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Thread: Big Brother Updates

  1. #1
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    Post Big Brother Updates

    Dana just doesn't want to see Nate's f-ing face. She isn't mad that Alison won, she's mad that Nate has a smirk on his face. Wow. I mean, wow. Dana just lives in some bizarro world where self-awareness doesn't exist.

    She just said that Alison is going to be totally obnoxious this week (kettle, meet pot) and that she won the HoH by a complete fluke, because it wasn't based on skill at all. Um, no. Good thing Ali didn't waste all that time practicing then, idiot. And as blurry just pointed out in chat, Dana's win last week was HARDLY any feat. Dana's memory is the equivalent of a gnat's.

    Jun shovels food in her mouth. Man, that girl has a serious eating disorder. Wow, Dana just uttered a full sentence without a curse word. Dana's trying to be all nice to Alison now. Dana thinks Shrimp Scampi is "ethnic food". Heh.

    Justin asks Dana what she's thinking, she says she isn't thinking anything, Except she's sick of steak, she wants Ethnic food, like chicken parm or rats, you know, stuff that buzzards eat. Sitting on the beds hand in hand, it's actually really disgusting. I'd love to see these two go up on the block, try to cozy up to Allison, then have some big fight where they kill each other.

    BB tells Justin to put on his Microphone and under his breath, he says, "I just changed c'sucker."

    I am just realizing that when Jun changed, she put on a pink sweater and then willingly unbuttoned the bottom button to reveal her amazing gut. Does anyone have a staple gun? We'll start with her sweater and then move up to her mouth.

    Dana once again says how Allison is in the diary room "talking sh't about her". She says Nathan is running the whole show this week. I tend to disagree, I think Allison is a "pissed awf" woman and she wants revenge on the buzzardcrotch that tried to split them up.

    A nose comes in, with Robert trailing behind it. BuzzardCrotch says nominations are tomorrow and she just wants to get it over with. She also thinks food comp is tomorrow. Dana says if she's on the block and on Peanut Butter and Jelly, she's leaving.

    BuzzardCrotch tells us that she was only making $400 a week in her job and now she's making twice as much now doing BB4. Jun says that on BB she's making a fraction of what she usually makes.

    Allison wants Dana gone. Nathan says they should go to Dana after the veto and say, "We'll save your [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] if you promise to only put up Robert, Jee or Jun if you get HOH." Allison says, "No deals, I don't trust her, she's going up."

    Allison thinks they should be coming to her offering her deals. They all said they won't kiss her [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color], but they'll be there, we all know they'll be coming. BB tells Dana to go to Diary Room, Ally and Nate laugh. Allison says DR asked her if there was anything that Dana could do to keep from going up, she says, "Yeah, voluntary exit."

    Dana continues with her revisionist history of the HOH competition. It was a FF (f-ing fluke). Oh my. Dana now pulls the religion card (yeah, I know, this is going to be a stretch. Go with it, though, it's a fun ride). Dana says she is more religious than Nate and Ali and says she has been to church more in the last 6 months than they have in their entire life. Maybe at the Unholy Church of Mid-Afternoon Satan Worshippers.

    Pots and Kettles start flying as the Dark Side calls Ali 'emotional', 'petty', 'insane', 'unreasonable'. Folks? Been there, done that last week. Move it along.

    Jun tries to butter up to Ali. Robert is yelling 'Jun campaigned against us dude'. Jun said ali said she doesn't know who she's gonna pick so she's gonna do an "Eeenie meenie miney moe". The stooges are infuriated. They don't know whether to believe she'd do that or not. Now they're commending Jun for doing that (going to Ali). Jun warned her (Jun is telling this all to Sluggo by the way) that the silent strong players will be overlooked. Ali says she knows so the eenie meanie miney moe would be best way to do it. The DS is clearly pissed that Ali is not giving any info/names.

    The 3 Stooges say that if one of them goes up against Dana, no one should use the veto because another one of the three will be put up. They think they may go after the 3 Stooges because "they" know how tight the three are. They discuss the combinations of nominations. Justin says it could be "Dana and Erika". I'm wondering on whose planet Justin is currently residing and what color the sky is there.

    Robert and Justin are talking about playing Allison and saying that they'll taunt her with the fact that Nathan's calling the shots. I'm uncertain as to what purpose they think it'll serve.
    Robert says that Jee really needed those two because he would have been [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] over by these "c'suckers".

    Dana has referred to Jack, Erika, Alison and Nate as the "Arayan Nation." Dana is an [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color]. Back to the coverall discussion.

    Now they're talking about how they smoke pot. Justin has a grinder and he packs the bowl and it'll last him about two weeks because he only takes a couple hits a day. Dana talks about how her friends are always offering her "tea, especially her black friends." Justin says the same thing happens to him, in Philly his black friends are always like "Hey, bro" and, just in case you were wondering, Justin also has a couple of black friends in L.A. So, just in case you were keeping score: Jack, Erika, Allison, Nate -Arayan Nation; Dana & Justin - Lifetime members of the Anti-Defamation League because, hey, some of their best friends are black.

    Jee asks Dana whether she can wear a bra with the top she has on and Dana says "no". Jee says he would tell his "woman" that she'd better f-ing wear something under that bra." Everyone gives him a hard time about that attitude. They then ask Jee what he would and would not "allow" his girlfriend to wear. Justin says that if you really, really trust your girl, you shouldn't sweat it. Jee says he tells his girlfriend upfront that he has some problems and one of them is that he is possessive. Dana says some girls like that. Jee says his girlfriend checks up on him more than he checks up on her. That she checks his messages and emails. Dana says they balance each other out because they're both "insecure like that." Dana says Italian men are like that, they want to go out and F--K around but the woman has to stay at home and do nothing. Jee is getting angry and he says she's a bad [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] chick. Justin says they're not questioning his taste in women.

    Jee goes inside to get a beer and Jun comes over and says when they were dating Jee wouldn't let her wear her tight clothes, no cleavage, etc. Jun talks about how she is given a hard time because she's so Americanized. That people in her neighborhood call her a "sell-out" but she's like "f--k that, I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it." It is statements like this that make not completely hate Jun.

    Now Dana hates Erika and admits that who she hates changes every five minutes. She says all she can see is Erika jumping up and down when Allison won HOH. Robert says Erika shouldn't even be there. Dana says Allison shouldn't even be there.
    Dana says it pisses her awf that if one of them had one HOH, Jack and Erika would be out there kissing up to them. They talk about how boring the OA is and how much more fun they're having even though the tide is turned against them. They are convinced that, because the OA is two separate teams of two that they'll turn on each other and these five are so tight. They all swear allegiance to each other. They discuss when they'll use the veto.

    Just so you're clear: If Jun is up and Dana wins the veto, she's saving Dana. If one of the 3 Stooges wins the veto and Robert and Justin are up, they'll use the veto even if it means Dana or Jun goes up. Jun seems a little nonplussed by this. So, while just busting the OA for being two teams of two, they have just made it clear that they are two teams, one of two and one of three.
    Dana says Jack is wuss and she's tired of his comments. She says he followed her into the bathroom and told her how grateful he was for her allowing him to stay, knows she did what she had to do and commends her for it. She tells the DS it was all bullsh-t and he is playing both sides. He is playing both sides to the extent of being civil to you, you horrid excuse for a human being but maybe...just maybe b-tchface he is a genuinely a nice guy. Ever heard of one of those? Try looking up role model you buzzard.

