Jenny Kirk: Why Skaters Aren't Friends

[sashaisgreat]

I think Jenny is spot on especially when it comes to the girls (pairs, dance, singles etc.) It is hard enough for girls to truely be friends after puberty sets in but add competition and it all goes out the window!

[Alicja]

It is hard enough for girls to truely be friends after puberty sets in but add competition and it all goes out the window!

[sashaisgreat]

If you have set foot in a middle or high school lately, girls can be very mean to each other. Usually the rivalry/competition over boys gets in the way. Guys seem to fare better. They get their frustrations out on the football, basketball, baseball field or some other physical way. Girls talk behind each others backs and can be very mean to each other. If you add to that individual competition such as skating, it's almost impossible to make TRUE friends. When I walk into a rink, I can immediately tell who the most talented skaters are. They are the ones sitting alone or with an older adult. I have seen Michelle, Sasha and Tanith sitting alone at rinks while other's mingled and talked. It's lonely at the top.

[Bennett]

haha. Even in local rinks that I went to when I was younger, I could recall many examples of local star skaters who were also famous for their mannerism like a little princess (opps, not like the Sara Crewe in the children's novel , but the ones people have to count the number of voluntary "hello's" they say to others). I think that the sport feeds that kind of ego. We just let them be as they wanted.
But I once heard Machiko Yamada, Mao's and Midori's former coach, says in an interview that she would rather want her students to be likable and place lower, rather than to have star skater who is mean, because skating career is so short whereas the life as a non-star has to go on afterwards. She seems to assume some responsibility for kids' psychological development because they spend so much time on the rink.
I have a pianist friend who says similar things. He feels responsible for his students' psychology because the teacher-student relationship is just so close in piano.

[sashaisgreat]

haha. Even in local rinks that I went to when I was younger, I could recall many examples of local star skaters who were also famous for their mannerism like a little princess (opps, not like the Sara Crewe in the children's novel , but the ones people have to count the number of voluntary "hello's" they say to others). I think that the sport feeds that kind of ego. We just let them be as they wanted.
But I once heard Machiko Yamada, Mao's and Midori's former coach, says in an interview that she would rather want her students to be likable and place lower, rather than to have star skater who is mean, because skating career is so short whereas the life as a non-star has to go on afterwards. She seems to assume some responsibility for kids' psychological development because they spend so much time on the rink.
I have a pianist friend who says similar things. He feels responsible for his students' psychology because the teacher-student relationship is just so close in piano.

Oh you misunderstood me. I don't think the "star" skaters are mean. Many of them are very nice. It's just that other's have hurt them due to jealousy or they have been used by other's who want to be like them. So, they are guarded and very careful about who they let into their inner circle.

[isk82]

While I enjoy reading Jenny's blog, I have always thought she had a bit of a chip on her shoulder. She was supposed to be the next great skater at one time, and never had the mental toughness to make it and I think she may be a little resentful of those who had that extra something.

I'm sure Boitano and Orser didn't have dinner together the night before they skated for Olympic gold, but I think at that time, you are surrounding yourself with your "team." They all toured together and I'm sure there were friendships formed on the tour bus.

I skated against close friends and while it wasn't for money or National or Olympic gold, I wanted to win, but I also wanted my friends to do well. I'm sure that changes as you move up competitively, but as others said before me, whatever path you choose in life has some competition in it. It's a true measure of the person, how they handle the pressure that comes with that.

[Dee4707]

While I enjoy reading Jenny's blog, I have always thought she had a bit of a chip on her shoulder. She was supposed to be the next great skater at one time, and never had the mental toughness to make it and I think she may be a little resentful of those who had that extra something.

What drove me crazy about her was her voice....it was soooooooooooo annoying!!!!! I just wanted to go and slap someone around, which is not me at all but her voice pitch.....was worse than fingernails on the blackboard.