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Thread: Why would somebody bring a baby to a wedding? Rant inside

  1. #1
    Custom Title Johar's Avatar
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    Why would somebody bring a baby to a wedding? Rant inside

    My brother and his wife requested that no children under 9 be allowed to the wedding. Weddings are boring for young kids and they soon become fussy. It's their wedding, afterall.

    So, what do I see? A mother dragging her sproggen into the church. Of course the baby started fussing after the ceremony began. "Uhhhh. UHHHHH!" Her toddler age sprog began to whine. I turned around and shot them a dirty look, hoping she would get the hint and take them outside or downstairs. Didn't faze her at all.

    Would I have been out of line and I had gotton up and told her to take the sprogs outside?:sheesh:

  2. #2
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    I don;t understand people who do not listen to the wishes of the bride and groom. It's just plain tasteless and crass to think they're above what is expected of everyone else and subject the couple to something they specifically did NOT want on their special day. Weddings are stressful enough without some a**hole being too lazy to follow the wishes of the couple.

    I said no children under 12 at my wedding and we specifically did not include names of children on the invitations. Only one person brought their baby to the ceremony, but they also did us a favour and stood right outside the doors of the sanctuary and watched through the windows so if the little one started fussing no one would hear. They did not attend the reception, thank goodness.

    If a couple says no children, that means no children. Period. It's their day, let them have what they want.

    editing to say that I have an aunt who hasn't spoken to me in 10 years because we said no children at the wedding.
    Last edited by peachstatesk8er; 05-12-2004 at 10:56 AM.

  3. #3
    Custom Title Johar's Avatar
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    I even had trouble hearing some of their vows over the "Uhhhhhhhhh."

    What a twit of a mom. :sheesh:

    BTW--your aunt needs to get over that. It was YOUR special day.
    Last edited by Johar; 05-12-2004 at 11:12 AM.

  4. #4
    Gliding Along dlkksk8fan's Avatar
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    At my wedding (21 yrs ago) I did have children attend, however my wedding was outdoors and the ceremony was short. They did come to the recepition but with all the music going on and people moving around they didn't cause a problem. However if a bride and groom do not want children at their wedding the guests should abide by their wishes and NOT bring their children!

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    children at weddings

    I know when we planned our wedding, we knew there was the potential for oodles of young ones at the wedding. All of our friends had children, and a number of my aunts and uncles had young ones. Wedding etiquette dictates that only those listed on the invitation are invited, and I wish more people would follow that. I had a few younger cousins that I wanted invited (the ones with manners) so we sent them their own invitation. Not only did they feel special, but it got the point across to those who were not welcome. We also included on the invitation "adult reception to follow". While we did have comments from some family members, I just simply explained that I did not feel the children would be comfortable in an atmosphere where large amounts of liquor would be consumed, and felt it was in the best interests of the children not to be exposed to it. It was the perfect diplomatic way to deal with the issue as the parents honestly felt I was concerned for their children as much as I was concerned with having the perfect wedding - which I did. I had two 17 year old cousins attend, which I had no problem with, but none of the young ones attended.

    I guess I am fortunate!

    Canuck

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    It's unbelievable what some people will do. For horror stories read http://www.etiquettehell.com/

  7. #7
    Custom Title Johar's Avatar
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    I just read some

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    cranky girl guinevere's Avatar
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    I love the etiquette hell website! I'm not going there now, because last time I visited, I looked up and a whole hour had gone by!

    I don't know where this falls on the etiquette mao, but I think that it would be totally appropriate for there to be a designated someone (not the bride or groom, obviously) who could trouble shoot at the wedding - if someone shows up with a toddler after the invitation specifically says no kids, they should be told they have to stand in the back and will have to leave at the first sign of trouble. Just because someone couldn't find a babysitter (or thinks their lil' muffin is the BEST child in the world!) does not mean that the ceremony should be ruined for everyone else - especially the bride and groom!!

    guinevere

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    Custom Title Johar's Avatar
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    I read about a woman who was escourted off church property after bringing her baby. She had been warned by the bride(her cousin) over and over that it was HER wedding and she wanted no kids there.

  10. #10
    Forum translator Ptichka's Avatar
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    My friend had a somewhat different experience. A few days before her wedding, the best man says that his mother is coming for a visit from Russia, and he is going to come to the wedding with her. They had the bridal party sit a table together, so she really did not feel right about having a total stranger sit at that special table. But she couldn't put her anywhere else, since nobody else knew her either! Arrgghh!

  11. #11
    Arm Chair Skate Fan show 42's Avatar
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    Do churches have "cry baby rooms"? The church I attended for years had a sound proof room with a large picture window. Parents with small children could sit and be part of the ceremony without their little ones crying and distrubing the proceedings....42

  12. #12
    cranky girl guinevere's Avatar
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    That's a great solution, if there's one available - but it doesn't negate the incredible faux pas of the person who ignores an invitation that expressly says "no children".

  13. #13
    Da' Spellin' Homegirl Grgranny's Avatar
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    When my son got married his wife hired a baby sitter and there were several took advantage of it and there were no children crying or misbehaving. Think it worked really well. Most churches have some kind of playroom.

  14. #14
    GOLDEN DREAMS RealtorGal's Avatar
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    At our synagogue, babysitters are hired for the High Holidays. That is approximately 9-2 on the 2 days of Rosh Hashanah and the ENTIRE day of Yom Kippur (that's until around 6:30 p.m.) That way people can come to services and not worry about their kids being bored to tears. That would be a possible option.

    Nevertheless, I can't imagine having the gall to show up to a wedding with an uninvited kid in tow. I would have been livid to see kids at my wedding if I had specified that they were not invited.

    As for the aunt who hasn't spoken to you in 10 years--I think that you have lost nothing. Her insensitivity and selfishness on YOUR day tell me what kind of person she is.

  15. #15
    Champion Skater (Vicariously)
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    Ive baby-sat for several weddings and it has always worked out really well. That way the parents can enjoy grown up time and still interact with their kids during the special day. But I agree that if the invite doesnt specify that the children are welcome.... it should be a given that they are not welcome.

    I think babies are a little bit of a different story, especially fresh from the oven ones. Often couples would not leave their newborns with a sitter and wouldnt be able to attend the wedding at all.... so in circumstances where they are very close the bride or groom you would think that they would prefer to have them their with the baby than not at all.

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