Becoming invisible

[icenut84]

If you want to work out/improve what you look like etc, do it for yourself, not because you want people to look at you. Whatever your age, you should work on your own self-esteem and look good because you want to look good. If you do, and you feel confident in yourself (obviously not to the extent of arrogance), you'll project a kind of aura that will attract people. There's an element of truth in the idea that love comes when you're not looking for it, and the same can be true of attracting people. If someone's walking along the street looking happy and confident, he/she'll probably appear 'more attractive' and garner more appreciative looks than someone who looks the same but doesn't seem confident or happy. How you're perceived is all about how you project yourself as much as your physical looks.

My point - don't let yourself go, but do it for yourself. It may not be the same as when you were young, but it'll be different and hey, you'll have the knowledge and experience and wisdom that they don't have!

[Piel]

Well I turned 52 a few weeks ago and even with health issues I will not give up on the makeup and keeping the roots touched up.......refuse to be gray it's just not me. I consider it all money well spent, all of the lotions and potions. They may not do anything but are fun to play with......I am such a girl LOL, The BEST thing to ward off old age is to have a fabulous new boyfriend. And remember all women look 10 years younger when blushing.

[Jhar55]

Right there with you Piel, I don't wear my make up at home but do when I go to work. As for men being dogs, I know mine is that's why I throw him a bone everyday and he keeps comming back.

[76olympics]

If you lived down South like I always have, you would always be called Maam or Sir whatever your age as long as you were over 20! My father brainwashed me so thoroughly in this regard that I cannot stop doing it even if I try. In a way, it is a blessing because I don't equate the terms with aging.

I am 42 and I have always been "foreign" looking (pick any nationality with olive or tan skin) with unconventional looks to say the least. So, I haven't ever inspired a great deal of attention and so it goes and will go until I am elderly, I guess. I would like to be about 15 lbs thinner for health's sake. I'm of average weight but would like to be smaller.

[Piel]

As for men being dogs, I know mine is that's why I throw him a bone everyday and he keeps comming back.

[RealtorGal]

Icenut's post was brilliant.

Sweetie, I am going to embarrass myself in an effort to help you, especially since we are exactly the same age, and your post broke my heart. Some background: I have had a very difficult year healthwise, couple of surgeries (gallbladder, hysterectomy) etc. I was so panic stricken about my health after the first surgery that I immediately began going to the gym or working out at least 5x a week. Best exercise is the elliptical machine, burns calories like nothing else. Also, weight machines. I go even if I don't feel like going. I switched to whole grains and in general eating better. For treats, I have 2 donut HOLES every morning and a couple of squares of chocolate every evening. I've lost 45-50 lbs. Believe me, a year ago, no one was looking and I didn't care. I hated the way I looked.

I turned myself around NOT because I wanted people to look at me but because I wanted to 1) live a long and healthy life; and 2) set a good example for my daughter (age 12). But you know what? Like it or not, men are looking at me. All the time. It's bizarre. And I have never been pretty, but it's what you feel about yourself that gets exuded. Even my husband is feeling a bit threatened, which is totally ridiculous. But I really don't care who is looking because I feel so much better about myself and my accomplishments this year and hopefully I have added quality years to my life. It's worth everything--even the suffering I've been through this year healthwise.

My daughter is a water rat and I was too embarrassed to go with her to the beach all these years. Now, she surfs, I boogie board and wear a bikini. She told me how proud she is of me. That means more to me than you can imagine.

I want to give you hope, but it has to come from within your heart. You have to look in the mirror every single day and ask yourself "Did I do everything possible today to lead a good and healthy life?" If you can say "yes," you are on your way. You won't say "yes" every day, but that is totally okay.

Now, for the slightly embarrassing part. Here are 2 photos, "Before" from last July and "Today" from a few weeks ago (you can even see all my laparascopic surgery scars!) I have this pinned up on my bulletin board in my home office and I look at it every day for inspiration because every day is still a challenge to keep up the positive work.

By the way, I did NOT have lipo. And I wear a lot less makeup than when I was heavy.

Please keep us posted and I'd be glad to help in any way I can.

Many hugs.

JULY 2005:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...l/7b307aa9.jpg

JUNE 2006:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...l/3070b2a2.jpg

[Mathman]

Whoa!! (Not that there was anything wrong with "before!" )

[RealtorGal]

Whoa!! (Not that there was anything wrong with "before!" )

Honey pie, if you don't think that there was anything wrong with "before," it's time for a visit to your eye doctor!

[Piel]

Dear friend you have ALWAYS been beautiful!!!!! The new body is fabulous and so is that bikini. You are such an inspiration.

[Tonichelle]

If you lived down South like I always have, you would always be called Maam or Sir whatever your age as long as you were over 20! My father brainwashed me so thoroughly in this regard that I cannot stop doing it even if I try. In a way, it is a blessing because I don't equate the terms with aging.

I was raised that way as well, but I am *southern* Baptist and I think that's really where I picked it up as I'm the only kid in my family that does it