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Thread: Queer Eye for the Competitive Skater

  1. #1
    Salchows and Shimmies!!!
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    Queer Eye for the Competitive Skater

    DJStu actually gave me this idea with his post on the confessions "thread." What IF they QEFSG gents were able to work with figure skaters? What would you suggest they change?

    Plushy: DITCH the mullet!!! A buzz cut, a braid, a nicely done shag, anything but the mullet!!! And how about some nice, tailored, PLAINER costumes in colors found in nature?

    Michelle: A skating dress with sleeves, maybe, just once in while? You have the loveliest arms and neck, but just once, something that doesn't look like a decorated swimsuit with a skirt.

    Sasha: Repeat after me, NO V-NECKLINES!!! You are so gorgeous, buts let not emphasize what isn't there. And there is music outside of the over-skated classics...

    Surya: This is called a skirt. It covers the ENTIRE hip and buns area. Another cry for colors found in nature, too.

    Irina: This is a skirt with an even, one length hemline. Give it a try. See "Sasha" regarding overused music.

    Michael Weiss: Skating pants do not have to be tourniquets. You are not Tom Jones.

    Timmy: One book on your head for posture lessons to stand up straight.

    AP: (Actually AP's mother): Step away from the bedazzler, ma'am. That's an order.

    OK, your turn!!!!

  2. #2
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    That was a fun post. Maybe Plushy's girl likes the mullet style. just a thought:D

  3. #3
    Defender of over-the-hill decrepit skaters
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    Re: Queer Eye for the Competitive Skater

    Originally posted by Yazmeen
    Surya: This is called a skirt. It covers the ENTIRE hip and buns area. Another cry for colors found in nature, too.
    ROTFL!!!! That's the one thing about Surya that always bothered me when she was skating competitively. Any more gold, silver, bronze, or neon lame complete with sequins and rhinestones and we'd have to make sure everyone wore sunglasses during her performance. I also felt sorry for the camera crew during broadcasts...the ice being so bright and her being so dark and then wearing eye-popping dresses wreaks all kind of hell on the monitors. I'm sure the engineers were continually changing the shading on the cameras.

  4. #4
    Salchows and Shimmies!!!
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    You ought to see what its like to be the videotaper at a bellydance event!!! You can't autofocus the camera because its goes nuts with all the beads and sparkles--you have to diligently man it to get a good video. Which is usually what Surya's skirts consist of, by the way, beads, sparkles and fringe (OH MY!!!)

    I thought of more:

    Todd Eldredge: There's more to life and costuming than drapey, soft shirts.

    Elvis: Honest. Really. You won't look feminine in a softer style or using gentler music. Really. We mean it. Nobody's gonna mix you up with Sasha or Michelle. Really.

    Tara Lipinski: You have a belly button. We know that. Thanks for letting us know. Now, on and off the ice could you COVER IT UP once in a while?!!!!

  5. #5
    Custom Title IDLERACER's Avatar
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    [FONT=century gothic][COLOR=sienna][SIZE=5]I am a heterosexual male, and therfore, will refrain from making any contributions to this thread.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

  6. #6
    Custom Title Joesitz's Avatar
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    Idle - you don't have to make a grand announcement. I think all of us would think you have gender security.

    Joe

  7. #7
    ~ Evgeni's Sex Bomb ~
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    While I love Evgeni's hair....I am intrigued by the suggestion of Evgeni with
    a shag

    Can I, as a heterosexual woman, make a suggestion?

    Alexander Abt - you need to wear MORE mesh....

    Laura

  8. #8
    Custom Woman
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    Yazmeen, you are a scream! Carson would be proud.

    Yeah, to Elvis: Repeat after me -- couture! And I'd say he needs some styling products for his hair and definitely needs a lesson in shaving.

    That's all I got. Yazmeen, you could make the Fab Five the Fab Six.
    Rgirl

  9. #9
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    Yeah, to Elvis: Repeat after me -- couture! And I'd say he needs some styling products for his hair and definitely needs a lesson in shaving.



    ITA. He always has a terrible case of razor burn. And that hair . . . :\

  10. #10
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    My #1 fashion suggestion for Elvis would be to cut his hair back to the style he wore during the 1998 Olympics. That was the only major change Elvis made to his hair since 1988 and I thought he looked much better (and a little taller) with shorter hair. And if Elvis does decide to get a haircut, I'd like him to invite Evgeny along for the trip.

    I'd also like to see Tara dye her hair back to its natural color again (the same color her hair was back when she first started competing at 13/14 years old). I think she would look more natural and mature looking as a brunette.

    I'd like to see Elena Sokolova grow her hair back to the length she wore it back in 1998: the Dorothy Hamill-style cut is not a good look for her, IMO.

  11. #11
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    Exclamation



    Too Ralph Malph for comfort!

  12. #12
    Old school Tim fan
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    What a great thread! I'm ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!

  13. #13
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    Thumbs down



    [size=4][color=deeppink]Okay, this look doesn't work for me, Tif![/color][/size]

  14. #14
    Go Figure!
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    To a lot of skaters, both male and female...smile will ya?

    This is not:

    1) Root Canal work

    2) An IRS audit

    3) a war crimes trial

    4) a Preparation-H commercial

    This is figure skating, it is suppose to be fun, look like you are having fun.

  15. #15
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    Question

    [color=deeppink]Idle, I don't understand your post!!![/color]

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