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Thread: Queer Eye for the Skate Girl

  1. #1
    Wicked Yankee Girl dorispulaski's Avatar
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    Queer Eye for the Skate Girl

    Due to requests for a makeover thread for the ladies, here it is.

    Do you dislike Vika's pastie suit of this last year (or do you really like it)

    How would you dress Yoshie Onda?

    Would you like Michelle in curls?

  2. #2
    In my heart, I'm actually Canadian....
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    Didn't see Vika at all on TV this year, so can't judge that one.

    I've never personally had much of a problem with Onda's outfits, but as far as the blue eye makeup -- and this goes for Fumie Suguri and Miki Ando as well -- THAT HAS JUST GOTTA GO. Blue eye makeup needs to be banned anyway, and on the Japanese ladies for some reason to me it just looks especially trashy.

    Can't see Michelle in curls; I think she'd look OK with a few here and there, but if she's gonna go the full "Annie" route.... um.... NO!!

    I found the biggest style faux pas of the past season to be Qing Pang at the start of the season, when she and Jian Tong had those matching ratted-out haircuts and they both just looked absolutely awful. Was glad to see that they had grown them out and done something about that by the time Worlds rolled around.

  3. #3
    Keeper of Michelle's Nose berthes ghost's Avatar
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    Well, if hired, the first thing I'd do is sit every female Russian/former Russian state skater down and try to convince them that the whole Barbie-Doll/Kitten-with-a-whip look ain't working. Caked on make-up, sheer tops, plunging necklines, shreded skirts, enough sparkles to blind someone...there's line between "sexy" and "how much for an hour baby?.

    Perhaps a slide show of examples? Nicole Kidman: good. Pia Zedora: bad. Grace Kelly: good. Chiaro: bad.

    OMG! My first day on the job and already I've messed up. I totally forget to lecture ont he evil of over processed hair. You really can't swing a cat aroung a practice rink without hitting 20 EE gals with bad peroxide jobs. Last year, Galina M was looking positively Phylis Diller-ish at times. A whole afternoon could be spent on rise an fall of Irina L's hair alone.
    Last edited by berthes ghost; 05-12-2004 at 09:41 AM.

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    In my heart, I'm actually Canadian....
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    It would actually be kind of nice if the Russian Federation put a one-season ban on ANY of their female skaters bleaching their hair. Not necessarily all from a fashion perspective -- some of them look good, some of them do not -- but it's become such a standard rite of passage for the Russian ladies (in all disciplines) to do this that it just doesn't really make any kind of statement anymore except maybe "Oh, they got to you, too, huh?"

  5. #5
    Keeper of Michelle's Nose berthes ghost's Avatar
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    "Oh, they got to you, too, huh?"


    Did you notice that TT fell this season. Maria P is next I think. But a special mention has to go for red, it's Russia's second choice.

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    I hardly think the Russians have an exclusive on hair color. In the US, we saw Sasha go red, Jenny is not a natural blonde, and even Michael Weiss added streaks.

    Certainly in ice dance, hair coloring seems to be a rite of passage regardless of country of origin. (Non Russian examples include Melissa Gregory, Tanith Belbin and Shae Lynn Bourne.) Maybe it stems from ball room dancing's "regulation hair colors."

    Back to costumes - I'd like to see skirts and bottoms that actually cover a skater's derriere (Michelle and Shizuka - I'm talking to you). The only cheeks I want to see are on the skaters' faces.

  7. #7
    Keeper of Michelle's Nose berthes ghost's Avatar
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    Jenny is not a natural blonde
    Neither was Tara. Nicole, Erin and Angela probably "exagerate" their natural color as well. Richard is just the Alfred Hitchcock of skating, every heroine must be blonde. It's apparently a rule.

    I will however venture to add that Jenny and Tara have a more skilled colorist on the payroll than Maria B or Pasha G. Dark roots may have been cool on Deborah Harry back in '82, but not so on any Oly skater IMHO.

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    I'm in the minority here but I like the messy look of the Europeans. American skaters look too polished and manicured. I am so tired of seeing Vera Wang-like (or the actual designer) dresses on American girls. Let's break out the gloves and the weird costumes that actually look like they were designed for the program verses the generic off the runway look. I am so tired of seeing bland pretty on the ice.

    As for the European dye jobs, the skanky over processed look presents a nice contrast to the professional dye jobs of Jennifer Kirk and co. Though the best dye job was that flame red that Marina Anisinna sported in SLC. It wasn't the best red for her (I've seen her in better) but what a statement it made on the ice. Everyone at work was talking about that dye job.

    What I truly hate : Asian girls sporting auburn hair. Fumie, Shizuka and MK (when she had dyed her hair), please go back to your natural black hair. Red hair on an Asian sometimes looks good but most of the time it just looks sloppy and unwashed. Plus black hair is already nicer looking (and shinier) in itself compared to the mousy brown hair which is the natural coloring of most of the gals who get dye jobs.