    All these people are doing is ripping Erika and Jack. Saying if THEY won HOH they'd be out there right now talking strategy with THEM. I beg to differ with you nefarious hypocritical tapeworms.
    Ali tells Jun she wants the guys to come to her and Jun tells her flat out no one will come to her. Ali starts acting like SHE'S the one begging for deals and asks Jun if they can make a deal. She proposes to Jun that she will not put her up if Jun promises if she gets HOH next week she will not put her up. Jun agrees but doesn't agree not to put up Nate. Ali says she understands.
    Jun is accusing Jack and Erika of racism because they think she's the brains behind the operation. What, just because I'm Asian? Doing his best to quash the "smart Asian" stereotype, Jee non-sequiturs about his girlfriend and pulls out a picture of her and shows Justin to prove that she's a hottie. He then pulls out a picture of his mom and sister and proclaims his sister a "hottie", too ("We're a good looking family").

    Robert teases Jee about hooking him up with his sister. Jee says his sister is really picky. Hee. I think he just slammed Robert.

    Jee continues pimping his sister to Justin. God, Robert is now talking about how his sister is a "hottie" that she has a great body. Jesus. I would literally kill my brother if I overheard him having a conversation like this. Robert is now talking about a cousin "beautiful, blond, big t-ts, if she wasn't my first cousin I'd go after her." I'm thinking said cousin gives Robert a wide berth at the next family reunion.

    All of a sudden Justin doesn't want to cuddle Dana at all hours. Last week, he couldn't keep his hands off Dana. I've noticed that he has hardly touched her since we came back from the live show.

    It seems the boys name their bongs. Yeah, I know. Justin says his friends named theirs "Darth Vader". Jee says he and Jun (!) named their bong "Big Red". Justin says one of his bongs is named "Cal Rippen." I'm wondering if Justin has a matched set. What Would Martha Stewart Do?

    Jee says he "wanted to leave his mark" on all his women. He wanted to carve his name on them with a knife. He then says he wants to get really stoned when he gets out of the house. Dana says "Well, it won't take much. One hit and you'll be like [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color]."

  2. #2
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    FOOD Competition

    spoiler!!

    Evidently it is the same people (except for swapping out Erika and Nate) who were on PB&J the last time (Jee, Dana, Robert and Erika have to eat pb&j). HAR! Right now all the hamsters are eating peanut butter and jelly. Ali says this is the first PB&J sandwich she has eaten since she has been there. Hrmm. Maybe not the smartest thing to say in front of a bunch of hungry pissed off hamsters. But, yeah. It's still funny

    Jee and Dana are solemnly sitting by the red team area. They are soaking wet. BC looks really defeated. She hasn't started cussing. Yet. Oh, I just her an under the breath "f--k." The camera people seem to be enjoying her misery.

    Crybaby Robert says he is seriously thinking of taking a penalty nomination and eating. F--k'em! He says definately.

    Jee, always the optimist, makes himself a big ole peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He says somehow he just knew he was going to lose today. He said he had a gut feeling, and his gut is always right. (Except for the one time, remember? When his gut was really really really wrong on national tv? Yeah, I remember too)
    .

  3. #3
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    SPOILER

    Jun and Dana up for eviction!!

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    Live Feeds

    Nate was discussing with Jack & Erika the possibility of Nate winning veto and getting Dana off the block so Ali would put Justin up.

    UnFrickin beleivable.

    Nate says that if he gets veto he's taking Jun off. Erika and Jack both ask if that's okay with Alison. Alison goes back to her refrain that she really wants Dana gone.

    Nate is teasing Ali about making out with Dave. Ali completely denies it. Nate says that he can always tellwhen Ali is lying because she gets defensive and starts calling names. Erika likes blonde guys. Once again I would love to hear about the 2 year crack binge that resulted i Robert.

    In the hot tub Dana thinks that Alison is betting on it being a tie with 3 people voting for Dana and 3 for Jun, so Alison can pick her.
    Alison comes into the conversation and she said that she talked with Justin with Robert present and told him that if Justin takes Dana off, she will put Robert up. Alison thinks that this will keep Justin in line with the 3 stooges. It seems that everyone really wants Justin on the block. Alison still is kicking herself for not putting Justin up, but says she would prefer he go next week.

    Nate says Ali made a great move without knowing it (hee!) by nominating Dana and Jun because there are so many possibilities when it comes to the veto. Ali will tell Jun that if she uses the veto then she'll put up Jee, but she'll really put up Justin. If Justin gets it and pulls off Dana then she'll put up Robert. Justin and Robert have had an alliance from the beginning. I do not see why a 'backup plan' is supposed to be so great when she could have just nominated Dana and Justin to begin with. If Justin pulls off Dana it will leave two of the lesser Dark Siders on the block with the two-headed evil powers still in the house. Sigh.

    I went to look for the Stooges and my Feed opened up on a frozen shot of Boogerbert removing a new creation from his nose in the hot tub. I'm still shaking from the gross-out, particularly since I got a *really good* screencap of it. I will try to give you all the chills too. Share the ew, that's what I always say.

    Dana joins Jun. You are NOT going to believe what she's wearing. Our lovely Miss Dana dazzles the viewers eyes with a lovely bare shouldered orange ensemble. It may be a huge beach towel but I'm thinking it's a bed cover. Any sensible woman knows that shoes make the outfit and Dana is clearly one of those as she makes a dramatic, if not daring statement of wearing FUZZY pink house slippers. Divas of old, make way for our new!

    Dana is bragging she'd knock her (must be Ali) f***ing A**out if she were on the street. At this time I'd like to set up a trust fund to which all proceeds will dedicated purely to anger management treatment for our lovely and charming Miss Dana.

    Mantroll's paranoia and insecurity is in full swing. She's now screeching full time into Jusdisgustin. Something about betrayal. I can't catch much of it, I'll see if I can fill in the gaps by looking at the other boards.

    Edited to elaborate: According to Jokers Updates, it all started when Mantroll is talking about punching Aliho in the face. Jusdisgustin, probably fed up, tells her that this is just a game and Mantroll wouldn't pull that [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] in public. Mantroll hears this and goes into full meltdown. Jeejune isn't helping when he chimes in about Jusdisgustin rubbing wax on Aliho's breasts in the hot tub.

    God bless Jeejune. He has the best timing when it comes to saying the right things at the right time!

    Jee, Robert, and Dana. They are whinning, as they were earlier, that they aren't getting enough luxury competitions. Dana says they should get something like a letter, their favorite pet to which Jee is like, WHAT??? I DON'T WANT NO F***ING PET HERE. Dana mentions on BB2 someone had a pig. This gets the conversation going and time to insert jokes now as Robert states he wants a pig! Rob ole buddy ole pal...get off your skinny [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color], walk over to a mirror and take a good long look. Actually my apology little curly tailed cuties...you are MUCH better looking than Rob. And may I add, better mannered too.

    Robert swears on his family that he never did anything bad to Erika, she did everything bad to him. Jun says she believes Robert, because Erika never gives details about all of the bad things Robert did. Jun, look at the guy. His mere existence is an afront to women everywhere.

    Jun has vacated Justin's bed, and Dana has crawled in. She and Justin "snuggle." He proclaims that it was a dark day for all of them. You want darkness Justin? I have looked into the heart of darkness. And it is you and Dana cuddling.

    Rat leaves to go brush his teeth. All feeds go to him. Again I ask, why me? Erika comes in and advises Rat he has something on his paw...er foot. He reaches down pulls it off and walks out. Guess a thank you was not deserved..or perhaps he doesn't know those words.

