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Thread: Queer Eye for the Skate Guy

  1. #1
    Wicked Yankee Girl dorispulaski's Avatar
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    Queer Eye for the Skate Guy

    It is my somber duty to announce to you that with the broadcast of the Marshall's cheesefest that it is now officially the Off Season.

    And in the spirit of the season, it is time for every kind of silly thread. There are so many makeover programs, from you to your house to your car to your boy friend, that I thought it might be fun to make over a few of our favorite skater guys that might need some help.

    Post links to pictures of course!

    No comments about how they skate allowed. This is all about fluff and looks.

    Tim Goebel In a Practice Session

    I'll start with Tim Goebel. Please examine the picture of Tim in the above practice photo with black pants leading into black skates.
    Looks pretty good doesn't he?

    Now check out a page of his competitive costumes:

    Pictures of Tim's competitive outfits, including several really bad ones

    Tim is short and slight of build. These boxy tops that he has been using especially for Romeo and Juliet don't flatter him at all.
    Black pants/black skates make his legs look longer.

    And the black gloves are not a bad touch for him.

    I think I might straighten his hair and give him a punk spike look.
    He has too much of the boy next door look, which is fine when you're skating to American in Paris, but it is time for a change
    Last edited by dorispulaski; 05-10-2004 at 08:09 AM.

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    I actually like Timmy's costumes except for the one where he's channelling Todd Eldredge's Klingon costume.

    I personally think Timmy would look great working a pair of silky pants and an unbuttoned Gucci shirt. He can show off that tight little frame of his.

    http://www.timothygoebel.net/photo.shtml

    Keep clicking on the slide show and you can see Timmy in his striped silk shirt.

    The army pants and tank top need to go!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Wicked Yankee Girl dorispulaski's Avatar
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    The Klingon costume would be the R&J one I don't like.

    He might do a decent afternoon of a faun. Little Horns, fuzzy britches, pan pipes. Slight leer. (there's one that fits in the slide show soogar posted, the one in black and white against a chain link fence.) Tim does happy, bouncing enthusiasm, suitable to a faun, quite well. Just has to inject a little leering into it.

    Any other skaters you'd like to give a makeover?

    What would anyone like to do to makeover:

    Johnny?
    Mike?
    Plush?
    Brian?
    Last edited by dorispulaski; 05-10-2004 at 09:58 AM.

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    Plushy is perfect and I love his mullet. I even love his gloves.

    Johnny needs to get more of an edge on the ice. I think he looks a lot sexier in his off ice photos with Sasha than he does on the ice.

    http://www.sashacohen.com/coitour.shtml

    Scroll down to the second photo under Jenny Kirk and Sasha and note how Johnny and Sasha color coordinated their clothing. I think with a little work Johnny can be the Tom Ford of figure skating (ie gay guy who can pass for straight).

    Mikey: I like Mike's looks but the pants need to be looser. I would like to see him in costumes similar to the ones Todd wears now.

    Brian Joubert is perfect. I like the way he looks.

    I think that the male skaters who wear the best costumes are Todd Eldredge (in his later years and now, he hasn't gone wrong with any of his costumes, except for the horrible ones he has to wear in the SOI group ensembles) and Brian Boitano. I like it when male skaters wear conservative costumes unless they have the style to pull off a flamboyant costume.

    Plushy looks great in his flamboyant costumes b/c of his mullet. I think the rough do adds some in your face masculine arrogance to what might have been a fruity look.

  5. #5
    In my heart, I'm actually Canadian....
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    Re. Plushy's mullet:

    Plushy needs that mullet, IMO. He has such an odd face (and I don't mean that as an insult) that I think he would look absolutely positively ridicolous with any other 'do.

    (Maybe someone on this site who's absolutely bored in the off season, has entirely too much time on their hands, and has a way with websites could create a site like those makover sites where we could take a face pic of our favorite skater and choose new hairdos for him/her)

    [Not me, tho. Tho I am bored in the off season, and tho I do have entirely too much time on my hands, I am one of those people who is lucky if he has turned the computer on without blowing out the monitor, so websites are a little out of my range... ]

    I think Mikey could use a makeover, just from a credibility perspective. It is one thing to put on this big macho image and MAKE SURE that everyone knows that he's married with two children, but then it's another thing to go out there despite this looking like a West Hollywood Party Boy. He needs to be de-fluffed. I'm thinking a spiky buzzcut, no highlights.

    No point in making over Weir yet, IMO. He's still got a few more years of looking like he's 12 before anything might really work. Not much you can really do with that.

  6. #6
    Go NJ Devils
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    Originally posted by soogar
    Johnny needs to get more of an edge on the ice. I think he looks a lot sexier in his off ice photos with Sasha than he does on the ice.

    http://www.sashacohen.com/coitour.shtml
    Scroll down to the seventh -- to me he looks like Keanu Reeves that photo.

