Okay - Do You Love Or Hate Your Job?

**Ladskater** · 06-03-2007, 01:56 AM

I always enjoyed my job up until this year. There have been many changes made at work and I do not like what I see. We just acquired a new supervisor in our bookstore and frankly speaking, I don't exactly like him. He was hired outside of our Union and does not seem to "get" what we are about. He keeps making chages to our store and pretty much barking orders at us. I don't like his style - it is too heavy handed. The other day he told us that we can't change the radio station we listen to. We have to leave it on the same one everyday. I have had a couple of run ins with him already and he makes me uncomfortable now because I don't know what he is thinking.

I could possibly transfer out to another store, but it is a lot of red tape to do so and it would only be temporary. I would have to come back to my job eventually.

Anyone else have this experience?

**Tonichelle** · 06-03-2007, 11:10 AM

well it's still new but I am absolutely LOVING my job. The people I work with/for are awesome! I love dog mushers! They are the bomb! :D

**flying camel** · 06-03-2007, 01:31 PM

To be honest with you I have never had a job I loved. If I ever found one I would probably never leave. I have come to the conclusion I will always be pretty miserble at work.
But for your situation I wouldn't move along too quickly. I would wait and see how the changes are going. But if things don't look any better I would move on. There is nothing worse then a boss that doesn't like you.

**Antilles** · 06-03-2007, 06:34 PM

I've been with a bank for six years in three different jobs, and there are always apsects of it that I love and hate. The same goes for the people I work with. I like some much better than others. I've been extremely unhappy with my last two management teams. They often make ridiculous decisions and/or treat people like dirt. My job is now being made redundant (that's the second downsized job in two years). This time, I am taking the severance money they are offering and running as far away as I can. I'm hoping to find somewhere that I will find more enjoyment.

I feel your pain, Lad. You'll just have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself. I've only had one direct manager in my entire worklife who was truly awful, and I know how it can make life miserable. Do what you need to make yourself happy.

**julietvalcouer** · 06-03-2007, 06:47 PM

I have things I like and dislike about both jobs. I definitely like the teaching position better, but it's less often, plus all my coworkers are women. (I've found that, whether it's work or skating or dance, I simply respond better to male authority figures. Women I'm either too buddy-buddy or I have this automatic "I don't respect your authority over me", the latter especially with significantly older women, especially those who remind me of schoolteachers. I just don't take females in authority as seriously. Men I only resent/disrespect if they're younger or I feel they're not really deserving of the authority they have. That's only one person right now, and frankly the rest of the kitchen staff hates him, too.) But that job is interesting and I get to work with a variety of different students every week. The other job--I like that I basically am left alone most of the time, I like my coworkers, except for aforementioned jerk and again, no one else likes him or listens to him, either. But the work is boring and menial and the pay isn't good enough. Of course I'm looking elsewhere. I suspect I'll keep doing that until I find something that I enjoy and that pays enough I can do it full time.

**Spun Silver** · 06-03-2007, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by julietvalcouer

I have things I like and dislike about both jobs. I definitely like the teaching position better, but it's less often, plus all my coworkers are women. (I've found that, whether it's work or skating or dance, I simply respond better to male authority figures. Women I'm either too buddy-buddy or I have this automatic "I don't respect your authority over me", the latter especially with significantly older women, especially those who remind me of schoolteachers. I just don't take females in authority as seriously. Men I only resent/disrespect if they're younger or I feel they're not really deserving of the authority they have.

Can't let that go without a response! Your candor is charming, JulietValcouer but I hope you see your gender and age bias as a problem. If only because you might be an authority figure yourself one day and I'm pretty sure you'd find it unjust if your employees refused to take you seriously because of your sex. With any luck you'll be a "significantly older woman" one day as well, hopefully in a society that values older women's wisdom and experience as much as men's.

In the past few years I've had, for the first time, to work at jobs I found unpleasant for various reasons. It felt like slavery and affected my life in ways that went far beyond the actual hours I worked. But it did help to give me a sense of what many people go through all the time and I've stopped thinking people are just being negative if they hate their jobs. I am very fortunate not to have to do that kind of work right now.

Sorry to hear about the changes for the worse at your job, Ladskater. Just because work does affect us in so many ways, I too would urge you to find something you enjoy more, if you can find a way to do that.

**julietvalcouer** · 06-03-2007, 11:12 PM

Heh, I knew I'd get flack for that. But honestly? I have respect for women who don't act like women when it comes to teaching or working. IE, no taking flack, no sounding like condescending stereotypical elementary-school teachers (they're ten, they're not STUPID), no trying to be friends where they should be maintaining authority...and I have definitely encountered far more psycho female teachers and coaches than men. (By psycho I mean 'ones who did enough damage to contribute signifcantly to my needing therapy later.') The younger ones tend to be too casual, the older ones (especially teachers) seem to be prone to the condescending thing. But I'd rather work with younger females when I'm in a supervisory position because I find they listen better than younger males and don't challenge whatever limited authority I might have. Possibly this contributes to my lack of respect, as I challenge or at least ingratiate by overachieving and if someone doesn't, I question it.

