Empty Nest!

[show 42]

My oldest son moved out yesterday to make it on his own. He was a difficult child to raise, but has turned into a fine young adult. He has a learning disability and life has handed him lemons at times, but he always managed to make lemonade. My husband has plans for his old bedroom. My youngest son wants to make it into a weight room but my hubby has plans for a t.v. computer center. All I can see when I look into his empty room is a little boy building endless towers with lego blocks and wanting someone to read to him............42

[Grgranny]

Having been there so many, many times I really feel for you. Time does heal but it is so hard when one moves out. I not only had four move out but some of them kept coming back and it doesn't get any easier. Now I can't stand the no noise and have to keep tv on all the time. I know they must leave but it really hurts.

[SusanBeth]

((( HUG )))

I know what you are going through. My eldest just turned 18. This is her last semester of high school. She's already been accepted at college. She's so excited. It's like the world is opening up for her. I'm happy things are going well for her, but THAT'S MY BABY. It hasn't been that long since I was picking out frilly dresses and baby booties. I'm going to be a wreck this fall. However, I will try my best to stay positive. Other mothers have survived and so will I. I hope.

[JOHIO2]

SusanBeth,
Just wait til you see how fast the next few years go! Pretty soon that baby will be a college graduate with a career and a family of her own. My daughter is expecting the beginning of April, so at least I get a grandbaby as a consolation prize. And my Army Reservist son is still pluggin along at college (and showing up here on many weekends -- his girlfriend goes to school up here and of course, Uncle Sam still requires his presence at least one weekend a month.) Gee, what happens when he decides to go global with his career? I felt bad enough when the Army sent him to Kuwait. Oh well, life goes on.

[Mathman]

Mixed feelings indeed, Show. But I think the main one should be pride in the accomplishments of your whole family. Working together, you raised up a tiny infant into a self-reliant man. Hat's off!

Mathman

[show 42]

Thank you all for your kind words of comfort and advice. I know I'll "hang in there" for what other choice do I have? Besides, I have another fledgling waiting to try his wings in a few more years, and then I'll have to go through this all over again......42

[Grgranny]

Actually, the first couple of days are the worst and then it starts getting better. So, the really bad feelings don't last long at all.
What you keep thinking (anyway I did) was is this how it feels when you really lose someone? It isn't at all. At least not to me. You always know they will be back. What's really hard is when you lose someone and it's so hard to believe that all at once it's like how in the world can they just wipe someone off the face of the earth like that. So, just take comfort in the fact that they are still around. So many people have lost their children and that must be the worst thing that could happen.

[show 42]

GrGranny, thank you for putting it into perspective for me.....you're right of course........there are unfortunately, worse things........42

[dlkksk8fan]

Show-
You should be proud of your son. You are entering into a new phase of your life-enjoy! Of course you have one more at home Seeing our children go out into the world gives us moms (and dads) such mixed emotions. But it is the natural order of things when we have children-we did it and never gave a thought to what our parents were feeling (at least I didn't). My oldest will be 18 in a few months, however he won't be moving out too soon.

And by the way I totally agree with your youngest son's suggestion-a weight room. With one son out of the house you will have all this extra time to get and keep in shape

[eliza88]

Show--all I can say is let your son know you are feeling this way! My mom raised 4 self-reliant children but nurturing she was not! I was #3 out of 4 and I felt that she couldn't wait to have us all out of there! Basically don't let the door kick you on the way out...

You're post kind of gave me a glimpse into the future as I am currently raising 2 daughters (6 and 9). My husband took them out yesterday and gave me 2 blissful hours of silence! Sibling squabbles have reached an all-time high lately! Anyway, in reading your posts I was reminded of the BIGGER PICTURE, try to enjoy your kids daily and don't let the details wear you down (even when you feel yourself repeating the same thing for the 100th time)! I hope when my "empty nest" comes around I can say the same things that you said, "She (he) has become a fine adult."

eliza88

[paintbrushhh]

Show,

Think of this as the wonder year. You will be wandering about your house wondering... where the heck are all the good towels, all the forks and all the non-stained plastic containers?

You will find all these items in Sonny's closets/cupboards at his new digs.

Did this twice, it's been a few years and I still find my things in their houses. One even took what my hubby disparagingly called "a woman's powertool", my battery- operated screw-driver. :sheesh:

Oh well, I think of it as a reason to buy new stuff.

Paintbrushhh

[show 42]

Dlk, Eliza, and Paint..........thank you for your "pep" talks.....they really do help. I have found that keeping a "goodie" bag handy, something to place socks that were left behind, an extra set of car keys, a box of his favorite popcorn, keeps me grounded. I'll have something to hand him when he drops by for a visit. I even put together a photo album for him (my hubby rolled his eyes when he saw this), but my son thought it was great! His brother is having a tough time. They are very close, have much in common, and went to sporting events and movies together all the time. He's been very quiet and reflective lately, but they both have cell phones so I know they will keep in touch...........42