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Thread: Tombstones

  1. #1
    and... World Peace! Tonichelle's Avatar
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    Tombstones

    These are actual tombstones

    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942

    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a London, England cemetery:
    Dec. 8, 1767

    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

    Anna Wallace:
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

    Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon me
    For not rising
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

    Here lays The Kid.
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger
    But slow on the draw.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    A lawyer's epitaph in England:

    Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

    Reader, if cash thou art
    In want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep;
    And thou Wilt! t find a Penny.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

    On the 22nd of June,
    Jonathan Fiddle
    Went out of tune.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont

    Here lies the body of our Anna -
    Done to death by a banana.
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God.
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    In a cemetery in England:

    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, you soon will be.
    Prepare yourself and follow me.

    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent
    Until I know which way you went
    ^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^
    From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:

    Here lies Lester Moore
    One slug from a 44
    No Les
    No Moore

  2. #2
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    Some of these people had a great twisted sense of humor. :D

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