Big, burning skating rumors

[Rgirl]

Okay, this has gotten my competitive juices going, though Joe set an awfully high standard.

1. Is so-and-so gay?
All skaters are gay, except the ones who say they are gay. They're straight. In any case, they're all getting makeovers by the "Queer Eye" Fab Five. Elvis Stojko will be baking a quiche.

2. Did Tonya know?
No, but I did. In fact, I was the ringleader of the whole deal, not Jeff Gilooly. Remember, you heard it here first.

3. Why did Michelle REALLY leave Frank?
Frank got pregnant.

4. Is Irina pregnant?
Yes, has been since '96.

Rgirl

[Figureskates]

1) All skaters are gay, if they are not gay, they are at least very happy. It is amazing how the connotation of a word has changed in 30 years.

2) I don't think Tonya Harding knows what she had for breakfast this morning.

3) Michelle left Frank because she has a phobia about white hair.

4) Irina is not pregnant but she is being cloned 24 times to form a synchro team.

[Kara Bear]

Rgirl, you win!