    Jack asks Erika if he's noticed Jun gaining weight. Erika replies yes, about 10 pounds worth. Jack says WOW and compares it to Roberts drinking.

    Dana, complaining "s--t it's cold" hops into bed with Jun. She talks about how her mom used to do the "mummy" to her, and wrap her tight in her blankets. She says her blankets were actually this really weird shirt that had sleeves that would tie behind her back, and that her room had all of these fun cushions all over everything. And every day these nice men in white jackets would come and visit her. Not really. But you probably were buying that, weren't you?

    Mr. Robert's Neighborhood
    Robert knows everybody. Robert lives in LA. Robert knows singers. Robert knows movie stars. Robert knows athletes. Robert knows millionaires. Studio 54 guy? Yep, him too. Stoats, goats, tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks. Everybody. But why, if Honkbert knows everyone, doesn't he know a decent otorhinolaryngologist (ears-nose-throat)? I'm just saying.

    Please don't Squeeze the Charmin
    Jun and Dana dare each other what to do if they are evicted. Jun says Dana has to squeeze Jee's butt with both hands. Dana says Jun has to squeeze Nathan's butt with both hands.

    Grab Your #2 Pencil
    The Hamsters continue to study inane facts that they will never be asked for POV competition. How many fire extinguishers in the house? Duck colors for the billionth time, Michelle's High School, The score of Duckball, What clothes Dave brought to the house,

    Poor Grandma never gets any action
    A lovely conversation between Dana and Jee. Dana tells him if he gets evicted, she might kiss him.
    Jee: Would be a "nice" kiss?
    Dana: I'm not going to give you the tongue. My f--king grandmother is going to be watching.

    Quotable Quotes for $200
    Nate "It's scary. I hate depending on my brain."

    Jun's Super Secret Plan
    Jun is going to start winning tomorrow! Jun is going to cut her nails! Jun is going to put her hair up in a ponytail! Jun is going to put Vaseline all over her face! Jun is going to win! Win! WIN! Words fail me at this point. Cut her nails? --Well, ok, that might help if your talons are particularly long. Hair in ponytail? --Sure, you might be able to see better. Vaseline all over her face? --Hubbawha?

    Missing Dave. Day 2
    Jack tells Ali that Dave brought an inflatable moneky and a red wig into the house. Dave was hoping Julie would ask to "see Dave's Monkey."

    Sensitivity Classes for Everyone
    Jun asked Ali the nationality of her boyfriend. Ali said he was a "Red Man." Jun says she doesn't understand why they stopped using that term. Later, Jun relates to the Stooges that Ali said when she and her boyfriend were talking about "family trees", Ali said they would have to make a "family teepee."

    Next up? White bread vs. wheat bread. Jun teases Dana and asks her why she has to pick on the "white bread eaters." Dana doesn't like her PB&J on wheat, and gets (alltogethernow) pissed awf when the non-PB eaters use the white bread, so there is none left for the PB eaters.

    Think we're done? Hell no. Robert says Cubans don't like spicy food. Cubans don't eat chili. And to round out the conversation, Jee calls Justin a "dirty little wop." Justin says he prefers "greasy wop" better, so Jee calls him a gwop.

    Cleopatra, Queen of Denial
    Ali tells Nate about her fling with Dave. Nothing happened. He rubbed her belly, that was all. Ali is upset because she thinks her boyfriend is going to think that more happened than that. She says the only way she'll get her boyfriend back is if she wins the $500k. Now, if I were said boyfriend, I am not sure which would be more insulting. The fact that Ali thinks he is a moron, or that she thinks he is so materialistic, he will only stay with her for cash.

    Starting.......now!
    Dana "I guess it's time to go to bed and be miserable for the rest of my life."
    Jun "I'm gonna go into full drama queen mode tonight."

    Parting Shots
    Jack "When Dana sees my DR entries, she is going to send the Italian mafia after me."
    Dana "I can win that f--king POV competition. When I do, I'm going to use the veto medal to choke Nathan.
    Jack compares reasoning with Dana to "using a squirtgun on an elephant."
    Jee "I don't like older women. Well, maybe a little older, but not like, over 30.

  5. #5
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    Question Something Going on in the Diary Room

    BB is asking the people to go into the diary room individually, when they come out they are to sit in the livingroom and not talk to anyone...

    while the others who haven't been called are waiting, they're talking...Robert knows all about Temptation Island, the scuzzy little freakshow. He says that Erika tries out for all the reality shows. Jun adds that her time is running out because, you know, at 33 Erika is an old maid. Robert says that no doubt, Erika is "done."

    I can't believe Dana has kept her mouth shut for 20 minutes now. (forced to by BB since she came out of the diary room)

    Boys looking at Erika's photos. Justin rags on her white dog, calling it scruffy. Justin asks if one photo is Erika dressed up as a man; Robert says it's her dad. Justin laughs long and loud about how horrible it is that she looks like her dad. Robert agrees.
    Robert says Erika's mom is better looking than Erika.

    Wow, Robert is a truly horrible person. Erika hasn't said hardly anything bad about him and he's constantly talking smack about her. He's completely vile.

    Jun's out of the DR.

    Jusitn called. Thank goodness we're almost done with this bull. As Justin walks by, Dana gives him a smile. She's in lurve

    BB tells Nathan and Justin that they have to be in camera view, so they can't be laying behind the couch. Nate is also asked to drop his ping-pong ball back in the DR.

    Poor little Rat is alone in BFE since he's the last one to be called to the DR. He contemplates life as a turtle in an aquarium (whoops TANK - sorry Justin) and then takes the opportunity to booger hunt and sniffle sniffle sniffle. Stretch. sniffle. dig dig sniffle. Hey turtle whatcha doin.

    Flush in the background. sniffle sniffle stare dig. Shrug shoulders and examine muscles in the mirror. sniffle sniffle pace. Excitement folks!! and for the low low price of $9.95 per month.
    Real has pity on me and loses it's connection

  6. #6
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    Lest you think no one is reading, let me assure you that I'm hooked! Your updates are far more entertaining than the actual show! Keep em coming

  7. #7
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    So am I.

    In fact, I'm hooked and check back regularly for your updates LOL.

    Thanks Seonaid

  8. #8
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    Post Weekend Updates

    Robert won the power of veto

    Kitchen: Justin jokes with Alison about how she feels about Robert using the veto. She jokes, "how do you feel about going up, cuz that's what's going to happen." Justin? Looks a little surprised. He and Snotbert assure that it won't be used.
    Snotbert expresses his appreciation about Ali not putting a stooge on the block

    Dana still bemoaning the fact that she saved the stooges, they're still sitting pretty, and she's "out the f--kin' door, because of this B--ch." Complains that everyone is bogus, and it's "like nails on a chalkboard" - Dana, we understand your analogy completely. "I made this ballsy f--kin move, and it gets me nowhere" - perhaps some insight? No, I think she's just being self-congratulatory - for having balls, that is. "You're once, twice, three times a laaaady..."

    She realizes that she can make no deals at this point. Dana says she "can't do it", and I assume this to mean that she can't campaign against Jun.

    Discussing some future nomination scenarios. Dana knows that if Robert uses the veto, that Justin would go up, and Justin would be voted out. Justin agrees. Justin says Ali wouldn't put up Jee. Ali told him that if Robert or Jee got the veto and used it, she would put up Justin. Dana needs a tissue. Gets back and Justin says he was going to "69" her. My eyes!!! My ears!!! It burns!! It burns!!

