Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Need Your Advice, Please!!!

  1. #1
    Figure Skating Is A Dangerous Sport Dee4707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    16,664

    Need Your Advice, Please!!!

    I need your advice. A friend of mine asked me to co-sign a lease on an apartment for 12 months. The reason I need your advice is I have never asked anyone to do anything like that for me. When I was younger I moved into what I could afford then and as I advanced in salary I got a better place. My friend got into a situation with another person and destroyed his credit rating. He lost his house, his car and almost became homeless. This has been going on for some time now. Now the other person wants to break away and has left my friend with very, very bad credit. My parents taught me that when I turned 21 that I was an adult and that I was capable of taking care of myself and I have lived my life that way. IF I couldn’t afford something right then I saved for it. I had talked to my friend before about using legal aid to see if there was a way to get his credit rating fixed or to help him find a way to do that. For some reason I feel he is trying to take the easy way out. I have never taken the easy way out on anything. He said he went to an apartment and put down $300 and they found out that his credit rating wasn’t where it should be so he couldn’t get the place. I had even suggested that he tell the apartment complex that his credit rating is bad but could he put X number of dollars down to show good faith and see what they say. He is kind of stubborn and doesn’t answer me.

    That’s the story in a nutshell. Since I had spoken to him before about his credit rating I find that helping him (which I probably won’t - just based on if something happens I don’t want to be responsible for his rent) is just band aiding the problem not solving it. He needs to solve it.

    So does anyone know of solutions to credit ratings??

    Any advice at all?

  2. #2
    Custom Title
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,493
    My only advice is that no matter what, you should not get involved with co-signing a lease. Not for any reason whatsoever. Years ago, before she was First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson said, "I wouldn't have a joint bank account with the Angel Gabriel." This is as good a motto as any.

    As far as this friend's attempts to fix the credit rating, I'm sure it can be done, but I have no concrete advice on that topic. But for you to get financially involved would be suicidal.

  3. #3
    Figure Skating Is A Dangerous Sport Dee4707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    16,664
    Quote Originally Posted by Olympia View Post
    Years ago, before she was First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson said, "I wouldn't have a joint bank account with the Angel Gabriel." This is as good a motto as any.
    I love it Olympia. I appreciate your thoughts and I can't see myself signing anything but I wanted some objective info.

    Knowing me for about 20 years was probably difficult for him to ask but when I've tried to talk with him before about his credit he would change the subject. Now I guess I will have to change the subject.

  4. #4
    Custom Title
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,493
    Your parents were right, and now is the moment to think about what they taught you. It's very hard when money comes between friends, but if you help him out now to avoid bad feelings, the money will almost certainly come between you later, for a worse reason. He's put you in an incredibly awkward position, and I don't know a nice way for you to wriggle out without sounding judgmental. You could say that you can't afford to because of your own circumstances, if that helps, but if he asks for specifics, don't give any. It's actually true: if things go bad, you will not be able to afford the results. And you will be legally responsible for the lease if he suddenly has to crumble and skip out for whatever reason. I think that he probably fell into this cesspool because he did exactly what he's asking you to do--he tangled his finances with those of another person.

    I hope things work out for him.

  5. #5
    Custom Title merrywidow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    9,391
    Dee, Many, many years ago I read an answer given by Eleanor Roosevelt about loaning money. She said, "Never loan what you can't afford to give as a gift in the event that you are never repaid." This would also apply to being a cosigner IMO. Your friend might look into filing for bankruptcy to straighten out his bad credit.

  6. #6
    Wicked Yankee Girl dorispulaski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Staring at the ocean and smiling.
    Posts
    15,316
    The problem is not just that you will be responsible for the rent; you will find that his bad credit affects your credit, even if you pay his rent for him every month.

    Olympia & merrywidow's advice is all good.

    Even co-signing your child's student loans can be a credit nightmare. This happened to people I know.

  7. #7
    Custom Title heyang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    3,188
    I agree with the others. Don't co-sign that lease. Even people with good credit are 1 accident/illness/job loss away from going into debt. If this person is your friend, he/she will respect you if you just say you don't feel comfortable co-signing.

    I recall lending a friend money in college. She got a check weekly from her parents for photography supplies - of course they didn't know she was skipping classes. She was usually 'good' about paying me back, but there was one week where she bought paint and canvasses and told me she'd give me the money 'next week'. Kinda irked me because those supplies weren't for classes - just something fun for her to do. She did pay me back the next week, but I didn't loan her money afterwards.

