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Thread: The Warning Signs of Insanity...

  1. #1
    I like pie. Tonichelle's Avatar
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    The Warning Signs of Insanity...

    The Warning Signs of Insanity...

    Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

    You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

    You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.

    You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.

    You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

    Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

    People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

    Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

    You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

    You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

    Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

    You collect dead windowsill flies.

    Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"

    You like cats. Especially with mayo.

    You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island because they weren't rescued.

    You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

    You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

    Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

    Melba toast excites you.

    When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him because "the napkins have ears."

    You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

    You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

    You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.

    You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity.

    People offer you help, but you interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

    You keep thinking this is the year for the Red Sox.

    You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only Hindi.

    You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them.

    The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.

    You like reading lists like this.

  2. #2
    Arm Chair Skate Fan show 42's Avatar
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    Hey Toni, if a person agrees with, oh, let's say, five from the list, does that mean their just "partially" nuts? 42

  3. #3
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    Re: The Warning Signs of Insanity...

    Originally posted by Tonichelle
    You keep thinking this is the year for the Red Sox.
    Uh oh. This one has my name all over it. :\

  4. #4
    Extinction is Forever 4dogknight's Avatar
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    What I want to know is - Who's been spying on me!

    4dk

    Seriously though, if only half of the criteria applies, are you then considered 'half a bubble off'?

  5. #5
    Sal-Kowabunga!
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    Now Toni, I don't think you can classify me as crazy for those jogs in the bathroom. I'm only trying to keep time with the wobbly exhaust fan in the apt. below!

    And according to Shirley Rousseau Murphy, cats could like mayo. It's mustard they object to!

    Tentacles don't bother me. And if someone wants to avoid me when I howl, I just assume it is their problem!

  6. #6
    I like pie. Tonichelle's Avatar
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    you all are too much

  7. #7
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    Ha! You guys are just mad at the voices because they only talk to me.

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