    Now Dana realizing that she is going, and wants to "f--kin walk out of here". PLEASE DO!!! We already know you have the balls! Prove it!

    Dana asks Justin directly why they're not using the veto on her. Especially after she saved them. If she had stayed with the OA, there's no way she would be on the block, and 1, maybe 2 of the stooges would be gone. Justin kinda agrees (as do I - you screwed up Deinous!), but talks in circles. She's actually very calm about all of this. Why isn't she flipping out? Maybe it's coming. Something to look forward to.

    Dana brings up the fact that Justin was saying that he wanted to leave. "What happened to that?" she asks. Justin talks in circles again. He says, of course he can't encourage Sluggo to use the veto, when he knows that he'll get booted. Justin surprised that Ali kept her word and didn't put him up. Jun walks in and they clam up.

    Dana starts whispering to Jun. Can't really make out what was said, other than both Nate and Justin were mentioned. Every time I think Dana has hit new levels of moronicy, she does something even more stupid. Such as discussing her strategy for saving her own [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] with Jun.

    Jun and Dana head inside, wherein Dana gives her a little more scoop about operation "screw you, save me." Apparently she and Justin have worked out this brilliant plan which resolves around Justin being such a good sell. Good idea Dana. Rely on the guy who can't string two words together when he's lying to convince anyone to do anything.

    Nathan and Slobert are bashing Dana. They would never date her in or out of the house. They don't know how Justin can put up with her. SloBert says he asked Justin if he would date Dana out of the house, and he said no way
    Heh.

    Slobert, Jun and Jee are outside talking trash about Dana...that Dana's friends will even hate her after this. Jun says that Dana broke one of the cardinal rules of Reality Television: scheming too much. She then goes on to list off all the other rules, such as not scheming enough, scheming too early, not scheming at all... Jun says she found these rules on a website, and that she was a big freak about reading up on these things before she entered the house. Robert and Jee agree that she did her homework before coming on BB. Then Jun goes on to say that there are websites where it's peoples' jobs to write recaps of the show, and they're FUNNY! And she wonders just what they're going to say about her and Dana. Then they start blathering about being in magazines (and whether or not TV Guide counts as a magazine - Jun says it does). Robert mentions that he's not photogenic. And with that, I'd like to award the Understatement of the Year award to... Robert! Thank yooou, thank yoooou.

    Jun tells Rob that Dana believes that she will be brought back at some point and that she's carrying the show and that she would be brought back to be the voice of the house. Jun says that Dana believes that she can't just leave because the ratings will drop.

    GROSS! Dana is on couch picking at her big toe. She puts her finger in her mouth, wets it (same one she used to dig with) and rubs her toe vigorously.

    The House according to Jack:
    Jack thinks that Robert is u-g-l-y and he ain't got no alibi (he's ugly! Yeah, yeah, he's ugly!). Erika agrees but says she didn't see that at the time. Jack says at the beginning he thought Jee was the Pillsbury Doughboy -- very pliable. Now he sees Jee as a danger and regrets voting Amanda out of the house.

    Weezie!
    Hamsters say that Dana walks like George Jefferson. Justin says he doesn't know who that is. Jee says "Even I know that stuff!"

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    More Weekend Tidbits

    Dana and Jun plotting in the BY...Dana talking big about what she would do on her way out the door "Do you think I'd get in trouble if I hit her on the way out?" Wassa matter Mantroll, all of a sudden you ain't got the bawls to do what the rest of em are too chickenshit to do??

    Jun advises against that particular course of action. But Mantroll refuses to leave without a bang, so the plan is now to rock em all on live TV and tell Alison to stop cheating on her boyfriend before they have a chance to edit it out. Oh please, yeah, say that with the nice little lemon squeezed face you had throughout all of last weeks evictions, it is such a pleasant sight. Once again I'm willing to bet she'll tawk the tawk but can't wawk the wawk.

    Gee and Jun in storage room. Alison sobbing. And dripping tears on Donny's picture.

    Gee's setting his temple up outside. He's got a table. He's preparing to honor his father. His father's picture is in the middle of the table. Gee's on his knees bowing to the picture. He has a tea cup and some chopsticks.

    I'm not sure I care for BB's juxtapositioning Gee's pain with Alison's. One is real, the other is. . . Alison mooning over some guy she's been cheating on.

    Jun's preparing stuff - food - for Gee to use. There is incense ready on the table outside. Alison has taken her unhappiness out to the living room where she is fetal positioned on the couch. Misery loves company and Alison wants everyone to enjoy her little one woman act. Sadness period is over. She's laughing and talking now.

    Jeez, Jee even makes communicating with the dead boring. Now, I'm not up on my Buddism, so if I happen to offend anyone with my description of this ceremony, I've succeeded despite myself.

    Jee is outside on the basketball court, the ancient location for all Buddist rituals. He's lit an incense candle, and in the smoke you can make out the vague outline of the Harlem Globetrotters.

    Two plates sit on the table, one with five oranges, one with five apples. Jee compares them to each other.

    Behind the incense, the apples, and the oranges, is a picture. I presume it's of Bobo the clown, who could juggle fruit like nobody's business.

    A bird crows, drawing Jee's attention. He looks up at it, probably wondering if he should tell it about his girlfriend and how hot she is.

    Switching to quad cam, I see that the dead have indeed risen from their graves. They're hideous, brain sucking zombies. No, wait, just Dana. Sorry. She's with the tool squad, minus Jee, who continues to honor his father outside. Hey Jee, know what would really honor dad? Not being such a suck. Or lighting Robert on fire. I hear the spirits go for that sort of thing.

    It's very strange to have this ceremony by Jee on 2 feeds with Dana checking out her [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] and spreading her legs for Justin on the other 2. Yes, it's Robert and Justin sitting in the bathroom chairs while Dana sits on a stool in front of Justin with her legs spread wide open. Lucky for me she's wearing pants.

    Jee says he feels much better now as Robert and Justin take the coffee table back in the house.

    Dana b---ching at Jun for leaving dishes outside and complaining about getting ants. Yes, lets b--ch at one of the few people who does anything around the house.

    Jee thanks everyone for being understanding. Jee tells them to eat the apples but no one wants them and he's going to throw them out.

    Gross, gross, gross!!!!! Justin is sitting in the bathroom chair and Dana is *shudder* straddling him.

    Justin admits that he told Rob that at the beginning he wasn't attracted to Dana at all. Dana is pissed awf and Justin does some fancy backpeddling and said he told Robert she was his type. So, Justin goes for self involved, psychopaths? Okay, I guess that explains Dana and Alison.

    Now Jun comes in and sits on Justin's lap. He calls her "big momma" and Jun gets offended. har!

    Now Ali and Justin talking. Dana sitting with her lemon face on because Justin is daring to speak to Ali. Daggers are shooting out of her eyes. Grow up, you are 28 years old. Get a grip. Dana just stalked out of the room.

    Stooges foresee voting out Nate and bringing Ali to their side to make themselves stonger.

    Stooges: Justin is sharing his "brilliant" plan with the other two dopes. He doesn't care about saving Dana, he just wants Nate out. He apparently thinks he can get Nate this week, and screw Alison and Dana the next two weeks. Robert once again points out the obvious fact that they can't really trust Alison to screw over her own alliance for them. Justin says he just wants to feel Alison out.

    Jee and Robert are sticking to their guns. They are not swayed by the brilliance of Justin's plan. They do think it's a good idea to start working Alison to turn on Nate now, but the veto is a no go. Among other things, neither is particularly interested in saving Dana. Jee doesn't like how she's campaigning against Jun.

