Crazy future predictions | Page 8 | Golden Skate

Crazy future predictions

Violet Bliss

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 19, 2010
Do your two nuts realize of all the sk8ing forums in the world to run wild in, this happens to be the one with a Mathman as a mod?

OK, I may need to edit to clarify that I love nuts, all kinds. But hazelnuts are best in fine chocolate.
 

skatedreamer

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Country
United-States
Sandpiper/Pamina -- my head is about to explode, but what a way to go! :rofl::rofl:

SkateFiguring -- figure skating nut (me) covered in fine chocolate = heaven on earth. :slink:

New prediction: chocolate replaces ice as the preferred surface for figure skating.
 

Iron Lotus

On the Ice
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
What about my favorite pairs element? See my user name :laugh:

At the urging of ~Pamina~, I'm bringing the following out of the Yuzuru Hanyu Fan Fest into the wider world to traumatize everyone (excuse me for reviving an old thread, but it seems like a good light-hearted counterpart to the "Medal contenders in next Olympics" discussion):

In late 2014, young Plushenko suddenly shows up, having been sucked through a time machine. He teams up with Yuzuru Hanyu as a pairs team, after seeing seeing his older self land side-by-side triples with Yuzuru in perfect synch (go to 0:52). They become known as Plushy (self-explanatory) & Mushy (after Yuzu's mushroom haircut, which he quickly re-adopted). Meanwhile, old Plushenko blackmails Speedy into allowing same-sex pairs couples, using a combination of the Sex Bomb muscle suit, a painted apple, and a DSLR camera. How exactly the blackmail took place, I'll leave up to everyone's imagination.

Plushy & Mushy earn outrageous TES with their side-by-side 4Ts and 3As, and get insta-Level 4 spins by doing side-by-side Biellmanns. Yuzu decides the best way to get all the quads (and stop falling on the dratted salchow) is to have Plushy throw him into them. He gets all the quads sans the axel. They even work on a unique pair move by combining Plushy's Biellmann spiral with Mushy's Ina Bauer. It's not as pretty as Berehznaya/Sikharulidze's spread eagle + spiral combo, but it wows the judges through its sheer weirdness.

Everything seems to be going well for the pair, heading into the 2018 Olympics as the favourites. However, before the Pyeongchang opening ceremonies, the universe collapses; Plushenko's time-travelling created too many contradictions: in one universe he is a four-time Olympian, while in another he disappeared before Salt Lake and returned as a pairs competitor 12 years later. Sadly, because the world ended, we'll never find out if Koreavengeance would've robbed the pair. :biggrin:

(I still don't think I managed to top the "combining figure skating with curling" prediction, but I gave it my best shot).
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
How about a completely nutter 2018 Olympic podium prediction? Here we go!

Pairs:
G - Kavaguti / Smirnov (RUS) [I think they'll retire well before]
S - Savchenko / Massot (FRA) [and then she'll say she wants to go for gold in 2022...]
B - Castelli / Tran (USA) [if his papers clear]

Men:
G - Nguyen (CAN) [I say this because I don't think he'll be at that level until 2022]
S - Uno (JPN) [ditto]
B - Martinez (PHI) [lots of potential but he needs more speed and a champion maker to mold him]

Dance:
G - B/S (RUS) [a sign that the discipline has become a major bore]
S - C/B (GBR) [I like them but don't expect them to get that high]
B - H/D (ESP) [Viva Espana, Viva!]

Ladies:
G - Osmond (CAN) ["crazy" prediction right?]
S - Li (CHN)
B - Leonova (RUS) [major comeback the way her idol Slutskaya did before her ...]

Team:
G - Canada [Chan enters, wins, then pulls a Plushy in the men's SP]
S - Russia [owing to either Kovtun or Gachinski placing 9th in men's SP]
B - Japan [because they finally got decent dancers / pairs]

OK I'm going to lock myself up now ...
 

