My New Schedule ... Advice for Parents of Skaters

[starshinexavier]

sk8tngcanuck, sounds like you've got a future star on your hands. As long as she loves skating, keep her in it, and fuel her passion for the sport, and who knows, she might be the next Canadian champ! What level does she compete in?

In response to your questions, I'll be starting my 14th year skating in the fall. It doesn't seem like it at all either. I only really have 3 more skating goals left, get Gold Dance, compete in Gold Triathlon and become a skating coach. I'm working on Gold Dance now, I will compete in Gold Triathlon next winter, and I take my first coaching course in less than a month. My other goals, Gold Skills, Gold Interpretive, National Gold Medal, and a solo in a skating carnival, well I've already achieved them. For someone who is tall, un-coordinated, and klutzy, with no natural skating ability, I've done quite well for myself.

I do have some advice for you. Please, as long as your daughter's in skating, respect the relationship between her and her coach. Her coach is the expert, and although you might have disagreements with them, they know best. Also, make sure your daughter is respected by her coach, and during her private lessons, make sure the coach is giving her their undivided attention. After all, you want the most for your money. Most importantly, enjoy watching your daughter develop as a skater and an individual. Her passion will rub off on you, and this can and will be something special to share between the two of you. Enjoy it!!!:D

[sk8tngcanuck]

Starshine,

Thank you so much for your kind words and for the excellent advice. I couldn't agree more with you about respecting the relationship of coach and child. I have a full respect for their relationship and for the coaches abilities. My belief is that I pay her for her professional knowledge, and that she certainly doesn't need my two cents.

Congrats on achieving the majority of your goals! As to coaching, out of curiosity, which province are you in? If you have ever looked at the skate canada classifieds, I am sure you have seen the huge demand for coaching, especially here in AB. All the best to you!

[starshinexavier]

Thanks for the thanks! :D I like seeing people succeed, and I think your daughter just might be one of them who does.

I live in Ontario, and compete in the Western Ontario Section. I won't be a qualified coach until next summer though. I have quite a bit of assignments and such I need to get done before I can start. There are many jobs available in WOS, so I'm hoping I can get a job at a local arena. There's no chance of me relocating, due to the fact I'm starting university in the fall, and it has one of the best programs in the country for the program I'm taking.

Best of luck, and Happy Skating!

[Cinderella On Ice]

<strong>Sk8tngcanuck</strong> - I agree with you that Starshine's advice is excellent and she should be an inspiration for younger kids (heck, she's been inspiring us "oldsters" here as well!).

An important thing you said in your post is that your daughter "lives" to skate, meaning that her motivation is coming from within. This is just excellent, and should always be the case as you move forward. However, it puts a real burden on you as the parent to make sure of several things. First, even those who live to skate have some bad days/times, and you will have to differentiate these in order to know when to "push" forward just in order to get over a hump or two and when to back off, if the "magic" is gone. No one should be "forced" to skate, in the grand picture. But at 7 years old, all of us needed instruction in how to keep ourselves motivated, as there is always some ebb and flow, especially as she ages and becomes interested in other things (boys, for example). She'll need help understanding how you weave your passion into the rest of your life so you're not "missing out" on things but rather making your own choices.

Second, these days its very important for parents to guard against overtraining. Many of the skaters now put their bodies through so much more and at younger ages and then pay the price with repetitive stress injuries and some pretty serious problems. At age 7, in your own mind you are indestructible, so it's up to the parents to be sure the right off-ice conditioning and cross training and REST are occuring.

Third, I think every skater would agree that their skating can be helped considerably by other activities (such as ballet and other dance, Pilates, etc.). This is good for two reasons. First of all, you want your kid to be well-rounded in their development (skating FS for example, forcuses on the individual, so maybe some team activity would be good), but also in case there is a time when skating must be left behind, you certainly don't want that to be the only part of the child that's been developed.

Having said these things, I'll also assure you that for the most part your child will have no concept of the "gift" that you've given her and the sacrifices you've made to allow her to skate. At a young age, we are the center of our universe and don't have a clue. I can tell you from experience that as the skater matures, it becomes perfectly clear the role that the parents played and it's a bond that brings you even closer. I'm 46 and now that I've "rediscovered" skating and it's awoken all those old passions, I tell my father almost weekly how much I appreciate what he gave up so I could skate. I also contacted my former pairs partner's mom and my best skating friend's mom to thank them for everything they did (chauffering, overnights, costumes) that helped me to follow my passion.

I believe there are some good books out there now for skating moms and dads and you might want to scope them out for some expert advice.

Hope this helps and that I'm not being a "buttinski"!

[starshinexavier]

Aww..........Cindy.............you gave me a tear with that. That's sooo sweet, thank you! It made my day!(Along with the fact I qualify for a $2000 scholarship!) Your post was abosolutely excellent, and you're completely right with everything you said.