    Justin is a moron. He just told Alison that if she's in the final two with someone from "our side" there's no way she can win. But if she's up there against someone from the other side, she'll have their votes. And he thinks this is a reason for her to *join* them. Somebody give this boy a cookie for such a brilliant argument.

    Dana's now b--ching that everyone wanted to be her friend when she had power, but now no one wants to talk to her now. Duh.

    Dana thinks Robert will use the veto and that Alison will put Nate up. Oh Dana, you poor, poor fool. She doesn't have an ally in the entire house, and yet she's talking about having FIVE people on her side.

    Dana can't believe that everyone talked to her while she was HOH, but now she's like a dead man walking. Ever notice that Dana refers to herself in the masculine an awful lot? No wonder Justin likes her.

    Alison is now letting Jack, Nate and Erika know that Jee and Robert both want Dana out. Erika goes into a brief rant about how much of a liar Robert is. Alison informs her that Robert just said the same thing about her.

    Alison now has an alliance with both the stooges and the O8. She's basically acting as a double agent, willing to sell out her alliance mates from either side to the other side once it gets power.

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    monday live feeds

    The ragging on Dana by the Stooges is now in full-force. They are in the LR and Dana walked through. Robert commented that she makes him sick. I guess turnabout is fair play.

    Erika/Nathan/Jack/Alison playing cards, marveling how Dana's three closest allies - the Stooges - are all turning against her. They all agree that they knew the Stooges were just using her. Erika tells them how she asked Justin specifically if he was going to vote out Dana, "and he said 'Uhhhhhhmmmm'

    Robert in the Orangey room talking with a semi-sleeping Jun. Telling her that Dana is going "f--king nuts" with the campaigning to Erika/Jack "right in front of our f--king faces." Apparently Dana is now accusing the Stooges of throwing the HOH competition last week because they knew that whomever else won it would get rid of Dana.

    Robert "can't f--king believe it and he'll tell her so to her f--king face". Just as soon as she comes out of the f--king Diary Room. Except she's not in the DR she's out baking her flesh in the backyard.

    Yep, Robert is full-on going off about Dana to Jun right now. It's hard to keep track of the conversation with all of the "f--kings", but Robert just told Jun that Dana is accusing the Stooges now of purposely throwing HOH comps to get her voted off. She's "lost her f--king mind", etc.

    No one likey Dana no more, although I'd say anyone barely did in the first place.

    Okay, I think what happened is that Jack pointed out to Dana that the Stooges each only got two balls in the HOH competition and she needed to take a look at that and read between the lines. And then Dana took the bait and flipped her lid.

    Wow. Dana just skulked over to the living room where Jee, Justin and Robert are playing their game, and she's just sitting there with a hangdog expression watching them, and not one of them is even acknowledging her presence, let alone actually talking to her.

    Robert just went into the kitchen and asked Jun what she's making.

    No one has still said a single word to Dana, and she's still sitting there, sulking, occasionally chewing her hand. Jeez, I almost (*almost*) feel bad that she's being so obviously shunned.

    Erika and Alison discussing Dana's insanity. Erika's qualified to discuss it because she is an intelligent sane adult. Alison is qualified because she is looking over the sanity fence from the other side.

    Tee hee hee. JustInane calls Dana about campaigning against Jun, and she emphatically screams that she isn't campaigning. Um, uh-huh. He's talking circles around telling her that she's "f--king delusional", which she clearly is.

    Jun walks by and Deinous says to her "come over here so I can kick your a** for thinking I was campaigning against you". Jun barely nods a response and walks away.

    JustInane says that none of them have anything against her and it's not like they don't like her or anything. She says again that she shouldn't have said anything, and he agrees. She asks why he didn't say anything and he said if he had she'd totally flip at him that he didn't apply to the game and doesn't know anything about it and blahblah, so of course he didn't say anything.

    Deinous says "I can't believe those people made it look like I'm against Jun". Deinous? If you ever took two moments to observe a conversation in which you participate, you'll notice that you don't let anyone get a word in edgewise, so don't be blaming anyone but yourself. "F--king Jack", she says, and JustInane tells her that she can't blame anyone.

    She starts bitching that they were all so tight and how this nomination totally ripped them apart. Um, that's really the point, isn't it? She says she took what Jack said personally and not in a game context. Haha! Now she admits that she's emotional, and that the rest of them aren't emotionally hysterical. She says she wants to "go f--king knock Erika out right now. What a c--t", she says. She says she knows she's done, and she'll enjoy their company for two more days. Asks them to vote her out with six votes, and says that she doesn't want to be there another day. Do we have "every time Dana contradicts herself" in the drinking game? Because if we do, I'm currently lying dead of alcohol poisoning.

    Jun's doing Justin's nails. When you are doing girly things, don't call someone else a girl, Justin. What? Getting a manicure and pedicure are not girly things? Dana doesn't get manicures or pedicures. I rest my case.

    Dana's wearing a robe and it fell open. She asks if Justin saw anything. Nothing of interest, dear. She makes a big deal of it but she sits down on the couch with nothing on but her robe. I don't think any of the men in the house are turned on by Dana or anything she might bare. You would always be afraid she would turn into a gorgon if you touched something.

    Alright all you pothead Hamster watchers. Is "hanging with Gary" what the kids are calling smoking dope these days? Because I heard Jee refer to it earlier.

    And if you are doing weed, perhaps you need to reevaluate your life. Because look at what it's done to Jee. And Dana. And Justin. "Just say no, yo."

    Speaking of just saying no, Robert is playing the "stab a knife between your outstretched fingers" game. Only he does about one stab every 15 seconds. I'm not sure what he's so afraid of. Can slime even be cut with a knife?

    Dana's giving her wish list for the sequester house. GeeYourHairSmellsTerrific is there like a Greek chorus saying of course they'll have that. Dana says, "I hope they'll let me go to the beach."

    GeeYourHairSmellsTerrific says, "Of course they'll let you go to the beach."

    Dana: "I hope there will be lots o food."

    GeeYourHairSmellsTerrific: "There will be steak and everything."

    "GEE. PLEASE GO TO THE DIARY ROOM."

    GeeYourHairSmellsTerrific: "what did I do?"

    Now it's just Dana and the slimy little weasel. He looks trapped like a rat in a trap. Justin, GeeYourHairSmellsTerrific and the slimy little weasel are tag teaming Dana. At least one of them has to be with her at all times to keep her from going postal. They know that when she's alone she starts to think. Ohmigod don't let her think!

    AHAH! I've caught Evil Arch Enemy trying to dispense his powers again. He (rat) is trying to talk Jun into him giving her a backrub but she declines. She must be on to him!

    They join Ali in the bathroom. Rat tells them they all need to get matching tatoos. The girls decline but Ali says he can give her a hickey. Alison is wayyyy under Slimeballs spell. She volunteers that Justin gave her 2 huge hickeys on her back for Thanksgiving. She wore a tube top to a party/club and heard someone say look at that girls hickeys! Ali's friend turned around and said they're not hickeys she has Lupus. Jun says she knows someone w/lupus and of course Robert who knows everyone/seen everything says he does too. Then they talk about what it is. Ali thinks it eats your skin. Dear, I believe you're referring to leprosy, which is not at all like lupus, symptoms or otherwise. Ali confirms my suspicions by referring to the bible.

