Okay - Do You Love Or Hate Your Job?

I always enjoyed my job up until this year. There have been many changes made at work and I do not like what I see. We just acquired a new supervisor in our bookstore and frankly speaking, I don't exactly like him. He was hired outside of our Union and does not seem to "get" what we are about. He keeps making chages to our store and pretty much barking orders at us. I don't like his style - it is too heavy handed. The other day he told us that we can't change the radio station we listen to. We have to leave it on the same one everyday. I have had a couple of run ins with him already and he makes me uncomfortable now because I don't know what he is thinking.

I could possibly transfer out to another store, but it is a lot of red tape to do so and it would only be temporary. I would have to come back to my job eventually.

Anyone else have this experience?

well it's still new but I am absolutely LOVING my job. The people I work with/for are awesome! I love dog mushers! They are the bomb!

To be honest with you I have never had a job I loved. If I ever found one I would probably never leave. I have come to the conclusion I will always be pretty miserble at work.
But for your situation I wouldn't move along too quickly. I would wait and see how the changes are going. But if things don't look any better I would move on. There is nothing worse then a boss that doesn't like you.

I've been with a bank for six years in three different jobs, and there are always apsects of it that I love and hate. The same goes for the people I work with. I like some much better than others. I've been extremely unhappy with my last two management teams. They often make ridiculous decisions and/or treat people like dirt. My job is now being made redundant (that's the second downsized job in two years). This time, I am taking the severance money they are offering and running as far away as I can. I'm hoping to find somewhere that I will find more enjoyment.

I feel your pain, Lad. You'll just have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself. I've only had one direct manager in my entire worklife who was truly awful, and I know how it can make life miserable. Do what you need to make yourself happy.

I have things I like and dislike about both jobs. I definitely like the teaching position better, but it's less often, plus all my coworkers are women. (I've found that, whether it's work or skating or dance, I simply respond better to male authority figures. Women I'm either too buddy-buddy or I have this automatic "I don't respect your authority over me", the latter especially with significantly older women, especially those who remind me of schoolteachers. I just don't take females in authority as seriously. Men I only resent/disrespect if they're younger or I feel they're not really deserving of the authority they have. That's only one person right now, and frankly the rest of the kitchen staff hates him, too.) But that job is interesting and I get to work with a variety of different students every week. The other job--I like that I basically am left alone most of the time, I like my coworkers, except for aforementioned jerk and again, no one else likes him or listens to him, either. But the work is boring and menial and the pay isn't good enough. Of course I'm looking elsewhere. I suspect I'll keep doing that until I find something that I enjoy and that pays enough I can do it full time.

julietvalcouer said:

I have things I like and dislike about both jobs. I definitely like the teaching position better, but it's less often, plus all my coworkers are women. (I've found that, whether it's work or skating or dance, I simply respond better to male authority figures. Women I'm either too buddy-buddy or I have this automatic "I don't respect your authority over me", the latter especially with significantly older women, especially those who remind me of schoolteachers. I just don't take females in authority as seriously. Men I only resent/disrespect if they're younger or I feel they're not really deserving of the authority they have.

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Can't let that go without a response! Your candor is charming, JulietValcouer but I hope you see your gender and age bias as a problem. If only because you might be an authority figure yourself one day and I'm pretty sure you'd find it unjust if your employees refused to take you seriously because of your sex. With any luck you'll be a "significantly older woman" one day as well, hopefully in a society that values older women's wisdom and experience as much as men's.

In the past few years I've had, for the first time, to work at jobs I found unpleasant for various reasons. It felt like slavery and affected my life in ways that went far beyond the actual hours I worked. But it did help to give me a sense of what many people go through all the time and I've stopped thinking people are just being negative if they hate their jobs. I am very fortunate not to have to do that kind of work right now.

Sorry to hear about the changes for the worse at your job, Ladskater. Just because work does affect us in so many ways, I too would urge you to find something you enjoy more, if you can find a way to do that.

Heh, I knew I'd get flack for that. But honestly? I have respect for women who don't act like women when it comes to teaching or working. IE, no taking flack, no sounding like condescending stereotypical elementary-school teachers (they're ten, they're not STUPID), no trying to be friends where they should be maintaining authority...and I have definitely encountered far more psycho female teachers and coaches than men. (By psycho I mean 'ones who did enough damage to contribute signifcantly to my needing therapy later.') The younger ones tend to be too casual, the older ones (especially teachers) seem to be prone to the condescending thing. But I'd rather work with younger females when I'm in a supervisory position because I find they listen better than younger males and don't challenge whatever limited authority I might have. Possibly this contributes to my lack of respect, as I challenge or at least ingratiate by overachieving and if someone doesn't, I question it.