Overall--I think I'm just more inclined to respesct people with dominant alpha personalities, and more often I find men with them than women in my professions. The nurture/maternal types who get along rather than compete, I don't understand, find annoying, and therefore don't respect when they're in authority positions, and those tend to be women more than men. I'm hypercompetitive in everything, plus when it comes to teaching I like to be in charge, not happy-fluffy, so I'm not going to get along with the stereotypical feminine/cooperative dynamic.

**Spun Silver** · 06-04-2007, 12:04 PM

Umm, Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada? Margaret Thatcher? Hillary Clinton? Roseanne Barr? Oprah?

**Tonichelle** · 06-04-2007, 02:17 PM

you know I don't think this is something we need to blow out of proportion.

I do better when my boss is male, and not female too... maybe it's upbringing, maybe it's teh locale of where someone grew up

it's different for everyone... in this case there isn't just one right answer. As long as a person knows what s/he works better with that's what matters...

**Ptichka** · 06-04-2007, 02:27 PM

I think it's also largely a question of what field one is in. Because our society doesn't respect teachers nearly as much as it should, a lot of the competitive/ strong people often choose other professions; however, as teaching is seen as a mainly female occupation, weak men are likely to go elsewhere - therefore, there may be a tilt toward "weaker" women. I find that I get along equally well with men and women at work - but that's is largely because the attitude among most software places is more of a no-nonsense type thing.

**julietvalcouer** · 06-04-2007, 06:58 PM

Lady Thatcher doesn't have any problem holding her own with men. We won't go into what I think should be done with Hillary. Roseanne needs etiquette lessons. And Oprah is rich enough she doesn't need to care what ANYONE thinks, much less me. (Though I don't watch her show. Or the View. Think they're rather silly.)

I do think upbringing is probably part of it. And just personality. I respond better to males. Cooking is a male-dominated profession, so I'm more likely to run into men there. Teaching--nothing to do with respect, I think it's just the sort of people who get into working with children. I'm more interested in the subject than the students, but I don't think that's how it usually works with classroom, as opposed to what I do, teaching. People who become classroom teachers generally like kids/teens. I don't care who the students are, kids or adults.

We had one of each today--the older lady with one class of fifth graders had an iron hand and we loved her class--they didn't give her any crap, either. The other teacher...we weren't even sure she or the male chaperone WERE teachers. Bad examples, no authority, and while their kids weren't monsters, they were definitely more squirly than the first lady's.

**Spun Silver** · 06-04-2007, 07:19 PM

To me it is certainly not just about personal taste - stereotypes and bias are very much matters of ethics and politics. They hurt people, do injustice to people, and are often factually wrong, as well.

If it's OK to "not like" female and "significantly older" bosses and coworkers, what about black ones? What about Mexican, gay or disabled ones? (Why not?) And would such "preferences" be translatable into hiring and firing policy? That happens to be illegal....

Anyway - I guess folks can see how I feel about this. My last post on the subject.

**Jhar55** · 06-04-2007, 09:27 PM

My job well it's just that it's a job I've been with the sompany for 14 years and there have been a lot of changes over the years. A buy out, mangers come and go. Sometimes you get someone who's never been a supervisior before and goes in starts throwing their weight around and they don't last long. The supervisoir I have know for long time it was like I couldn't do anything right, well she can't seem to keep anyone in her department the last one who came in after me stayed her 90 days tranfer to new department, we know have 2 new one and she treats me better guess she's afraid to loose any more won't look good on her part. Hang in there and see what happens, if enough workers leave he won't last long and seems to me he's just trying to see how far he can push you.

**Tonichelle** · 06-05-2007, 12:28 AM

I'm not sure it's teh same sort of bias as if it were say the employer who had the bias... if I am not the best fit for a company, and I know it, I'm going to say so out right. If I don't feel comfy with who I'm working with or for, I won't work there. The company, who ever they are, and no matter how qualified I might be, would be better off without me.

This is a very grey issue. Due to religious reasons, or upbringing, or where you come from you're going to react differently in different situations.

I don't think it's sexist for me, a female, to work better under male authority. That was how I was raised/taught. No, I don't think it's wrong. Do I think they're better than I am? Heck no. But I tend to have a more professional 'distance' with a male coworker/boss than I do with a female one... that's just how it is.

That being said, the job I have now most of the people I work with are male... and I'm very comfortable around them and a lot of practical jokes and just fun happens...

The one time I had a female boss, it was an extremely bad experience... and a lot of it had to do with her using the fact that she was female. I realize this is not an every case scenario... but one bad experience can make a person wary.