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Thread: Girl banned from attending the prom because she has no date

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    Custom Title Johar's Avatar
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    Girl banned from attending the prom because she has no date


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    Trixie Schuba's biggest fan! blue dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johar View Post
    I agree that this is cruel. In fact, it encourages the mindset that women are nothing without men. So stupid. No wonder why some have resorted to taking cardboard cutouts as dates (Justin Bieber and Tim Tebow both made appearances this year).

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    Quote Originally Posted by blue dog View Post
    I agree that this is cruel. In fact, it encourages the mindset that women are nothing without men. So stupid. No wonder why some have resorted to taking cardboard cutouts as dates (Justin Bieber and Tim Tebow both made appearances this year).
    I completely agree. And there are so many ways around the issue, not least of which are cardboard cutouts of heartthrobs.

    When I spent some time at grad school in the U.K. years ago, I noticed a lovely custom they had at dances. A group of girls would stand in a cluster, "dancing." (Most dances of the rock era are just standing around and gyrating, not holding on to anyone, so who needs a partner anyway?) If a guy wanted to dance with someone, he would just show up and ask, or tap the girl on the shoulder. So you didn't spend your time sitting on the sidelines, holding up the wall as we say here. Why does everyone have to show up at a school dance in pairs? Is the object of a prom to pair kids up? I doubt any adult (parent or teacher) would say that that is the goal of prom—especially at a Catholic school like the one in this article. So why discourage girls who just want to share in this important school experience, with the dress and the music and all?

    The mention of the Mormon prom jibes with an article I read sometime ago. It told about a group of traditionally raised American Muslim girls whose families didn't want them attending their school prom because it would involve dancing with non-related males. The girls yearned to take part in a prom--not to have boyfriends, but to choose a dress and plan the gym decorations and hear music over the sound system. They resolved the situation by having an all-girl prom. They got to do everything: dance, dress, put up theme decorations. The newspaper photograph respectfully showed just a girl's hand reaching to put down her handbag, which rested on a chair at the side of the room. This article was awhile ago, and if I remember it, you can imagine that the girls involved in the prom also remember the event with enjoyment. Shouldn't a girl who has no boyfriend (for whatever reason--too shy, just broke up, strict religious family) get the same chance to build memories as the prom queen, the head cheerleader, and the girl who found Mr. Right all the way back in the tenth grade?
    Last edited by Olympia; 05-07-2012 at 03:20 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blue dog View Post
    I agree that this is cruel. In fact, it encourages the mindset that women are nothing without men.
    I'm not so sure. The rule appears to be applied equally to girls and boys. One gender is not treated better than the other.

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    Custom Title Mathman's Avatar
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    Never mind.
    Last edited by Mathman; 05-07-2012 at 04:17 PM.

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    Trixie Schuba's biggest fan! blue dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PolymerBob View Post
    I'm not so sure. The rule appears to be applied equally to girls and boys. One gender is not treated better than the other.
    Making both genders have to bring a partner does not lessen the fact that it encourages the mindset that women are nothing with men. What would these Catholics say if the girl in question had decided to attend prom with a FEMALE date?

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    Custom Title heyang's Avatar
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    I'm curious as the the exact wording of 'the rule'. Is it ok to go with another female student - just friends? After all, a lot of people go to prom as just friends.

    I think it's a shame. It wasn't as though she was planning to attend the promo alone - her date backed out. Talk about a double whammie. If her prom date had gotten sick at the last moment and she went without him, would they have turned her away at the door? If that's the case, then no one should buy their prom tickets in advance. Was this policy clearly stated and was the student body informed before prom tickets were sold?

    If she's comfortable enough with going stag, then I don't see why it's a problem for the administration. She probably just wants to be able to go hang out with her other friends. What's the 'danger' in going to prom dateless?

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    and... World Peace! Tonichelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue dog View Post
    Making both genders have to bring a partner does not lessen the fact that it encourages the mindset that women are nothing with men. What would these Catholics say if the girl in question had decided to attend prom with a FEMALE date?
    considering Catholic Doctrine I don't think they should be thought of as "wrong" for defaulting to that Doctrine in the case of your question... as for this rule, I think it's lame in a lot of ways - what better way to promote abstinance?

    I didn't go to Prom with a date... wish I had because I was bored out of my skull... After prom (the ones the school puts on, get your head out of the gutter) activities are way more fun (and pre-prom dinners and what not for that matter)... the promenade and dance are LLLLAAAMEEEEEEEEE

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    The announcement from the diocese (or archdiocese; I forget which) said that going alone was fine for other dances during the year but that prom was an exception, which means that there was no problem with the concept of girls going stag (so to speak). That being so, it seems silly to deprive a girl of prom because her date backed out for whatever reason. Toni's point about abstinence is true: pairing up is not the object of prom to Catholic school officials, so why make such a point of it? They're not reenacting Noah's Ark.

    If you think about it, many young girls dream of going to their senior prom as an exciting event for months and even years in advance. I don't know that I've ever heard of a boy who dreams of going to prom. So depriving a girl of the opportunity seems especially harsh. A girl who comes alone might be bored as you were, Toni, or she might hang out with her friends, show off her dress, and have a great time. She ought to have that choice. And, as youi pointed out, Toni, there might be related activities before and after prom that this girl shouldn't have to miss.

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    and... World Peace! Tonichelle's Avatar
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    I don't know that I've ever heard of a boy who dreams of going to prom.
    A lot of the guys I went to school with were big on prom... and they went all out for their lady. My brother wants to go badly (we have a Jr/Sr prom in my town, and most freshmen and sophs go as well on the arm of an upper classman... it's a small school), my parents don't allow it. He sneaks out and does what he wants anyway so he probably went this year and they were none the wiser. I am actually surprised he hasn't gotten his girlfriends knocked up... but I could rant about that (and blue_dog can attest that I do just that on facebook lol) but this is about prom...

    I know a lot of girls have great fun, but it's really not life and death. Like I said - the before and after activities are way more fun...

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    Custom Title Mathman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue dog View Post
    What would these Catholics say if the girl in question had decided to attend prom with a FEMALE date?
    That is the only explanation that makes sense. I don't think God considers it sinful for a girl to go to a dance by herself.

    But wait...what if two girls each went stag (I mean, doe) separately, and then hooked up at the dance!!!!! Ever vigilant!

    (My Mom, lacking a date for her senior prom, went with her little brother, age ten. Needless to say, his dance card was full, as all the girls thought he was cute. )

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