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    I'm sorry , but the Max Headroom sunglasses aren't doing it for him.

    Plushy's Mullet: You're right about his odd face. Remember how ugly he looked when he was a 14 and had that traditional short haircut? He needs more hair around the face. I like his hair now but I also liked it when he was working the lion mane as well.

    I just saw previews for the new movie the Village and I know that it's been commented before, but Plushy and Adrien Brody look like Yin Yang versions of the same person with Plushy being light and Brody being dark. Anyway, Adrian's hair is long and wavy in the Village and I was thinking that Plush would look fantastic with long wavy hair.

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    Go NJ Devils
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    Originally posted by soogar
    Anyway, Adrian's hair is long and wavy in the Village and I was thinking that Plush would look fantastic with long wavy hair.
    Plushenko might look good with long, wavy hair, but his hair is baby fine, and I don't think it would stand up to chemical treatments.

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    ~ Evgeni's Sex Bomb ~
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    No, no, no.....Evgeni's dark haired opposite is Edvin Marton. :D (Adrian is a babe, though...) Edvin has this funky shag thing going on that would look great on Evgeni, but I'm not sure his fine hair, as hockeyfan pointed out, would hold it.

    I love Evgeni's hair, I think long and shaggy suits him. I don't know that he looked ugly when he was younger and had short hair, but the short hair made him look his age, if not younger. He looked about 12 the first time I saw him, and continued to look 12 until he took the ice at Bofrost (then Sparkassen) Cup in Nov 2000, with that see through burgundy costume and his new long hair. He definitely wasn't a baby anymore!

    Laura

  10. #10
    Custom Title Joesitz's Avatar
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    Quote of Soogar:

    Scroll down to the second photo under Jenny Kirk and Sasha and note how Johnny and Sasha color coordinated their clothing. I think with a little work Johnny can be the Tom Ford of figure skating (ie gay guy who can pass for straight).

    Would you say with a little makeup Debbie Thomas could pass for white? White being the normal way to be. Of course not. So why the assumption about Johnny being gay. You have no proof as far as I know, so please just let those kinds of comments out of your posts. I can't help but wonder that your obsession of Johnny being gay is some sort of reflection of you. I'm just wondering. I don't think you are a religious bigot who might find fault with gays so it is something else.

    Mr Ford is making a lot of money being an 'out' gay man. That's fine. He's not passing for straight. He is what he is.

    Joe

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    I agree on the resemblence between Yevgeny and Martin as well. Yevgeny definitely can pull off the long hair and sexy look.

    I'm not going to get into the whole gay thing again but straight boys do not color coodinate their clothes to their female friends (unless it's a girlfriend who made them match). As for Tom Ford, whether you like his designs or not, a whole lot of his fame was derived from the fact that despite the fact that he is openly gay, he exudes a straight as an arrow image with sexy masculine style. I think most of the old bags were buying Gucci couture just to get close to Tom Ford.

    I personally don't care one way or the other if Johnny is gay , other than that I don't like an overly feminine image being projected in a man's skating. I also think that comparing him to Tom Ford is a complement considering that Tom Ford is a total babe.
    Last edited by soogar; 05-10-2004 at 02:29 PM.

  12. #12
    Skating Freak Barbie
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    I'd love to see Mike Weiss' pants loosened up a bit. Yeah, you're in great shape and have a good bod and all...but you're a father of two for crying out loud! Have a little modesty!

    Would also like to see a costume makeover of Plush. Although this year, they have not been as cluttered and, um, confusing! He's such a great skater, and a good looking guy, time to tone down the "frou frou" (aka, the Urmanov factor).

    Any man in sequins or ruffles (Or god forbid, BOTH!) needs to go to "Fashions 'R us".

    Kasey

  13. #13
    ~ Evgeni's Sex Bomb ~
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    I love men in sequins and ruffles. But then again, I grew up in the 80s. :D

    Laura

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    and... World Peace! Tonichelle's Avatar
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    I'm not going to get into the whole gay thing again but straight boys do not color coodinate their clothes to their female friends (unless it's a girlfriend who made them match).
    OMG then most of the guys I hang out with are gay and don't know it! only one has a girl friend... and yeah for the most part she tells him what colors he won't wear for certain events... but normally it's the guys in our group who want a certain look I just may have to inform them that they're gay so much for your "proof"

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    Tonichelle: I'm not sure where you are from but while a guy might take advice from a girl on colors etc, do these guys run around with the exact same jacket, clothes and accessories of the girls they are with? I think not unless they are working the goth look and then you see straight guys sharing the same eyeliner and jewelry with their female friends.

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