There is a big NASCAR race coming up in Michigan, so the local newspaper (the Detroit Free Press) ran this little survey on the question of whether race car driving is a "real sport." (My answers for ice skating are in parentheses.)
One point for each "yes," ten points total to qualify as a "real sport."
Do they keep score? (Yes.)
Is it staged on an odd geometric figure, such as a diamond, a grid-iron, a rectangle, a super-oval, etc.? (Yes.)
Do participants have a number? (They have a skate order number.)
Do they have to wear a helmet or gloves? (Yes – CAMILLE!)
Do they use a stick? http://www.cityofartesia.us/newsArti...kwanhockey.jpg
Can they use their hands? (Exquisitely!)
Do they risk bursting into flames?
Can you bet on it?
Can you get in a (betting) pool?
Did Donald trump bet a haircut on it? Subtract one point for yes.
Can you buy a jersey for it? (USFS is missing a good bet here. Who wouldn’t want to buy a Raechel Flatt or Mirai Nagasu jersey for next year’s Nationals?)
Can you rent shoes for it? (Absolutely.)
Is it a Will Ferrell movie? (ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!)
Is it on ESPN? (Yes.)
Is Budweiser an official sponsor?
Are there supermodels hanging around? (Sure! Just like they showed Eva Longoria every time Tony Parker made a basket in the NBA finals, they show Tanith Belbin every time Evan Lysacek lands a triple jump!)
Do participants go on to compete in “Dancing with the Stars?” (Can we claim Apolo Ono?)
Are the refs against Detroit? (Yes! The judges constantly pick on Sphilband’s guys (B&A, Virtue and Moir, Davis and White) vis-a-vis the Russian ice dancers.)