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Thread: THANKSGIVING Predictions for TEB (must read)

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    Skating is art, if you let it be. Blades of Passion's Avatar
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    THANKSGIVING Predictions for TEB (must read)

    WOMEN

    1. Mirai Nagasu - She will win because everyone loves Pumpkin Pie the most and the secret to making the BEST Pumpkin Pie is by churning the mixture while in the pearl layback position with egg beaters attached to your feet. Nobody else has enough flexibility to match this incredible technique. Mirai's whipped cream is similarly amazing, creating the most scrumptious dish of the season. Who cares what the gravy tastes like when your dessert is this good.

    2. Mao Asada - Poor Mao has never even seen a turkey in her life. In Japan they eat cats. Thankfully she is a natural and manages to bake the bird fairly well. Her real success comes with her special recipe for marshmallow yams. These sweet potatoes knock people off their feet. Unfortunately for her, most everyone does prefer the pumpkin pie and she has to settle for 2nd.

    3. Alissa Czisny - She's a real midwest girl. Believes in cooking everything from scratch. NO cranberry sauce out of a can. NO stuffing out of a box. She even shoots the turkey herself and knows how to de-feather it. While everyone appreciates this authenticity, we can't help but feel the cranberry sauce isn't quite tart enough and the stuffing is slightly too soggy. We respect the meal but know it could be grander.

    4. Cynthia Phaneuf - Her best recipe is green bean casserole. Very earthy. Very robust. Very Canadian. While that's all well and good, you need more than a strong side dish to impress and it's better when your meal looks delectable rather than a murky shade of green.

    5. Kiira Korpi - She's skating to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Evita". Let's be honest - Dorothy and Evita can't cook for sh*t. Dorothy was too busy being chased by winged monkyes to ever learn how and Evita was too busy dying. Kiira Korpi delivers a dry turkey sandwich and nobody loves dry turkey, especially on white bread. The garnish on the plate is so pretty that we smile and nod anyway.
    Last edited by Blades of Passion; 11-25-2010 at 08:13 PM.

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