    Jun is running her fingers through Roberts hair. Is she playing the game? Is she extremely horny? Is she out of her friggin'' mind? Time will tell.

    There is a mad rush to the bathroom sink. Jun realized what she was doing and is vomiting. ok, not really..she's still monkey grooming her new pet

    Now they're shredding Dana. Rob says she is like a man, not sexy at all and doesn't like the way she talks. (pot, kiss kettle on the cheek). More Dana bashing: she's not educated, chews with her
    mouth open etc. Man they're letting her have it.

    Jee tells Jun that Justin had an idea of Robert using the veto and convincing Alison to put up Nate instead. Jun is skeptical. She also points out that some of Alison's more recent actions and decisions favor Justin. Robert comes in, and Jun leaves, but not before she warns Jee to be careful of his allies, pointing out Dana's treatment at the hands of Justin and Robert. Jee just tells her that he would prefer not to question everything that happens in the house (idiot).

    My guess is, Jun will be siding the DS soon to take down Justin. She is already suspicious of the Justin-Alison alliance and with luck, she will break up the Stooges once Dana is gone.

    If You're an Asshat and you know it, Honk your nose (HONNNNNK)
    Robert has become the chairman of the sour grapes society. Pretty amazing, considering he hasn't been nominated, he holds veto power, and he hasn't been fatally maimed in his sleep, despite the fact that he is a raging asshat. He finds much to complain about, to whomever will listen. His topics include "Erica lies", "Erika only cares about getting more TV time" and he hates the new game BB gave them ("Big deal, so we're playing the world")

    Final Words
    Jee "When I get home, it will be a girlie-fest"
    Ali "When I go out with friends, and we don't meet any boys, we go to my house and spoon in a single bed."
    Jack "As much as Justin slobbers all over her (Dana) he wants to vote her out. The history of the game is if you hook up, you're doomed. You don't want to be sleeping with somebody."
    Jun "She (Dana) eats with her mouth open. I could never eat that way...my mother would smack me upside the head."
    Robert "This is women stuff...don't stress about it."
    Jee "You can't get involved in this female woman s--t. I just want this week to be over."
    Erika asks Dana if she has beat Justin yet (at Quoridor). Dana says no. Justin says "she never thinks a move ahead." True. True.

    Meet you at the Quoridor
    More speculation on the game. Someone says the hamsters were given the game last year too. I don't remember that. Current HG are excitedly speculate they will be playing the UK BB cast

    Super Duper Secret Alliance That Everybody Knows About
    Jun and Jee have a brief discussion. Jun tells Jee she knows that Jee honors the Stooge alliance more strongly than their super-secret alliance of two. Jee says yeah. Jun tells him "I assume, though, that it will be you and me when the numbers are there." Jee doesn't understand. Jee be dumb. Jee asks "what do you mean the numbers? Final four?" Jun tells him "five". Jee says ok.

    Stooges, Amigos, yada yada yada
    Jack, Erika and Nate have named the Stooges the "Three Amigos". They speculate who has the most power, and there is some disagreement as to whether it is Robert or Justin. Erika feels Robert is the smooth talker and manipulator and the holder of the power. Nate disagrees and says Justin holds the power. Nate says Robert is starting to believe Justin is nuts. Jack says Justin needs to go and "beat the s--t out of Robert. Nate swears he will not go to the Dark Side. His goal is to last longer than Robert and Justin.

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    More Tuesday Highlights

    Justin says it will be different for him in the house next week.

    Justin says it [dana] has all the qualities of a girlfriend with zero commitment. Justin says he doesn't "do" commitment. Robert says it was awesome that Dana helped Justin "pass the time."

    I feel ill.

    Robert says Justin got away without being a target because Dana was such a freak. Justin agrees that Dana helped them out, got them back into the game, and now she's gone.

    Jee comes into the bathroom, and starts to hem and haw. He says if they need to talk, he can leave. Robert says, No, Jee. We were just talking about putting you up when we win HoH next week. The Stooges have a big guffaw over that one with lots of "f--k you" and "f--k that s--t, man" thrown in for effect.

    Justin and Jee discuss how restaurant managing is "not a healthy lifestyle" and Jee says that all restaurant managers do is just sit around all day drinking. Yeah, cause that makes for a successful business, nimrod.

    Justin talks about his high school assistant (wrestling? football?) coach who owns a restaurant that makes a lot of money and he "smokes Gary all the time" and that they used to hang out with Gary together all the time after Justin graduated high school. Way to get him fired, Justin.

    Justin says that Allison was never his girlfriend, they just hooked up and he tried to not let her get too attached. Jee says it probably sucks for him since America thinks that Ally is Justin's ex and she really isn't. Saint Robert points out that it doesn't matter because man, chicks are gonna be all over them, man when they get out of there, man. Jee plots a cross-country trip for the three of them once he is finished with school. Justin and Slobert pronounce that idea "phat."

    They decide to get a motorhome and do some "Road Rules s--t." Yeah, that'll really get the chicks, the three of you crammed in your little travelling circus. I don't know about all you other ladies out there, but nothing attracts me more than a guy who lives with his buddies in a motorhome.

    Robert tells them all that they're going to need an agent when they get out of there, because they're going to make so much money and be so in demand. I gently point out to them the carcasses of all of the former hamster's showbiz careers that are strewn by the faux-pond in the FOTH, but they don't hear me. Oh well.

    Jun, btw, is eating, but it seems to be just celery. I guess that's an improvement. Jee tells Robert he has "a little crust on the outside of [his] left f--king eye." How can he even spot that in the midst of all the other crust that covers Robert?

    Dana ticks off the people she's beat playing Quoridor, and seems awfully proud to have outsmarted Justin and won. Dana honey? That's like being happy that you won a footrace against an amoeba.
    Last edited by Seonaid920; 08-05-2003 at 03:44 PM.

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    Wednesday Recap

    Ugh. Damn Alison to hell. Well, the noms should be pretty predictable this week. If Nathan wins the veto I will cancel these damn feeds.

    Oh and Honkbert is happy. This is almost definite proof that BB takes control of who they want to have HOH. Justin had a total advantage

    It didn't take Ali long, she's with the stooges in the bathroom. she's acting really chummy


    Jack is inthe kitchen grilling Ali on when exactly she may have given that elephant comment. He and Nate are really suspicious (duh) that the Justin fix was on. So am I. Ali claims she said it on the second day, and don't forget her stuffed elephant. Whatever.
    Master of the Obvious (Rob), MasterBait (Jee), and Master of This Friggin Domain (Your HoH) are gloating. Life by the balls.

    Justin "jokes" that he's going to put Jee up as a pawn. Je
    e "jokes" that if he does he'll never trust Justin again. Hilarity ensues.

    Has there ever been a recorded incident of the earth spontaneously opening up and swallowing a person? And what are the statistical odds that it could happen to three people at once? Just wonderin'

    Ali asks Jun what her nickname is, Aliwhora? Hee!
    They whisper. Jun says she did the dirty work getting rid of Dana. The whispering is too low. Ali says Jack is going for Justin. Jun looks disturbed by this and whispers back something about playing on both sides. They leave and join the others.

    Jack and Nate are alone. They both have to go to the veto. Jack says they want Nate out more than him. Jack says the competitions are not hard. They kick themselves about missing the questions and agree that the winning question was tailored for Justin.