Sandpiper

Record Breaker
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
^^Two possible narratives:

1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

@Anyanka
That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting. ;)
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
^^Two possible narratives:

1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

@Anyanka
That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting. ;)

She'll become the Merlene Ottey-Page of the figure skating world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merlene_Ottey

"Her proclivity for earning bronze medals in major championships also earned her the title of "Bronze Queen" in track circles."

In all seriousness though, I like Aljona and she's a great competitor. I like her drive and ambition, and respect her for it. But I somehow don't think she'll be able to replicate the alchemy she had with Robin. But I do hope she does well with Bruno!
 

skatedreamer

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Country
United-States
^^Two possible narratives:

1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

@Anyanka
That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting. ;)


3rd possibility: They try it in Pyongchang. The attempt actually brings on the Apocalypse...which is then postponed b/c of a huge judging controversy. :slink:
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
Sandpiper/Pamina -- my head is about to explode, but what a way to go! :rofl::rofl:

SkateFiguring -- figure skating nut (me) covered in fine chocolate = heaven on earth. :slink:

New prediction: chocolate replaces ice as the preferred surface for figure skating.

Not if the alleged worldwide chocolate shortage predicted for 2020 comes true! (Then again I am unsure how accurate that report is, Google it ... :slink: )
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
3rd possibility: They try it in Pyongchang. The attempt actually brings on the Apocalypse...which is then postponed b/c of a huge judging controversy. :slink:

So the deity of one's choice (Judeo-Christian or otherwise) says "hold the phone! I can't send the four horsemen yet because the TES score was too high!"?? :p

:laugh:
 

Sam-Skwantch

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”
Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Country
United-States
Not if the alleged worldwide chocolate shortage predicted for 2020 comes true! (Then again I am unsure how accurate that report is, Google it ... :slink: )

Well that clears that up. This is the delayed apocalypse!! The end of chocolate = the end of the world. Delayed two years of course for us to discuss the 2018 OGM step sequence from the ladies.
 

Sandpiper

Record Breaker
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
She'll become the Merlene Ottey-Page of the figure skating world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merlene_Ottey

"Her proclivity for earning bronze medals in major championships also earned her the title of "Bronze Queen" in track circles."

In all seriousness though, I like Aljona and she's a great competitor. I like her drive and ambition, and respect her for it. But I somehow don't think she'll be able to replicate the alchemy she had with Robin. But I do hope she does well with Bruno!
I want OGM for Aliona! I'm on team V/T more than team S/S, but I really respect Aliona's determination and competitive drive, and I think if she wins gold at 35, it'll be a huge inspiration to the skating world. (I'd be happy if she and Massot win a medal of any colour though).

Lol, better Bronze Queen than eternal fourth place (*cough*Brezina*cough*). And Aliona has five World titles; she doesn't lack for gold.
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
I want OGM for Aliona! I'm on team V/T more than team S/S, but I really respect Aliona's determination and competitive drive, and I think if she wins gold at 35, it'll be a huge inspiration to the skating world. (I'd be happy if she and Massot win a medal of any colour though).

Lol, better Bronze Queen than eternal fourth place (*cough*Brezina*cough*). And Aliona has five World titles; she doesn't lack for gold.

Yup. All of this. And by "eternal fourth place" I would think the two more accurate examples are Selezneva / Makarov (worlds 84, 86, 87, 90) and Petrova / Tikhonov (worlds 99, 01, 02, 04), although S/M got OBM 84 and P/T were world title holders once.

And who's to say that she can't get OGM at 34? S/Z got theirs at 31 and 36, respectively. Although the difference is that they skated together for decades before.
 

Pamigena

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 17, 2014
EDIT: Top 1/8th of this graph: http://www.themathpage.com/acalc/calc_IMG/003c.png As y approaches infinity, x approaches 0. The fewer people remaining who think I'm sane, the more likely someone predicts the end of the world. (I've officially lost it).
you're my new hero :laugh:

So the deity of one's choice (Judeo-Christian or otherwise) says "hold the phone! I can't send the four horsemen yet because the TES score was too high!"?? :p
omg :laugh: I've just spent the last five minutes gasping for air!

