dog I didn't like to stay there.

Almost made me cry too.