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Thread: Crazy future predictions

  1. #136
    Size 7 Knife Boots Sam-Skwantch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpiper View Post
    At the urging of ~Pamina~, I'm bringing the following out of the Yuzuru Hanyu Fan Fest into the wider world to traumatize everyone (excuse me for reviving an old thread, but it seems like a good light-hearted counterpart to the "Medal contenders in next Olympics" discussion):

    In late 2014, young Plushenko suddenly shows up, having been sucked through a time machine. He teams up with Yuzuru Hanyu as a pairs team, after seeing seeing his older self land side-by-side triples with Yuzuru in perfect synch (go to 0:52). They become known as Plushy (self-explanatory) & Mushy (after Yuzu's mushroom haircut, which he quickly re-adopted). Meanwhile, old Plushenko blackmails Speedy into allowing same-sex pairs couples, using a combination of the Sex Bomb muscle suit, a painted apple, and a DSLR camera. How exactly the blackmail took place, I'll leave up to everyone's imagination.

    Plushy & Mushy earn outrageous TES with their side-by-side 4Ts and 3As, and get insta-Level 4 spins by doing side-by-side Biellmanns. Yuzu decides the best way to get all the quads (and stop falling on the dratted salchow) is to have Plushy throw him into them. He gets all the quads sans the axel. They even work on a unique pair move by combining Plushy's Biellmann spiral with Mushy's Ina Bauer. It's not as pretty as Berehznaya/Sikharulidze's spread eagle + spiral combo, but it wows the judges through its sheer weirdness.

    Everything seems to be going well for the pair, heading into the 2018 Olympics as the favourites. However, before the Pyeongchang opening ceremonies, the universe collapses; Plushenko's time-travelling created too many contradictions: in one universe he is a four-time Olympian, while in another he disappeared before Salt Lake and returned as a pairs competitor 12 years later. Sadly, because the world ended, we'll never find out if Koreavengeance would've robbed the pair.

    (I still don't think I managed to top the "combining figure skating with curling" prediction, but I gave it my best shot).

  2. #137
    fairy dust distributor ~Pamina~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpiper View Post
    Meanwhile, old Plushenko blackmails Speedy into allowing same-sex pairs couples, using a combination of the Sex Bomb muscle suit, a painted apple, and a DSLR camera. How exactly the blackmail took place, I'll leave up to everyone's imagination.
    .....damn my imagination

    I've never cared less if the world thinks we're crazy well, doesn't really matter anyway since it's about to end due to the universe collapsing Love it! Now I'm even more looking forward to that limbo-style hydroblading in the Plushy-Mushy synch variation.

    (I'm gonna go now, tell my therapist that the Plushy & Mushy idea was not the 7th sign and that my sanity is very much intact, thank you very much)

  3. #138
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    ^This should be some kind of internet rule: As a predictions thread runs longer, the chance someone says "universe collapses/world ends" approaches infinity. (Did someone beat me to the bunch this time? Maybe someone already said "world ends" earlier in the thread).

  4. #139
    fairy dust distributor ~Pamina~'s Avatar
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    ^ oh, but see, that evens it out again if x approaches 0 regarding the people who think we're not completely nuts, and the chances of us predicting the collapse of the universe approaches infinity, then those two things totally balance each other out. (I guess... I almost flunked my final exam in math)

  5. #140
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    x --> 0
    x = people who think Pamina and Sandpiper are not crazy

    y --> infinity (can't find the infinity symbol on my keyboard, if it was ever there in the first place)
    y = chances someone predicts the end of the world

    The next step is to plot this on a graph or something, and to figure out if these two variables are related (...they're obviously not...) but my subconsciousness tells me I've already messed up the math and therefore the plot won't work.

    (Crazy prediction: I wake up tomorrow and find a million graphs on this thread).

    EDIT: Top 1/8th of this graph: http://www.themathpage.com/acalc/calc_IMG/003c.png As y approaches infinity, x approaches 0. The fewer people remaining who think I'm sane, the more likely someone predicts the end of the world. (I've officially lost it).

  6. #141
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    Do your two nuts realize of all the sk8ing forums in the world to run wild in, this happens to be the one with a Mathman as a mod?

    OK, I may need to edit to clarify that I love nuts, all kinds. But hazelnuts are best in fine chocolate.

  7. #142
    Landing 3As in my dreams! skatedreamer's Avatar
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    Sandpiper/Pamina -- my head is about to explode, but what a way to go!

    SkateFiguring -- figure skating nut (me) covered in fine chocolate = heaven on earth.

    New prediction: chocolate replaces ice as the preferred surface for figure skating.

  8. #143
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    Mirai is national champ again. Ashley drops off the podium.