New prediction: chocolate replaces ice as the preferred surface for figure skating.
you know what, this might totally boost the popularity of this sport. Considering the mess chocolate skating would make, I predict that if your prediction happens, some advertisers will sell FS as a more elegant and more tasty version of mud wrestling.
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
And while we're still at it ... here are some more:

- Yulia retires next year (she won't, and I want her to stick around until at least 2018)
- Asada AND Kim both return for 2018 ... but NEITHER win OGM!
- Presenting America's new ice dance champions ... Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir, interpreting the entire Lady Gaga discography (with Beyonce for good measure)
- Robin Szolkowy decides to return, Aljona won't break up with Bruno, so he takes up with ... Vera Bazarova
- the two dominant Canadian pairs competing at the national level, trading 1-2 places will be MTM v. 2.0 and Dylan with Lyubov

And now I've spun way out of control into the fantastical, methinks.
 

fleeting

Queen Anissina
Medalist
Joined
Feb 19, 2014
And while we're still at it ... here are some more:

- Yulia retires next year (she won't, and I want her to stick around until at least 2018)
- Asada AND Kim both return for 2018 ... but NEITHER win OGM!
- Presenting America's new ice dance champions ... Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir, interpreting the entire Lady Gaga discography (with Beyonce for good measure)
- Robin Szolkowy decides to return, Aljona won't break up with Bruno, so he takes up with ... Vera Bazarova
- the two dominant Canadian pairs competing at the national level, trading 1-2 places will be MTM v. 2.0 and Dylan with Lyubov

And now I've spun way out of control into the fantastical, methinks.

I would actually love that.

And when Lady Gaga finds out, she decides to produce 'Gaga On Ice.' Tara and Johnny are the headliners, Gaga's skating double is Gracie :laugh:
 

skatedreamer

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Country
United-States
So the deity of one's choice (Judeo-Christian or otherwise) says "hold the phone! I can't send the four horsemen yet because the TES score was too high!"?? :p

:laugh:


:rofl: :rock: :rofl:

I'm @ the office & am trying to maintain some semblance of professional dignity. It's not working -- you guys are too funny! But the phone thing is soooo 20th century, no? I'm thinking Twitter or Instagram or something...
 

Sandpiper

Record Breaker
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
- Asada AND Kim both return for 2018 ... but NEITHER win OGM!
This combined with an earlier prediction (from someone else, I can't take the credit for it): OGM goes to Adelina Sotnikova because everyone else falls over at least four times and they thus have no choice but to give it to her!

And when you talked about P/T and eternal fourth place... my brain immediately went to Pang/Tong who were fourth in 2006 and 2014 (I know that's not who you meant but my brain went there... at least they got Olympic silver and a World title).

And hey, before winning gold, Shen/Zhao won bronze twice. So if history holds true, Aliona's chances ain't bad. :clap:
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
This combined with an earlier prediction (from someone else, I can't take the credit for it): OGM goes to Adelina Sotnikova because everyone else falls over at least four times and they thus have no choice but to give it to her!

And when you talked about P/T and eternal fourth place... my brain immediately went to Pang/Tong who were fourth in 2006 and 2014 (I know that's not who you meant but my brain went there... at least they got Olympic silver and a World title).

And hey, before winning gold, Shen/Zhao won bronze twice. So if history holds true, Aliona's chances ain't bad. :clap:

Adelina winning in 2018 ... but I figured she'd retire by then. Or if she comes back, she places 25th in the SP and misses the FS ... [cues ominous music] --> ~crazy prediction~

Re: P/T = Petrova / Tikhonov and Pang / Tong = yup, I hear ya, we're used to talking "P/T" referring to the Chinese in the last 8 years! BTW they got two world titles, ahem. ;)

As for S/Z and Aljona ... holy I didn't see that pattern!!! Well done! :p

I'm having way too much fun with this thread.
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
:rofl: :rock: :rofl:

I'm @ the office & am trying to maintain some semblance of professional dignity. It's not working -- you guys are too funny! But the phone thing is soooo 20th century, no? I'm thinking Twitter or Instagram or something...

How about "Imma gonna let you finish but ..."
 
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