Overall--I think I'm just more inclined to respesct people with dominant alpha personalities, and more often I find men with them than women in my professions. The nurture/maternal types who get along rather than compete, I don't understand, find annoying, and therefore don't respect when they're in authority positions, and those tend to be women more than men. I'm hypercompetitive in everything, plus when it comes to teaching I like to be in charge, not happy-fluffy, so I'm not going to get along with the stereotypical feminine/cooperative dynamic.

Umm, Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada? Margaret Thatcher? Hillary Clinton? Roseanne Barr? Oprah?

you know I don't think this is something we need to blow out of proportion.

I do better when my boss is male, and not female too... maybe it's upbringing, maybe it's teh locale of where someone grew up

it's different for everyone... in this case there isn't just one right answer. As long as a person knows what s/he works better with that's what matters...

I think it's also largely a question of what field one is in. Because our society doesn't respect teachers nearly as much as it should, a lot of the competitive/ strong people often choose other professions; however, as teaching is seen as a mainly female occupation, weak men are likely to go elsewhere - therefore, there may be a tilt toward "weaker" women. I find that I get along equally well with men and women at work - but that's is largely because the attitude among most software places is more of a no-nonsense type thing.

Lady Thatcher doesn't have any problem holding her own with men. We won't go into what I think should be done with Hillary. Roseanne needs etiquette lessons. And Oprah is rich enough she doesn't need to care what ANYONE thinks, much less me. (Though I don't watch her show. Or the View. Think they're rather silly.)

I do think upbringing is probably part of it. And just personality. I respond better to males. Cooking is a male-dominated profession, so I'm more likely to run into men there. Teaching--nothing to do with respect, I think it's just the sort of people who get into working with children. I'm more interested in the subject than the students, but I don't think that's how it usually works with classroom, as opposed to what I do, teaching. People who become classroom teachers generally like kids/teens. I don't care who the students are, kids or adults.

We had one of each today--the older lady with one class of fifth graders had an iron hand and we loved her class--they didn't give her any crap, either. The other teacher...we weren't even sure she or the male chaperone WERE teachers. Bad examples, no authority, and while their kids weren't monsters, they were definitely more squirly than the first lady's.

To me it is certainly not just about personal taste - stereotypes and bias are very much matters of ethics and politics. They hurt people, do injustice to people, and are often factually wrong, as well.

If it's OK to "not like" female and "significantly older" bosses and coworkers, what about black ones? What about Mexican, gay or disabled ones? (Why not?) And would such "preferences" be translatable into hiring and firing policy? That happens to be illegal....

Anyway - I guess folks can see how I feel about this. My last post on the subject.

My job well it's just that it's a job I've been with the sompany for 14 years and there have been a lot of changes over the years. A buy out, mangers come and go. Sometimes you get someone who's never been a supervisior before and goes in starts throwing their weight around and they don't last long. The supervisoir I have know for long time it was like I couldn't do anything right, well she can't seem to keep anyone in her department the last one who came in after me stayed her 90 days tranfer to new department, we know have 2 new one and she treats me better guess she's afraid to loose any more won't look good on her part. Hang in there and see what happens, if enough workers leave he won't last long and seems to me he's just trying to see how far he can push you.

I'm not sure it's teh same sort of bias as if it were say the employer who had the bias... if I am not the best fit for a company, and I know it, I'm going to say so out right. If I don't feel comfy with who I'm working with or for, I won't work there. The company, who ever they are, and no matter how qualified I might be, would be better off without me.

This is a very grey issue. Due to religious reasons, or upbringing, or where you come from you're going to react differently in different situations.

I don't think it's sexist for me, a female, to work better under male authority. That was how I was raised/taught. No, I don't think it's wrong. Do I think they're better than I am? Heck no. But I tend to have a more professional 'distance' with a male coworker/boss than I do with a female one... that's just how it is.

That being said, the job I have now most of the people I work with are male... and I'm very comfortable around them and a lot of practical jokes and just fun happens...

The one time I had a female boss, it was an extremely bad experience... and a lot of it had to do with her using the fact that she was female. I realize this is not an every case scenario... but one bad experience can make a person wary.

Well, I've got mixed feelings about my job. I love teaching kids who really want to learn, but I've had it with kids who don't. Thankfully most of the kids I've taught through the years have been decent, good kids. I'm also very thankful that most of the staff members at my school are dedicated and supportive of each other. :agree:

As for teaching, I love the kids-- even the bad ones-- they're what make my job interesting and unique. What I can't stand about my job is often (sorry in advance) THE PARENTS. I teach high school, and the majority of my students' parents are one of two types: first, the ones who feel that they are essentially finished raising their children and have no idea what's going on with them, or second, the micromanagers. The first kind are often the ones who fill their children's rooms with computers, tv's, DVD players, game systems, cell phones and land lines, iPods, and so forth and really believe the kid when he says he's in his room studying and doing homework-- even in the face of poor grades.

