Okay, this has gotten my competitive juices going, though Joe set an awfully high standard.
1. Is so-and-so gay?
All skaters are gay, except the ones who say they are gay. They're straight. In any case, they're all getting makeovers by the "Queer Eye" Fab Five. Elvis Stojko will be baking a quiche.
2. Did Tonya know?
No, but I did. In fact, I was the ringleader of the whole deal, not Jeff Gilooly. Remember, you heard it here first.
3. Why did Michelle REALLY leave Frank?
Frank got pregnant.
4. Is Irina pregnant?
Yes, has been since '96.