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Thread: They Broke My Heart Catharsis Thread

  1. #16
    MY TVC 1 5 SeaniBu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealtorGal
    That is sad. It sounds like your friend didn't exactly PICK coke and booze over friends; rather, he was addicted to those things. Probably the only thing that would have helped is detox, but ARR would have had to WANT to break the addiction first.
    True, he didn't want to. That was the choice he made. 5 of us did the discussion, enrollment, "hold the hand" if you will. Even after he was kept away for weeks flushing the system, at the first chance he went back. I know (I say "know" because he was sneaky) of 4 times. I found a bottle of Vodka in the toilet basin and that was number 4. He chose to lie to use, and chose to find what we together would eliminate, and bring it right back in to his life. He chose to stay addicted.

    Very sad, he was a talented Bass player, and the girls just swooned for him but he ... well I can only say it one way. I went down that path to start with him, I and others chose to stop. He didn't.

  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeaniBu
    True, he didn't want to. That was the choice he made. 5 of us did the discussion, enrollment, "hold the hand" if you will. Even after he was kept away for weeks flushing the system, at the first chance he went back. I know (I say "know" because he was sneaky) of 4 times. I found a bottle of Vodka in the toilet basin and that was number 4. He chose to lie to use, and chose to find what we together would eliminate, and bring it right back in to his life. He chose to stay addicted.

    Very sad, he was a talented Bass player, and the girls just swooned for him but he ... well I can only say it one way. I went down that path to start with him, I and others chose to stop. He didn't.
    That sucks... I'm sorry that happened.

  3. #18
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry about your friend. It's amazing, isn't it, how hurt stays with us for such a long time?

  4. #19
    MY TVC 1 5 SeaniBu's Avatar
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    Man I feel like I have brought everyone down, so on the note that hurt stay sfor so long I would like to say Love does too.

    I haven't seen CK for over 10 years, I haven't talked to her for over 4 at least. And hardly a day goes by where something doesn't remind me of a wonderful love we shared - partly because I am still in the same town we were in together and did a lot of traveling, San Fran always seems to come up in the news at least once a week and she looks so much like Carolina Kostner - yah the initials to.

    She was with someone else (4 times she's tryed ) the last time I talked to her, and I still wish that she finds the right guy. Anyway, that is a love that holds true to the saying, "better to have loved and lost..." because I cherish the fact we did share that love.

    Geez, I feel pretty good now

  5. #20
    MY TVC 1 5 SeaniBu's Avatar
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    BTW, thanks for the compassion! I really appreciate it!

  6. #21
    Matt Savoie~Soul Skater CzarinaAnya's Avatar
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    Umm, Jimmy. Hot Bass player. (Why am I attracted to bass players???) ANyways, he was 19 and shouldn't have even considered "dating" a 14 year old! I forgive him, but I just don't understand.

    Then, there was Geoff. Dated a WHOLE three weeks, lol! But what got me about him was that he dumped me because he met a girl who was sickly(nothing against her, it was his fault), and I think he got the whole Florence Nightingale syndrome. We were teenagers, btw, and had been friends prior. I have no idea what has become of him.

  7. #22
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzarinaAnya
    I have no idea what has become of him.
    That's why Google, Yahoo! and Classmates.com were invented!

  8. #23
    Custom Title Arianne's Avatar
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    Sometimes you just can't get over your first love. I am married now, but I still think about my first love often. Sometimes I will dream about him (not romantically) at night and I think and wonder about him a lot. We dated in high school and in my first year of college. We were wonderful together, but his parents were of the "high class" nature, and I but a country girl. His Dad is the president of a University, and he did not particularly care for me. Actually, even though we dated for a lengthy period, he never once talked to me! I could never respect him as the president of a university. I didn't understand why he was so unkind. I ended up going to this University one year and a half after my first love broke my heart and crushed by spirit. We were both music majors and after he had not talked with me for months, my first class at university was with him! I was engaged to my now husband, and he treated me like the dirt of the earth. I never understood how 2 people could be so close and then pretend like they never even knew each other. I dreaded going to class and passing him in the halls as he looked to the ground and ignored me when I would attempt to say hi. Life was hard then and I'm glad I don't have to be around him anymore. He really dragged my self esteem through the mud. Luckily my husband has built me up, loved me and helped me to feel like a person who is important and worth while. Okay, it does feel good to write about it and just get it out in the Universe, doesn't it? Even though I am married now and pretty much happy, I still don't seem like I've completely healed a shattered heart. Does that sound crazy? Can anyone relate to that? I really feel like I'm not the same person I was before my heart was broken. I can't bring back that same girl I used to be and that is what really breaks my heart.

