Old Lady Speeding

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

I'm going to remember that one, if I ever get pulled over!

Mathman

Toni--Badda BING! 20 points or whatever the maximum was on that "Are You Funny?" test. That is a keeper.
Rgirl

thank you! Thank you! You're a wonderful audience... I'm here all weekend

*runs away from rotten fruit being thrown at her*

That was Great! I'm going to e-mail to my mom......42

I will have to rememeber that one for when I am old.

Haha....that was really cute. I'll have to show that one to my Mom. She loves jokes like that.

LOL Toni!!!! Thank for posting that!

I needed a good laugh! Thank you very much Toni.

I sent it to my mother... Hope it doesn't give her any ideas!

I also sent it to my business partner. She said it was too bad I didn't send it to her last week before she got a ticket!

I'm glad you all enjoy it LOL

I'll try and find at least one every week... but it's hard as most of them just circle the net