  9. #144
    Rinkside
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    What about my favorite pairs element? See my user name

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpiper View Post
    At the urging of ~Pamina~, I'm bringing the following out of the Yuzuru Hanyu Fan Fest into the wider world to traumatize everyone (excuse me for reviving an old thread, but it seems like a good light-hearted counterpart to the "Medal contenders in next Olympics" discussion):

    In late 2014, young Plushenko suddenly shows up, having been sucked through a time machine. He teams up with Yuzuru Hanyu as a pairs team, after seeing seeing his older self land side-by-side triples with Yuzuru in perfect synch (go to 0:52). They become known as Plushy (self-explanatory) & Mushy (after Yuzu's mushroom haircut, which he quickly re-adopted). Meanwhile, old Plushenko blackmails Speedy into allowing same-sex pairs couples, using a combination of the Sex Bomb muscle suit, a painted apple, and a DSLR camera. How exactly the blackmail took place, I'll leave up to everyone's imagination.

    Plushy & Mushy earn outrageous TES with their side-by-side 4Ts and 3As, and get insta-Level 4 spins by doing side-by-side Biellmanns. Yuzu decides the best way to get all the quads (and stop falling on the dratted salchow) is to have Plushy throw him into them. He gets all the quads sans the axel. They even work on a unique pair move by combining Plushy's Biellmann spiral with Mushy's Ina Bauer. It's not as pretty as Berehznaya/Sikharulidze's spread eagle + spiral combo, but it wows the judges through its sheer weirdness.

    Everything seems to be going well for the pair, heading into the 2018 Olympics as the favourites. However, before the Pyeongchang opening ceremonies, the universe collapses; Plushenko's time-travelling created too many contradictions: in one universe he is a four-time Olympian, while in another he disappeared before Salt Lake and returned as a pairs competitor 12 years later. Sadly, because the world ended, we'll never find out if Koreavengeance would've robbed the pair.

    (I still don't think I managed to top the "combining figure skating with curling" prediction, but I gave it my best shot).

  10. #145
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    How about a completely nutter 2018 Olympic podium prediction? Here we go!

    Pairs:
    G - Kavaguti / Smirnov (RUS) [I think they'll retire well before]
    S - Savchenko / Massot (FRA) [and then she'll say she wants to go for gold in 2022...]
    B - Castelli / Tran (USA) [if his papers clear]

    Men:
    G - Nguyen (CAN) [I say this because I don't think he'll be at that level until 2022]
    S - Uno (JPN) [ditto]
    B - Martinez (PHI) [lots of potential but he needs more speed and a champion maker to mold him]

    Dance:
    G - B/S (RUS) [a sign that the discipline has become a major bore]
    S - C/B (GBR) [I like them but don't expect them to get that high]
    B - H/D (ESP) [Viva Espana, Viva!]

    Ladies:
    G - Osmond (CAN) ["crazy" prediction right?]
    S - Li (CHN)
    B - Leonova (RUS) [major comeback the way her idol Slutskaya did before her ...]

    Team:
    G - Canada [Chan enters, wins, then pulls a Plushy in the men's SP]
    S - Russia [owing to either Kovtun or Gachinski placing 9th in men's SP]
    B - Japan [because they finally got decent dancers / pairs]

    OK I'm going to lock myself up now ...

  11. #146
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    ^^Two possible narratives:

    1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

    2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

    @Anyanka
    That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting.

  12. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpiper View Post
    ^^Two possible narratives:

    1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

    2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

    @Anyanka
    That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting.
    She'll become the Merlene Ottey-Page of the figure skating world.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merlene_Ottey

    "Her proclivity for earning bronze medals in major championships also earned her the title of "Bronze Queen" in track circles."

    In all seriousness though, I like Aljona and she's a great competitor. I like her drive and ambition, and respect her for it. But I somehow don't think she'll be able to replicate the alchemy she had with Robin. But I do hope she does well with Bruno!

  13. #148
    Landing 3As in my dreams! skatedreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandpiper View Post
    ^^Two possible narratives:

    1) It's still banned for health and safety issues. Sorry.

    2) They were going to try it in Pyeongchang but the world ended first.

    @Anyanka
    That's awesome. But Aliona shouldn't get silver. She should get her third bronze. More fitting.

    3rd possibility: They try it in Pyongchang. The attempt actually brings on the Apocalypse...which is then postponed b/c of a huge judging controversy.

  14. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by skatedreamer View Post
    Sandpiper/Pamina -- my head is about to explode, but what a way to go!

    SkateFiguring -- figure skating nut (me) covered in fine chocolate = heaven on earth.

    New prediction: chocolate replaces ice as the preferred surface for figure skating.
    Not if the alleged worldwide chocolate shortage predicted for 2020 comes true! (Then again I am unsure how accurate that report is, Google it ... )

  15. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by skatedreamer View Post
    3rd possibility: They try it in Pyongchang. The attempt actually brings on the Apocalypse...which is then postponed b/c of a huge judging controversy.
    So the deity of one's choice (Judeo-Christian or otherwise) says "hold the phone! I can't send the four horsemen yet because the TES score was too high!"?? :P


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