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Thread: Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery...

  1. #1

    Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery...

    Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

    Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
    Someone call the janitor. We're going to need a mop.
    Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!
    Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
    Hand me that, uh, that uh, thingie.
    Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
    Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
    Darn, there go the lights again...
    Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, this guy's got two of 'em.
    Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
    Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
    What's this doing here?
    I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
    That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?
    I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
    Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
    Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?
    Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
    And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
    Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
    Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
    Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough.
    What do you mean you want a divorce!
    She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!!
    FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
    Dang! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

  2. #2


    LOL! thanks for the laugh!

  3. #3

    Re: lol!

    :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
    :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
    :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:


  4. #4

    Re: lol!

    Just received this in an e-mail.

    Subject: Colonoscopy Comments

    A physician claims these are actual comments from his patientsmade while he was performing colonoscopies:

    1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man
    has gone before.

    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

    4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

    5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there

    6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

    7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

    8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand
    out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

    9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

    10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!"

    11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

    12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

    13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that
    my head is not, in fact, up there?"


  5. #5
    Show 42

    Re: lol!

    ......Piel and mmandel.........what a riot! Thanks! :rollin: 42

  6. #6

    Re: lol!

    True story: After the anaesthesia had set in, the surgeon said, "hold on there, I just have to run to the bank. I'll be back in 20 minutes'. The anaesthesia did hold up but the surgeon got fired.


  7. #7

    Re: lol!

    Senseless humor is good for the soul.

  8. #8

    Re: lol!

    Thanks, I really needed that :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:


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