    I hate Alison. She is burning her bridges, and for that reason, will never win this game. She's in the kitchen talking to Justin and Sluggo, telling these two how pissed Jack/Nate/Erika were that she didn't put up Justin. Selling out to these losers because it will get her farther in the game (which it will, but everyone will hate her later). Ughh. Now rehashing the competition. Telling Justin that that game was so made for him. They think the HOH comp was rigged so Justin would win. I'm happy for you, she says. I hate Justin and Sluggo, too, but I hope they can see through this crap. Justin saying that he's gonna put up Nate and Jack. Ali making a case for getting rid of Jack, because Nate is so stupid, that he can be used. Ali now saying that they can't get rid of all of the women. Now more talk of Nate being gay. Ali ripping on him. Did I mention that I hate her? I'm realizing that I hate most of these morons, and not in a fun-to-watch Danielle sort of way. Jack and Erika PLEASE find a way to make it to the end!

    Jee, Justin, Robert, and Jack talking in the LR about reality shows. Robert, of course, thinking BB4 is the BEST ever. No other show like it. He's thinks it's amazing that they're on 3 hours a week. "That's like a movie a week!" What an idiot. Yes, Robert, this experience will make you a huge star, just like Jamie from BB1, or Jeri from Survivor, or Joe Millionaire - except those people are arguably attractive.

    Agents are lining up right now, hoping to get a skinny, unattractive nose-picker with chronic sinus drainage. Yes, exactly what Hollywood has been missing.

    Jun putting away clothes. Boring talk. Talk about bouncers and clubs. Robert comes in. Says when they get out, he will be calling the clubs to say that he is from Big Brother, and saying how they will get the VIP treatment. He will tell them that they only want one waiter, and no other people "coming up in our s--t." *flabbergasted*

    Justin outs Alison as a salad tosser. Don't know what that means? you don't wanna know. what a pig.

    Jun's Fantabulous Wardrobe!
    Jun raves to Ali and Nate about how her wardrobe is absolutely fabulous. She says "this (BB clothes) is not even a dent of my wardrobe! I have a ton of clothes! My closet is awesome! It's color coordinated." (Yes....red clothes that are too small, blue clothes that are too small, purple clothes that are too small....) She tells them when she goes clubbing her wardrobe gets her in because she is so cute.

    More regrettable quotes
    Jee "I like it when girls get buzzed early...I had options when I was single."
    Justin "I thought Amanda was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, but she was clumsy as hell. It's a turn-off."
    Robert "I don't wait in line (at restaurants and clubs, etc.). I call ahead and make demands, and they do it because I have the balls to call them and tell them "we will spend money. We are from BB and we are bringing beautiful girls."
    Nate "We're on the outside looking in, Jack."
    Jack "On my tombstone it will read 'He never won HoH.'"
    Robert "We are the dream team. We are still here. We can be ask cocky as we wanna be. We are guaranteed 2 more weeks."

    Sign on the Dotted Line
    Ali talks about the day she signed her BB contract. Her dad told her if she needed to kiss somebody to get farther in the game, go ahead. She says Donny was really upset and started crying. Justin starts laughing and calls Donny a "[color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color]".

    Expiration Date? Now
    Ali tells Jee that Nate really isn't her friend anymore. She says he was, but "then he turned gay."

    Nate Bashing, Part 125
    Justin says Nate is head honcho in his town. Robert says "that s--t doesn't work out here." Justin says you can tell Nate has 3 sisters. He's got the emotions of a f--king girl. He's a girl in a guy's body. Ali says he's gay. Jee says Nate was flirting with him. Ali says she feels she was Nate's "decoy."

    I Love Jack
    Jack and Erika find out the Stooges call themselves "The Dream Team." Jack says "You know, you get so high, the fall is murderous." Erika mentions that Jee has been fairly tough in competition but Robert has been weak. Jack agrees and says "Robert is wrapped around Justin's balls."

    And this is News?
    Ali says she has to be the center of attention. She needs a guy who will put her on a pedestal. She says she and Donnie have had issues of trust, and he has cheated on her "five or six times." Ali thinks he is being unfaithful to her while she is in the BB house. This is a pedestal??

    Nate complains to Jun that the HoH contest is unfair because the exes are supposed to know more about the O8 contestants than the O8 know about each other. He then calls Alison "dramatic". He goes on to say that he doesn't know that Alison has a boyfriend the first week when he was HoH. Jun says that she's surprised that Justin and Dana got along without any sex because Justin told them that he only does the f--k-buddy with his women, never long-term relationships. Then they both marvel at how Erika actually stayed that long with Robert.

    Justin, the king of kiss-and-tell, tells his hangers-on soon after Nate and Jun's conversation about how he "almost slipped it in" on Dana. Apparently this week they have been getting really slowly past second base even in the hot tub when there are others around. Justin says that Jun probably knows because she can see Dana's face when Justin is... um, doing whatever he is doing. He adds that he has an erection in the hot tub whenever Dana is near. And here's the shocker: of Dana, he says, "Just my type. Feisty too." Then again, we're talking about a man who had Alison stick her tongue up his butt. They deserve each other.

    That's it. I feel ill writing about Manho and Alison. Someone please tell me everyone has somehow died in their sleep.

    ETA: Justin, after his discussion with the Stooges about Dana's feitsiness, lets slip that Alison told him that Jee and Jun have a secret alliance. Justin laughs because he doesn't believe it, however. He says that he knows Jee better than Jee knows himself. Jee nods and tells his first lie to Justin: he says that he and Jun has no alliance.
    Last edited by Seonaid920; 08-07-2003 at 10:51 AM.

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    Food Competition

    I tuned in expecting sweet slumbering hamsters and lo and behold, I found them all sitting in the living room playing Quori-bore and waiting on the food comp to start. Apparently Justin has taken a loooonnnggg time in the DR getting instructions. Wonder how many times they had to tell him before he "got it".
    Now Justin comes out of the DR dressed in a pink chef's shirt, a tall white chef hat, and carrying a big whisk - Rules for the cooking school: Split into teams representing the 3 meals of the day.

    Erika and Jack are up first - Erika races to put on a chef's jacket and hat, and Jack has to get into the "fruit suit" basically a unitard and a strawberry hat.

    Erika has to reveal a recipe and they have to go get the ingredients and then put them in a huge cereal bowl. Jack looks so funny in his suit and he keeps wiggling his butt around.

    They are dumping gallon after gallon of milk into the bowl. They have 10 minutes to complete the entire competition. Justin is able to help and they are still dumping milk in the bowl. Jack is the strawberry to finish off the bowl of cereal.

    Lunch is next, Robert and Jee. Robert is wearing a hot dog suit that makes him look like a giant penis (well, even more of a giant penis than he is). Jee's frantically running to put big foam french fries on a plate. Everyone laughing hysterically at Robert in the penis suit. Jee's running frantically to slop something on Robert (ketchup or mustard) and spreading it with a mop. Robert is laying in a gigantic hot dog bun.

    Nate has to get in a chicken suit. It's a little difficult to get into. They have 5 minutes left. The chicken suit is a feathered shorts thing and a feathered wig.

    Nate is on a giant tortilla and he just got onions dumped on him and now comes the guacamole. Next comes the salsa. Justin is yelling directions throughout the whole comp. Sour cream is next and Justin is yelling "get him in the face". Yes, Justin white creamy stuff hitting Nate in the face is your biggest fantasy. Ali rolls up the tortilla and she's done.

    Desserts next. Jun gets in a bananna suit and Justin runs to get ice cream.

    Erika yells to BB to stop because we have a REALLY BAD INJURY. BB voice mumbles and Erika yells that Alison's ring is IN HER FINGER. What? BB says stop

    Why the heck do these idiots wear jewelry during these competitions? Don't they remember the Amy ring in the pie fiasco?