I have a dear friend, more like a sister, who is 13 years old, and competes at the novice level. She's an incredibly talented skater, she had all her single jumps at 8, and all her doubles (minus the axel) by the time she was turning 10. And she's made it to Sectionals twice in the past 3 years as well. Now, as a teenager, she's discovering boys, parties, friends, etc. and for a while during the past season, her focus was elsewhere. She put more of an emphasis on her social life, rather than her training schedule, and that cost her dearly at Sectionals, with a disappointing skate in her short program, causing her to be 18th out of 20 skaters. Thankfully, she got a reality check from that, and put everything back in perspective, thanks to the help of our coach and myself. Her passion for the sport is burning brightly once again, more so now that she has a clean double axel, and slightly underrotated triple sal and triple loop. Sometimes not doing so well can motivate them to do better, but how they handle the not doing so well is what's most important. My friend has resorted to temper tantrums in the past, which does not look good for her image, especially when politics are involved. She has straightened herself out tremendously, simply because her parents and coach were not going to take anymore of her childish behaviour. This is something that parents of talented skaters do need to be aware of, because it CAN definitely happen. I hope this helps bring some sort of perspective.

Happy Skating!:D

[sk8tngcanuck]

Cinderella,

I would never consider you a buttinski! Since this whole thing is relatively new to me, I am a sponge who will absorb every piece of advice offered. I only want to do what is right for her, and since I never really skated as a kid, I don't have that experience to draw on. I do know that having a balanced life is VERY important. She and I just had quite the disagreement recently about her having to take a family vacation with us instead of skating all 5 weeks of summer camp with her friends. She was quite indignant that she "gets stuck going to the lake" (her words) while all her friends (2 to be exact,lol) get to skate. I told her that skipping family vacation was not an option, but that I would compromise and take her for "drop in" during the other 3 weeks that we are around. '

This year, she is going to take dance lessons one day a week and she will take part in the off ice fitness training that is offered once per week. As much as I have tried to encourage other activity, she just doesn't want to. She gets teary eyed at the thought of NOT skating, in fact she wants to skate 5 days a week. I am a firm believer in not putting all one's eggs in one basket, but I also am insistent that my kids take part in one outside activity of their choice year round. For now her love is skating, and I will do all I can to encourage it. She may one day decide that she doesn't want to continue skating, and if that happens that is just fine too! I always tell my kids that when it ceases to be enjoyable, you should no longer continue. (Does not pertain to math!)

Thanks so much for all your advice both starshine and Cinderella! I am sure I will draw on your experience often this upcoming season.

Oh, and just FYI, these are the goals she has set for this season : Pass Canasta Tango, Fiesta, and Swing dances, pass prelim freeskate and participate in 5 competitons, placing no lower than 5th, but preferably top 3 in each! She is NUTS I tell you! Those are pretty hefty goals and I have explained to her that goals are wonderful but that they should always be within reach. I told her I feel that is a pretty heavy load for one year, but she insists that with hard work she can do it. We will see!

Canuck

[Glacierskater]

Cinderella,
I am testing for my pre bronze and bronze in August. I am excited for you! I will looking to see how you did. Your schedule sounds full. You are either going to be in great shape, or really tired, or both! Do you have any competition plans coming up? I am curious and I love to hear what other adult skaters are doing.

[Cinderella On Ice]

Glacierskater - woo hoo for you! I will cross my fingers and toes for your August testing (though I'm concerned that will make it kind of hard to land my jumps! :lol: ).

I see that you've posted in several spots here, so forgive me if I'm asking what you've already answered. Can you share more about your skating (have you just started, how old are you, what region of what country are you in)? I'm just curious about everything!

What music are you using for your Bronze FS? When you test for Pre-Bronze, will you link all the elements together or just do them one at a time? I take it that you have already passed your Moves in the Field, or are you testing everything in one day (you brave person, you!).

My competition plans are actually to first pass all of my adult tests through Gold (by January 2004) and then compete at Adult Nationals in April 2004. I don't know whether any competitions will be available to me before then, so if not, it will be quite a leap to go from not having skated for 30 years, to competing at the national level! (Just in case you didn't read it somewhere else, I HAVE to compete at no less than the Gold level because of ISI tests I passed when I was 7-14 years old!)

[Figureskates]

Cindy, looks like I will see you in Lake Placid next April for Adult Nationals.

Most likely not competing but volunteering as my club is host.

[Cinderella On Ice]

Figureskates - Cool! Maybe you could send me a PM with your first name and/or some identifying information so I'll know you when I see you. This will give me one more reason to work hard to pass my tests in time so I'm eligible to compete!

BTW, I know that everyone really appreciates all the volunteers who make the competition happen, so three cheers for you! Thanks in advance for taking the time to do something that helps all of us adult skaters.

[Figureskates]

Ciny, I will probably put my screen name under my name on the badge since I use the same handle on all the boards and I know quite a few adults who will most likely be competing.

I may compete as well if I can finish up all the requirements fror bronze this winter. When not skating I will most likely be on the registration desk.

[sk8er1964]

Figureskates - I'll be at Lake Placid too. I volunteered quite a bit this last year (I live near Ann Arbor) and would like to volunteer at least a little bit next year, for competition or practice ice monitoring. So keep me in mind when you all are putting together your volunteer lists.