Fearsome Weapons of Math Instruction

I got this in the email and thought it was worth a work. Doris

Fearsome Cult
>
> today, an individual later discovered to be
> a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
> Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the
>
> notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of
> math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire
> average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent
> in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with
> names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as
> "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are
> part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
>
> As the great Greek philanderer isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
> every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
> instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm
> extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is
> intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to
> disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to
> inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's
> time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.
>
> These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything
> in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents
> of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.
>
> As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse". Here is one principle He
> is uncertain of---though they continue to multiply, their days are
> numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.

LOL....

Thanks for posting the joke. I'll have to send it to my uncle
(who's a teacher) he'll probably get a kick out of it.

--Hermione

"Beware of Mathematicians and all those who make false prophesies. The danger already exists that the Mathematicians have made a covenant with the Devil to darken the spirit and to confine mankind in the bonds of Hell." -- St. Augustine

Click to expand...

A joke? I thought it was real. Actually, the dreaded Al-gebra terrorist cells were founded by the famous Arab mathematician Muhammed bin Musa al-Kwarazmi in the 9th century. Sometimes transliterated "al-Gwarazmi," this great scholar gave his name to the word "Algorithm," the originally meaning of which was, to reason in the manner of al-Gwarazmi.

Al-Kwarazmi (also called Al Gore) wrote a famous manifesto under the title of "Kitab al-mukhasar fi hisab al-jabr wa'l muqabala" (the book of summary concerning calculation by transposition and reduction).

The word "algebra" comes from this Arabic word "al-jabr." When you solve an algebra problem, first you do al-jabr, then you do mukhabala.

Example: Solve this equation: 2x+3 =11.

Solution courtesy of Al Gore:

First do al-jabr by "transposing" the 3 to the other side:

2x = 11 - 3.

Now do mukhabala ("reducing," or combining like terms):

2x = 8.

Now do al-jabr again (that is, take the 2 to the other side by dividing both sides by 2):

x = 8/2.

Now do mukhabala one more time by reducing the answer:

x = 4.

Mathman

PS. The word "sine," on the other hand, is from the Sanskrit. It means "bowstring." (In modern usage the sine of an angle is only half of a bowstring. Think of a bow (undrawn) as part of the unit circle.)

I sent this to a bunch of friends, all of whom loved it! Now I'm gonna have to send Mathman's addition!

guinevere