The second kind-- the micromanagers-- are the WORST! They are living vicariously through their children, and failure is UNACCEPTABLE. They end up turning their poor kids into anxious little grade-grubbers, cheaters, and/or babies in adult bodies. I had one father two years ago whose daughter received a "B" in my advanced-level English class. He wanted her to go to one specific prestigious college, and a "B" was not going to cut it. He called me or came in to school EVERY DAY from February clear through the summer months trying to strong-arm me into changing the grade. He wrote notes, he made appointments with her counselor, the principal, the assistant principal. He lurked around my table for the entire three hours of spring parent-teacher conferences. He called other kids' parents to find out what they were getting in my class. The thing is, the girl was really a "B" level student. She was not going to be valedictorian like her older sister. She'd received B's in a couple of other classes the year before, but he just couldn't let it go. When she didn't make it into National Honor Society the next year, he transferred his obsession from me to the NHS advisor. How is someone like that preparing his child for adulthood? Why can't some people see that our failures (mind you, a "B" is FAR from failure) and shortcomings are what teach us to be better people????

Geesh, sorry about the rant!


Then, occasionally, you get the rare gem of a parent who has achieved the fine balance of when to hold on and when to let go...<sigh>

dutchherder said:

mind you, a "B" is FAR from failure

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Especially a "B" in an advanced class!

This brought to mind a girl I used to go to school with back in Russia. Her name was Tanya, and she was the nicest person; also very shy. I always found it odd that Tanya was very rather insecure despite being a straight A student (this was in Russia, where there was not a hint of grade inflation, and getting A's was honestly difficult; I could never manage it other than in Math); I always thought her insecurity stemmed from being somewhat overweight - not fat, just somewhat heavy. Anyway, years later I found out that her parents beat her for every B she'd get... She grew up with an awful fear of failure and a very low self esteem; neither the college she went to nor her job are anywhere near what she's capable of. The scariest part is that I bet her parents honestly thought they succeeded in their task - they did raise a perfectionist, who always got A's...

So far I do. Although it is impairing my quality Golden Skate time.

btw, I have been nicknamed "Dorothy" at this new job.

julietvalcouer said:

Heh, I knew I'd get flack for that. But honestly? I have respect for women who don't act like women when it comes to teaching or working. IE, no taking flack, no sounding like condescending stereotypical elementary-school teachers (they're ten, they're not STUPID), no trying to be friends where they should be maintaining authority...and I have definitely encountered far more psycho female teachers and coaches than men. (By psycho I mean 'ones who did enough damage to contribute signifcantly to my needing therapy later.') The younger ones tend to be too casual, the older ones (especially teachers) seem to be prone to the condescending thing. But I'd rather work with younger females when I'm in a supervisory position because I find they listen better than younger males and don't challenge whatever limited authority I might have. Possibly this contributes to my lack of respect, as I challenge or at least ingratiate by overachieving and if someone doesn't, I question it.

Overall--I think I'm just more inclined to respesct people with dominant alpha personalities, and more often I find men with them than women in my professions. The nurture/maternal types who get along rather than compete, I don't understand, find annoying, and therefore don't respect when they're in authority positions, and those tend to be women more than men. I'm hypercompetitive in everything, plus when it comes to teaching I like to be in charge, not happy-fluffy, so I'm not going to get along with the stereotypical feminine/cooperative dynamic.

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Wow - how different we all are!! I find the alpha male traits in anyone, boss, co-worker trainee, any of them to be extremely off-putting whether the person is male or female. Competition in the work place can be the most horrible way for the organisation to bleed you dry - management stir up some competition in the lower ranks and sit back and watch people work themselves into an early grave for that promotion. That's always been the way in my profession, but thankfully i think the majority of us young 'uns want a work-life balance, not an early death from heart disease caused by stress.

The one person in my team who has those horrible alpha male traits that i dislike so much is one of the women in a senior position. I hate every job i have to do with her and get nothing out of it but late nights and stress. The other two people i work for are both male and have more of the nurturing/befriending traits and if we end up working late - we all stay in to get it done so that we each ease the burden for the other and don't try and step on the person next to you to get ahead. I don't think the sex of the people i work with is relevant at all (except maybe that traditionally women have had to work twice as hard as the men to get to the same place and maybe this woman feels she has to be this way to get ahead) just their personalities.

The main reason i stay in this job is becuase everyone in the department, bar this one woman, has a nice attitude in the workplace - we all get on at work and behave like friends but none of us actually socialise outside of work - and i think that's the best and healtiest way for me to work.

Ant

I can't really say all women bosses are not good but in my experience I have had a number of men and a few women bosses. None of the women I have worked for were likeable. One of them was really nasty. I'm sure there are plenty of women that are really good but in my experience, I didn't get any of them.