  9. #24
    Custom Title Arianne's Avatar
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    Add to that last one:

    Even through heart break and life disappointments, skating has always been there for me. I love being able to escape into that world and into the lives and competition of our beloved skaters. One night when a came back from an evening with the "heartbreaker" the U.S. nationals ladies event was on and I just sat back and enjoyed that world. I know its an escapism technique, but we all need one, don't we. Skating is still my refuge....out on the ice skating, or watching my favorite skaters on t.v., skating always gives me something to look forward to.

    Arianne

  10. #25
    On Edge Piel's Avatar
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    (((Arianne)))

    I think a lot of us have a special place in our hearts for skating or certain skaters for the same reasons you gave.

  11. #26
    MY TVC 1 5 SeaniBu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeaniBu
    Very sad, he was a talented Bass player, and the girls just swooned for him but he ... well I can only say it one way. I went down that path to start with him, I and others chose to stop. He didn't.
    Sad news of this friend I was referring to on this thread.
    http://www.boston.com/news/local/mas...%2FRegion+News
    I feel bad that I did say anything negative about him, but the things apparently caught up to him. Some of the things in this article are more embellished and the story of him trying to overcome was always a constant, and most of "us friends" felt he went away because people didn't know him and he could hide this more - our knowledge there was no "girlfriend." But his Mom and brother were told this the first time he went east. But we all hoped that somehow his Drinking would change.

    Although I can't believe (and not many of us do) he was ever sober for more then a couple of months - we knew he wished he could be "clean" but he would say that he felt like it would always beat him - he threw in the towel to the addiction and let it in."You have got to believe in yourself Randy, you are the only one that can overcome this." We wouldn't even drink around him, our comments and everything were purely faithful. Even when he failed, "you've beaten it before, you can do it again." He must have hoped that a different state or someone else could help him. But it seemed good that around here all the liquor stores knew him and would not sell to him. That seemed like it was a step in the right direction, and although he said what he did about why he wanted to go, it was hard from experience to believe that was really why - maybe there was a "girlfriend" or that was his way of communicating his addiction. We always showed him we had faith in his ability and decisions. I seems like no matter how much he loved people and gave good advice, he didn't love himself, or want to / or was able to take his own advice.

    It is hard for me to think of him now as gone, and I picture him swimming there and coming to a point where he wanted to rely on himself and gave in. I feel like I wish I could have been there because I know him well enough to pay close attention to him and give encouragement, he unfortunately didn't have the strength alone. I think we all believe that we could have encouraged him across, kept him from drinking at least as much as he probably did that night, if not other things. At least we all knew to pay closer attention to him, particularly when he would say I just want to be alone.
    Anyway Randy, no matter how hurt I felt by your actions, I love and miss you! I hope you found that peace. "I'll keep the faith brother."

    [CENTER]



    [/CENTER]
    Last edited by SeaniBu; 08-09-2006 at 02:10 PM.

  12. #27
    Da' Spellin' Homegirl Grgranny's Avatar
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    My story doesn't include boyfriends or lovers. My parents. When they decided they had to have a meeting with his mother about us getting married, they really liked him, my mother said "He's too good for her", When my sis and her hubby were in Wichita for a while, They came and visited her and went to the rodeos she was competing in (barrel racing), they wouldn't want to even see us. One time I begged and they decided we could visit if we brought supper. I have been sorry I did that ever since. That's the kind of hurt you don't ever get over.

  13. #28
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    The Reporter

    We were dating, this newspaper reporter and I. I thought he was neat, things were going kind of okay. Then, I opened the newspaper where he had written a whole column on where are all the neat girls, the bodacious, the "Carrie Bradshaw's" of Evansville and I can't find one to my liking, etc. etc. etc. Never went out with him again. He called and said, "we can be friends". Yeah. right.

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