I got this in the email and thought it was worth a work. Doris
> today, an individual later discovered to be
> a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
> Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the
> notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of
> math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire
> average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent
> in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with
> names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as
> "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are
> part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
> As the great Greek philanderer isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
> every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
> instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm
> extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is
> intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to
> disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to
> inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's
> time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.
> These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything
> in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents
> of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.
> As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse". Here is one principle He
> is uncertain of---though they continue to multiply, their days are
> numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.