    Even if you loan your friend money:
    make sure you sign a loan agreement that includes repayment terms. Just to make sure there are no misunderstandings - it's not a gift and you should expect to be repaid in a reasonable amount of time (my mother loaned someone a few thousand dollars and now her 'friend' isn't responding to her calls or letters, etc.)
    be prepared to be 'watching' how your friend spends money. Is he spending money on luxuries vs paying you back , etc?

    IMHO, it's more uncomfortable loaning/signing with for a friend vs saying sorry, I can't.

  8. #8
    Custom Title heyang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    3,188
    oh, as for bad credit rating, it takes a while to clear it up. Involves repaying any outstanding debts and remaining debtless for at least a couple of years. When I say debtless, it's ok to use a credit card, as long as you pay off each month.

    The only thing that might help is for him/her to go after the friend that ruined his credit rating in court by getting some kind of settlement.

    Your friend should definitely seek some legal advice.

  9. #9
    Wicked Yankee Girl dorispulaski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Staring at the ocean and smiling.
    Posts
    15,316
    Your friend should review his credit report from all 3 major credit agencies to be sure that all problems are actually his problems-a large percentage of credit reports have errors.

    There is a procedure for challenging incorrect reports.

    Also, he should pay off at once any reports that are for small amounts.

    If there are credit cards that have been closed, start negotiations with the credit card company to make some sort of payoff. Be aware that if you settle for an amount less than the total bill, you will get a 1099 for "income" for the unpaid part of the bill.

  10. #10
    Figure Skating Is A Dangerous Sport Dee4707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    16,664
    Quote Originally Posted by Olympia View Post
    Your parents were right, and now is the moment to think about what they taught you.
    Olympia, when my dad said you're old enough to be on your own and to take care of yourself, the most meaningful thing he said was.....and.....I know you can. I have never forgotten those words and how much love and faith he had in me.

  11. #11
    Figure Skating Is A Dangerous Sport Dee4707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    16,664
    EVERYONE, you've given such great advice. For some reason I just feel he's looking for an easy way out. As I've said before...being where I am now was not an easy road but I did it and no one can ever take that away from me.

  12. #12
    Medalist
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    77
    I was in a bad spot - our business failed; it meant new jobs and poor credit. I was able to scrimp enough to get 3 months rent deposit in cash and was able to secure an apartment. It really sucked, but it was a risk to own a business and I had to pay off debts. After a year of living there, I was able to get a better place and do the normal one month deposit. Sometimes you have to take a year in a less desirable location and pay early/on time to build your rental history. I was told to get a cosigner, but you never know the future - there wasn't anyone I knew (including family) that I would want to put in a bad place if some other bad fortunes happened so we negotiated the larger deposit instead.

  13. #13
    Figure Skating Is A Dangerous Sport Dee4707's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    16,664
    Quote Originally Posted by loopy View Post
    I was told to get a cosigner, but you never know the future - there wasn't anyone I knew (including family) that I would want to put in a bad place if some other bad fortunes happened so we negotiated the larger deposit instead.
    Loopy, thanks for your info -- it helps a lot. As I said before, I think he's trying to take the easy route. I think when you have to put it mildly, suffer a little, then the lessons learned stays with you as well as the suffering that goes with it. I have near perfect credit and I won't put that in jeopardy for anyone. I think too that when he saw he was in trouble with credit instead of working out terms he just dismissed any communication with companies and I think that's what got him into trouble. I had suggested he offer maybe 3 months of rent as a good faith deposit but he said he didn't think so.

  14. #14
    Custom Title Mathman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Detroit, Michigan
    Posts
    28,113
    If you get involved you will lose your money and your friend.

  15. #15
    Custom Title CoyoteChris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Spokane
    Posts
    1,374
    What Mathman and everyone else said. I see soooo many friends enable friends and relatives (like their children) instead of teaching them how to make smart choices and dig themselves out of a hole and claw their way up the ladder. I love the quotes given here, by the way. I will give my own. "Give a man a fish, and he will be hungry tomarrow...teach a man to fish and he will never be hungry again."
    Chris who started out married life in an old (and I mean old) 35 ft by 8 ft. trailer. And you know what? Those years were some of the best of my life....attitude is everything....
    Quote Originally Posted by Mathman View Post
    If you get involved you will lose your money and your friend.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •