- Joined
- Feb 16, 2010
Hello, I am looking for suggestions on how to get rid of this nightmarish phobia.
I skated when I was younger, had to give it up for health reasons for about 17 years (I'm 47 now), went back and was back to doing freestyle within a month with a brand new pair of skates.
Three months into it, one day I was just standing still talking to something when I felt my foot turn, and my leg twisted and collapsed under me, all my weight onto it. Just for standing still doing absolutely nothing, I ended up with spiral fractures in both my tibia and fibula! I ended up with a metal plate in my leg for the tibia fracture to hold the bones together.
THen came physical therapy, while the plate was still in my leg, which was plain stupid timing. The plate was removed after one year, then I had to wait another year to try skating again, because there were holes in the bone that needed to heal fully.
I finally got back to skating, but was having flashbacks of the bone-breaking incident, and on some days ended up in tears. I finally felt like I was "over it", did a second round of physical therapy because I couldn't use my ankle properly or bend it in teh right way to do even things like back crossovers.
2 or 3 months later I was back to working on jumps and spins, was overjoyed. Well, one day I was out on the middle of the ice and suddenly "froze up" absolutely terrified, too afraid to even move! I manages to get to the side and clung to the wall for dear life to get to the exit - I left the rink totally freaked out.
Still, I spent a year trying to not be afraid. Many days I left in tears and feelings of total frustration and hopelessness. Still, I kept going on like that the entire year. I tried everything to overcome the fear, and nothing helped. So I gave up. I didn't want to, but felt totally helpless by that time.
That was like 3 years ago. All this time I have had skating in my head constantly, dreaming about it, wishing I could get over this phobia, and feeling like it's a lost cause. Skates have been in the closet crying for me to use them. I am SO afraid it's unbelievable. So many times I have looked at the rink schedules trying to psych myself up to going back.
Last night I finally took the skates out of the closet, put them on my feet to see if they even still fit. I looked up rink schedules again. As any skater at heart knows, being on the ice is like flying with no gravity, like the most free feeling of entire being that a person could ever have while still living. I just don't know how I can ever get over this horrible phobia enough to force myself to give myself another try on the ice. I can look at skates and schedules all I want, but if I don;t get over the phobia it's all pointless.
So who can tell me how I can get over this freakish nightmare of a phobia?
I skated when I was younger, had to give it up for health reasons for about 17 years (I'm 47 now), went back and was back to doing freestyle within a month with a brand new pair of skates.
Three months into it, one day I was just standing still talking to something when I felt my foot turn, and my leg twisted and collapsed under me, all my weight onto it. Just for standing still doing absolutely nothing, I ended up with spiral fractures in both my tibia and fibula! I ended up with a metal plate in my leg for the tibia fracture to hold the bones together.
THen came physical therapy, while the plate was still in my leg, which was plain stupid timing. The plate was removed after one year, then I had to wait another year to try skating again, because there were holes in the bone that needed to heal fully.
I finally got back to skating, but was having flashbacks of the bone-breaking incident, and on some days ended up in tears. I finally felt like I was "over it", did a second round of physical therapy because I couldn't use my ankle properly or bend it in teh right way to do even things like back crossovers.
2 or 3 months later I was back to working on jumps and spins, was overjoyed. Well, one day I was out on the middle of the ice and suddenly "froze up" absolutely terrified, too afraid to even move! I manages to get to the side and clung to the wall for dear life to get to the exit - I left the rink totally freaked out.
Still, I spent a year trying to not be afraid. Many days I left in tears and feelings of total frustration and hopelessness. Still, I kept going on like that the entire year. I tried everything to overcome the fear, and nothing helped. So I gave up. I didn't want to, but felt totally helpless by that time.
That was like 3 years ago. All this time I have had skating in my head constantly, dreaming about it, wishing I could get over this phobia, and feeling like it's a lost cause. Skates have been in the closet crying for me to use them. I am SO afraid it's unbelievable. So many times I have looked at the rink schedules trying to psych myself up to going back.
Last night I finally took the skates out of the closet, put them on my feet to see if they even still fit. I looked up rink schedules again. As any skater at heart knows, being on the ice is like flying with no gravity, like the most free feeling of entire being that a person could ever have while still living. I just don't know how I can ever get over this horrible phobia enough to force myself to give myself another try on the ice. I can look at skates and schedules all I want, but if I don;t get over the phobia it's all pointless.
So who can tell me how I can get over this freakish nightmare of a phobia?