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    Maria B's bleach job may not have been great, but it was about 1000% improvement over that horrid red ponytail she sported back in the early-mid 90's. I can remember one competition where she wore a green dress that accentuated the horrible red hair sticking out untidily from behind a row of bobby pins.

    For a while she had the blonde hair in the same straggly pony tail, but the year she cut her hair, I sat up and took notice. She actually looked HOT! Up to then, she had just looked looked frumpy.

    What really looked awful was Sarah Hughes' hair in her last eligible season. She was letting it grow out, and it was parti-color blonde. You could hardly see the hair for all the bobby pins holding it back. Ugh! She also wore much too much eye makeup on the outside edges of her eyes and when they did closeups of her looking head on, she actually looked cross-eyed.
    Last edited by chuckm; 05-12-2004 at 11:08 AM.

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    Well this is starting to get a little bitchy

    I like the Asian girls with brown hair - whats so wrong with that? Everyone's entitled to a dye job and I'd rather that than the dayglo streaks emitting from some skaters heads these days

    For me the costumes are a far more serious crime.
    No more shredded skirts. No more random bits off chiffon. And NO MORE bad match flesh coloured unitards with a strip of material to cover your tata's! Eeeenufffffff!!!
    Lets get some class going again girls. Something elegant, understated and chic that lets the skating be the star and not the frock/wedgie/colour clash horrors that get soooo much more bandwidth on these boards.

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    I don't know what a skater can do to prevent a wedgie. Most of the wedgies are unintentional, except for the one sported by Natalia Mishkutonek in 1992 Olympic SP. Some people have butts that won't stay covered and if the seamstress isn't particularly skilled in butt coverage, a wedgie ensues.

    I actually think that all of the American skaters are particularly well put together and well dressed. You don't see any snafus at Nationals (even though people rip on AP's dresses which I think are pretty tasteful, so what if her mom likes to bedazzle). I think they are boring in their monotony. Like it or not, skating is a theatrical sport and the costume should be created to match the music. With the exception of Sasha's first swan dress, none of the American's costumes even bother to match the music. Sometimes you need piecey chiffon and rips to match the music. MK's Tosca costume did not go as well to that music than Irina's Tosca costume. When Sasha skated to Carmen, her costume was generic compared to what Katarina Witt wore in 1988.

  12. #12
    Kwan's vodka dealer VIETgrlTerifa's Avatar
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    What I truly hate : Asian girls sporting auburn hair. Fumie, Shizuka and MK (when she had dyed her hair), please go back to your natural black hair. Red hair on an Asian sometimes looks good but most of the time it just looks sloppy and unwashed. Plus black hair is already nicer looking (and shinier) in itself compared to the mousy brown hair which is the natural coloring of most of the gals who get dye jobs.
    Hey I like my hair dyed!

    About the costumes. Sometimes as skater isn't doing a literal intepretation of the music, but their costumes can still match the mood and sound of the music. For example, Kwan's "Dream of Desdeomona" short program costume. The first one she was was very literal and Elizabethan. The second one was black and very stylish, but I felt both dresses fit the music in different ways. The first one fit because she looked like Desdemona. The second fit because the music was dark and haunting, and the style and color fit the music well.

    Another thing I don't get is why is it the American ladies always get criticized for being monotnous? It's not like any of the other ladies are always doing different things from what they always do. Take Irina S. for example...her LP dress this yeah this look like a cross between her Don Quixote and her black Tosca dress.
    Last edited by VIETgrlTerifa; 05-12-2004 at 04:35 PM.

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    Arakawa's very extreme wedgie at Worlds was due to the fact that she had outgrown that costume! She certainly could have done something about it, like wear a costume that fit her.

    She wore the same black costume during the Grand Prix 3-4 months earlier, and it fit her then. At Worlds, the costume had to be 1.5 sizes too small. The dress she wore in the Worlds exhibition fit her fine and there was no wedgie.

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    Euterpe:
    Considering the cost of a costume, maybe Arakawa didn't want to fork over another $1,500 for a new costume (and that costume might have cost way more than $1500). Plus her wedgie really wasn't that bad. It wasn't obscene or anything.

    I really liked both of Irina's dresses this year (esp the heart one with the cutouts on the sides) and I don't think she needs to go and change her style. I just would like to see the American girls take more risks with their costumes and look more theatrical. I like most of MK's costumes but they are conventionally pretty, what you would see on an actress on the red carpet.

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    I like costumes to be understated. They should compliment the skater and music without becoming an equal partner to the performance. IMO, if you walk away thinking about the costume, the skater picked the wrong costume.

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