As a Korean and Yu-Na fan (but bigger Mao fan- gasp! Heh), I just wanted to add my 2 cents. When I was younger, my Korean friends and I would complain about our "typical Korean parents". We were pushed to excel in academics. If I brought home a B, screaming would ensue. I remember thinking that for my mom, it was never encouragement, per se- if I got a bad grade, it was absolutely never, "it's okay- you can do better next time". It was disappointment and anger instead, and that frustrated me for a long time. It was only when I got older that I realized that, if not for my mom, I would never be where I was now. I would never have gotten in an Ivy League college if not for the way she raised me and stressed the importance of academics. I'm a lazy sort, and sometimes (well, most of the time, really), just working for myself is not enough. If I know that someone will be disappointed and angry if I don't do well, I step it up. And now, I've realized, I do it for myself, but wouldn't have learned to do that if not for my mom. That's not to say that other parenting styles are ineffective, of course, just that for me personally, it brought out the best in me. And, as I realized later, it was all for my well-being, so that I could be happy in the future.
I do agree that these kinds of moms are not just Asian, and that they come from all different cultures. But there's something I learned this past year that distinguishes Asian parents. There are different kinds of parenting, one of them called authoritarian, in which the parent is dominating, demands obedience from the child, and creates highly structured rules. In Western cultures, this kind of parenting has negative effects on the child- he or she is withdrawn, lacks intellectual curiosity, and is socially incompetent. But a study actually found that Asian parents, while they score high on the authoritarian scale in Western tests, actually have a different kind of authoritarian parenting- it has more of a focus on TRAINING, which is very different. This kind of parenting actually has no negative effects on the child whatsoever. So I do think there are cultural differences here that the article doesn't touch on that would make these moms seem less...obsessive and controlling and more like instilling a sense of training and discipline. And that's not to say that only training and discipline are instilled, either- in addition to that, my parents made sure that my brother and I were taught about morality, about happiness, about love, about kindness and compassion and selflessness, and about laughter. It's just about bringing the best out of your child that you can. With that said, am I going to be the same way with my children? Heck no. But it worked for me, and I understand why now.
Sorry I wrote a novel- this topic is just something I've been thinking about my entire life. In terms of Yu-Na, I do believe she would have quit a long time ago if not for her mom. I don't know her, so I don't know what would make her happy in the end, but from what I've seen, she seems like a fighter. And having been so talented, and so close to being the top of the world in skating, I think she'd always have regretted not continuing had she stopped. I'm not defending her mom, especially if she really did skip her other daughter's graduation. I'm just saying that I understand it. Also, maybe I'm just being naive, but I really want to believe this quote I read somewhere that said that Yu-Na's mom always felt badly for Mao and her mom when Yu-Na won. She felt almost embarrassed that Yu-Na was taking away something that Mao wanted. Is that true full-fledged stage mom behavior? Can we even use those terms in her case? I'm just not sure we can judge Yu-Na's mom based on the limited information we have about her. But maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe her mom really is that bad, and Yu-Na is miserable. But there's something about her freedom and expression across the ice that makes me doubt that she hates skating so much. But I'm not going to pretend I know her or her mom. I just hope she enjoys the next year as much as she can- isn't she quitting no matter what after the Olympics?
I do agree that these kinds of moms are not just Asian, and that they come from all different cultures. But there's something I learned this past year that distinguishes Asian parents. There are different kinds of parenting, one of them called authoritarian, in which the parent is dominating, demands obedience from the child, and creates highly structured rules. In Western cultures, this kind of parenting has negative effects on the child- he or she is withdrawn, lacks intellectual curiosity, and is socially incompetent. But a study actually found that Asian parents, while they score high on the authoritarian scale in Western tests, actually have a different kind of authoritarian parenting- it has more of a focus on TRAINING, which is very different. This kind of parenting actually has no negative effects on the child whatsoever. So I do think there are cultural differences here that the article doesn't touch on that would make these moms seem less...obsessive and controlling and more like instilling a sense of training and discipline. And that's not to say that only training and discipline are instilled, either- in addition to that, my parents made sure that my brother and I were taught about morality, about happiness, about love, about kindness and compassion and selflessness, and about laughter. It's just about bringing the best out of your child that you can. With that said, am I going to be the same way with my children? Heck no. But it worked for me, and I understand why now.
Sorry I wrote a novel- this topic is just something I've been thinking about my entire life. In terms of Yu-Na, I do believe she would have quit a long time ago if not for her mom. I don't know her, so I don't know what would make her happy in the end, but from what I've seen, she seems like a fighter. And having been so talented, and so close to being the top of the world in skating, I think she'd always have regretted not continuing had she stopped. I'm not defending her mom, especially if she really did skip her other daughter's graduation. I'm just saying that I understand it. Also, maybe I'm just being naive, but I really want to believe this quote I read somewhere that said that Yu-Na's mom always felt badly for Mao and her mom when Yu-Na won. She felt almost embarrassed that Yu-Na was taking away something that Mao wanted. Is that true full-fledged stage mom behavior? Can we even use those terms in her case? I'm just not sure we can judge Yu-Na's mom based on the limited information we have about her. But maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe her mom really is that bad, and Yu-Na is miserable. But there's something about her freedom and expression across the ice that makes me doubt that she hates skating so much. But I'm not going to pretend I know her or her mom. I just hope she enjoys the next year as much as she can- isn't she quitting no matter what after the Olympics?
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As a child who was brought up chained to a piano I will never forget how I felt being forced to practice scales until my fingers and wrists went numb.To this day I sometimes still hear the laughter of the other children in my neighborhood who were playing (to add insult to injury - my parent's house had a very large backyard where my brother and the neighborhood kids used to play all types of sports and games. I could hear them while I was inside practicing). 