    Jun is laying down and getting chocolate sauce dumped on her. She is the banana in a banana split. Carmel is next. Now they are squirting whipped cream on her and Jun's yelling "yes, YES!".

    Ali is there yelling, so she must be okay. Drama queen. Guess the serious injury must not have been that serious.

    They throw sprinkles on Jun. And the comp is over. They are finding out what they get. Jun is rubbing herself all over Nathan. She is covered from head to toe in whipped cream. They are actually all having a really good time with this comp.

    They have won 3 days of fresh made to order subs & sandwiches from Subway.

    Brief shot of dickhead, er Rob, picking his nose.
    Jee outside to Robert: We did a really good job!
    Hamsters go inside to see if Subway there yet. Observe how they're table is smaller and there are only 8 chairs

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    Thursday Morning

    Jack & Erika
    They have basically admitted to throwing the HOH without saying the words - how it benefits them not to have it since it hasn't affected them really. They'll let others do their dirty work evicting Ali & Nate. Erika talks about "being due" to win. Justin was and now they are (yeah, if they don't throw it again).


    Jack doesn't want to show their hand right now with Ali. "Let's let herself dig a bigger hole. Because I know damn well they want to take her out".
    Erika wants them to take her out next week. But the big question is whether they want Justin out before her.
    Jack thinks it would be interesting to nom Ali & Justin side by side.
    Jack: if Ali gets HOH next week, she'd be foolish not to consider Justin.
    They wonder how deep their deal is - Erika thinks a 1 wk deal.
    E thinks Ali would probably put up Jun.

    Justine and Nathan in the HOH with Jun. Justin reveals that Alison has had a nose job because hers was all f--cked up.
    Justin says Alison's family is crazy and that he didn't want to get close to any of them but they luh-huh-huved wrestling, so he was a god to them. A midget god, rather.

    More about wrasslin'. I just don't care.
    Jun and Mo are actually on the bed, and Justin is curled up in a chair, catlike. The biggest mistake he ever made was going over to Alison's house for New Year's. Because that made it seem like he actually gave a damn about Alison on a personal level beyond just her being a f--k buddy.

    Nate says the stooges are guaranteed another week by not putting him up there. He says he won't go after them if they don't put him up.

    Nate the great prognosticator thinks that Jack & Erika are DUE just like he predicted Justin was due.

    Jun overheard Alison telling Nathan to just trust her, just trust her, over and over.

    Jun says that Alison thinks she can convince anyone to take her off the block. Justin asks if Jun thinks Alison is lying to Nathan. Jun says that Alison is campaigning to get Jack out this week instead of Nathan because she's promised Nathan she will do that.

    Robert says there's no question - Nathan needs to leave this week. There's no talking about it. Stick to what they've planned. Robert: "You know it's bulls--t that he wouldn't put us up next week." Robert says that nothing Nathan said made sense. I agree. Nathan is on crack.

    the Stooges are going to lie to Erika about something in order to catch her in a lie and then use the fact that she lied against her to their advantage.


    No, that's not hypocritical at all! Not at all! Stupid morons.


    Justin sez that nominations are in about three hours.


    Justin: "It's looking real good that we'll be the final three. We're close."

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


    ETA: According to the Stooges, the order of evictions should be Nathan, Jack, then an Alison/Erika nomination, then whoever is left vs. Jun, then the three of them are last jerks standing.

    Now Jee and Justin are talking about getting Alison out after Nathan, because even though Jerika are a strong alliance of two, they don't win competitions and ALISON does.

  15. #15
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    Jul 2003
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    160

    SPOILER - Nominations

    Nate and Jack were nominated

    Justin says he likes Jack, and would hang out with Nate "once a month." I'm presuming that once a month would be late at night on a weekend, when Justin is feeling drunk, a little lonely, with a new pack of Chips a'Hoy at his place

    Robert says he would never hang out with Nate because he's too racist. Plus he doesn't think they have anything in common. Justin says Nate can't be all that bad because he played football, so he had to be around a lot of "them."

    Jun comes in to water the HOH plants. The stooges gloat that "they got them good." Jun reports that Nate and Jack weren't fond of being called liars. The stooges are surprised at this, because "they are!"

    Jee is not going to try and win the veto. Justin looks at Jee rather incredulously, saying that he'd prefer a stooge to have the veto. Now they count votes, and determine that who they say goes, goes. Justin feels bad for Jack because he's up again. Robert brings up "that guy Will." Stop taking his name in vain, jackass!

    Jee can't believe they played a joke on him during the ceremony. Apparently the joke was that Jee's key was last. Wow, these guys are whacky. Apparently Robert said something to Jee before hand though that kept Jee from totally freaking out. Robert says he would have freaked if his key wasn't first. Jee calls Justin a bastard. Will somebody please light these morons on fire while they're all together?

    Jun comes back in to report on Erika and Alison. And by report, I mean b--ch about them. I can't tell if Jun is really this spiteful, or if part of her strategy is to simply make everyone else seem completely unlikeable by exagerating everything they do in the worst possible way. If it's strategy it's not a bad one, because Dana and the idiot trio totally fall for it every time.

    Jun and Alison out on the couch scheming away. Jun says she'll vote whatever way the stooges want, which probably means Nate. Alison agrees, then promptly moves to her anti-Jack campaign, noting how sneaky he is and that he definitely threw that HOH comp. Give it up Alison. Jun is the one person you have no hope of snowing. Jun is all about bowing before those in power, and no argument is going to get her to give that up. Her stubborness is also verified by the fact that she continues to wear that black mesh getup, despite the fact that every time she does the universe cries.

    At various times today, Ali mutters something like "this sucks". Then somebody asks her what's wrong and she looks sad and mumbles something like "it's so boring". None of these morons have remembered that this is her birthday. Doesn't look like she's gonna tell them either. It's not like she hasn't mentioned it 400 times in the last 2 days.

    Rob is running his mouth off again. They're talking about DUI's. Rob b--ches there aren't enough cabs in LA so if you drive to a pub then pull out you "get your [color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color][color=red]*[/color] arrested"

    BUT

    as we all know if you've got any kind of problem, ask Rob. Yessiree, he's got all the answers. He goes on to tell them "he knows" how to get out of a DUI. He knows exactly what to say. Hell, he even told 3 of his buddies exactly what to say, they did, and you guessed it. They got away.

    These peoples grooming habits amaze me. Justin in front of pore cam squirts some lotion? in his hands. He proceeds to rub down his neck, shoulders, hair???, face, then hair again. What product could you possibly use on your skin AND hair?

    As dumbfounded I am by this, yet another mystery assaults me. Jun takes over the porecam and curls her eyelashes. It's almost bedtime for crying out loud.

    According to Ali: Justin's bed has black velvet steps leading up to it and there's a stolen lion statue next to it. He has Ali's calendar up in his house. He also has a calendar of naked guys, but with his own face pasted over the model's.

    Ali goes on and on ad nauseam about Justin. She tells Jee that she knew all the girls Justin had sex with before her. Jee asks if Justin was wild in bed. Ali said nope, kinda boring. She is the wild and kinky one. She said she was at a party at Justin's house and saw a piece of paper that said "World's Dirtiest Dude." She said there were two names, and the third was Justins. She said she thought to herself "I'm about to have sex with the worlds 3rd dirtiest dude."

    Veto competition scheduled for 10 am California time today (Friday)

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