Queer Eye for the Competitive Skater | Golden Skate

Queer Eye for the Competitive Skater

Yazmeen

On the Ice
Joined
Jul 29, 2003
DJStu actually gave me this idea with his post on the confessions "thread." What IF they QEFSG gents were able to work with figure skaters? What would you suggest they change?

Plushy: DITCH the mullet!!! A buzz cut, a braid, a nicely done shag, anything but the mullet!!! And how about some nice, tailored, PLAINER costumes in colors found in nature?

Michelle: A skating dress with sleeves, maybe, just once in while? You have the loveliest arms and neck, but just once, something that doesn't look like a decorated swimsuit with a skirt.

Sasha: Repeat after me, NO V-NECKLINES!!! You are so gorgeous, buts let not emphasize what isn't there. And there is music outside of the over-skated classics...

Surya: This is called a skirt. It covers the ENTIRE hip and buns area. Another cry for colors found in nature, too.

Irina: This is a skirt with an even, one length hemline. Give it a try. See "Sasha" regarding overused music.

Michael Weiss: Skating pants do not have to be tourniquets. You are not Tom Jones.

Timmy: One book on your head for posture lessons to stand up straight.

AP: (Actually AP's mother): Step away from the bedazzler, ma'am. That's an order.

OK, your turn!!!! :p
 

curious

Final Flight
Joined
Aug 15, 2003
That was a fun post. Maybe Plushy's girl likes the mullet style. just a thought:D
 

maxell1313

Rinkside
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
Yazmeen said:
Surya: This is called a skirt. It covers the ENTIRE hip and buns area. Another cry for colors found in nature, too.

ROTFL!!!! That's the one thing about Surya that always bothered me when she was skating competitively. Any more gold, silver, bronze, or neon lame complete with sequins and rhinestones and we'd have to make sure everyone wore sunglasses during her performance. I also felt sorry for the camera crew during broadcasts...the ice being so bright and her being so dark and then wearing eye-popping dresses wreaks all kind of hell on the monitors. I'm sure the engineers were continually changing the shading on the cameras.
 

Yazmeen

On the Ice
Joined
Jul 29, 2003
You ought to see what its like to be the videotaper at a bellydance event!!! You can't autofocus the camera because its goes nuts with all the beads and sparkles--you have to diligently man it to get a good video. Which is usually what Surya's skirts consist of, by the way, beads, sparkles and fringe (OH MY!!!)

I thought of more:

Todd Eldredge: There's more to life and costuming than drapey, soft shirts.

Elvis: Honest. Really. You won't look feminine in a softer style or using gentler music. Really. We mean it. Nobody's gonna mix you up with Sasha or Michelle. Really.

Tara Lipinski: You have a belly button. We know that. Thanks for letting us know. Now, on and off the ice could you COVER IT UP once in a while?!!!!
 

IDLERACER

Medalist
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
I am a heterosexual male, and therfore, will refrain from making any contributions to this thread.
 
Joined
Jul 11, 2003
Idle - you don't have to make a grand announcement. I think all of us would think you have gender security.:)

Joe
 

PrincessLeppard

~ Evgeni's Sex Bomb ~
Final Flight
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
While I love Evgeni's hair....I am intrigued by the suggestion of Evgeni with
a shag;)

Can I, as a heterosexual woman, make a suggestion?

Alexander Abt - you need to wear MORE mesh....:love:

Laura:)
 
Joined
Aug 3, 2003
Yazmeen, you are a scream! Carson would be proud.

Yeah, to Elvis: Repeat after me -- couture! And I'd say he needs some styling products for his hair and definitely needs a lesson in shaving.

That's all I got. Yazmeen, you could make the Fab Five the Fab Six.
Rgirl
 

Lynn226

On the Ice
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
Yeah, to Elvis: Repeat after me -- couture! And I'd say he needs some styling products for his hair and definitely needs a lesson in shaving.

:laugh:

ITA. He always has a terrible case of razor burn. And that hair . . . :\
 

astimegoesby

On the Ice
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
My #1 fashion suggestion for Elvis would be to cut his hair back to the style he wore during the 1998 Olympics. That was the only major change Elvis made to his hair since 1988 and I thought he looked much better (and a little taller) with shorter hair. And if Elvis does decide to get a haircut, I'd like him to invite Evgeny along for the trip. :)

I'd also like to see Tara dye her hair back to its natural color again (the same color her hair was back when she first started competing at 13/14 years old). I think she would look more natural and mature looking as a brunette. :)

I'd like to see Elena Sokolova grow her hair back to the length she wore it back in 1998: the Dorothy Hamill-style cut is not a good look for her, IMO.
 

Figureskates

On the Ice
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
To a lot of skaters, both male and female...smile will ya?

This is not:

1) Root Canal work

2) An IRS audit

3) a war crimes trial

4) a Preparation-H commercial

This is figure skating, it is suppose to be fun, look like you are having fun.
 

IDLERACER

Medalist
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
If you look back at all the posts, you'll find that this thread is completely misnamed. It should be called "Straight Women Behaving Like Joan Rivers." I don't know the first thing about high fashion, and I don't care. I'm a T-Shirt & Jeans kind of guy.
 

berthes ghost

Final Flight
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Two people in desperate need of make-overs:

1. Viktoria Vochkova. She's so beautiful, yet nothing about her performances stand out. Costumes are hideous and the choreography, if there is any, is always totally forgettable. She needs to get herself to Canada pronto for a make-over ala Lulu (Toller), Boitano (Sandra) , MK (Lori) and/or Shen&Zao (LeeAnn). Somebody needs to send a jolt of electricty thru this girl's package, because her career is in ICU.

2. Todd Eldridge. He really needs to understand that one doesn't have to use war themed blockbuster movie soundtracks to look powerful, they're really just noise. He could try Mars from the Planets, or even the shipwreck music from Scherezade. There are plenty of tense pieces without resorting to boxoffice pulp. As for costumes: I'd say keep it simple stupid. Classic clean lines, drop the drapery bit.
 
Joined
Jun 21, 2003
Realtorgal, I guess I'm just a sucker for pretty in pink. I liked both of the pictures you posted!:laugh:

Mathman
 

maxell1313

Rinkside
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
I think I'd select Ludmilla Nelidina as the woman most in need of a makeover. I realize she's at somewhat of a disadvantage with the name Ludmilla, but maybe she could just shorten it to Milla? Worked for Milla Jovovitch the model! (Whose name I've mangled, I'm sure.)

And the hair...dear Lord the hair. I know it's football season, but unless she's planning on landing on her head, there's no need to keep the helmet hair. She won't even need to spend a fortune, we could take her to the mall and have her hair done by Regis Salon or Fantastiks or something.

If all else fails, we'll drop her off at the nearest high school. I'm sure most of the girls there would be more than happy to do a makeover. Most of them live for that sort of thing. :p
 
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