Post Nationals Fun | Golden Skate

Post Nationals Fun

Piel

On Edge
Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
Since we have a way to go until Worlds how about a little fun to keep us busy? Be creative and try to imagine what our favorite skaters were thinking as they skated in Portland. No bashing just some good natured fun a kind of written caricature of the skaters we love. I'll go first.


The Sasha Free Skate Time Line

(as she leaves the boards and takes her starting position): " Mr. Nicks is a genious, why did I ever leave him?"

(her music begins): "In 4 minutes I will be Sasha Cohen U.S. Ladies National Champion!"

(30 seconds into program): "Win this one, then Worlds and it will be move over Sarah Hughes Stars On Ice meet your new headliner!"

(1 minute);Touches down on jump. "I don't think anyone saw that."

(2 minutes): Falls. "Darn this Robin Wagner choreography! Kwan can't always be perfect so if she messes up were even."

(2 minutes 30 seconds): "Dick and Peggy shut the f*** up can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?"

(3 minutes): Begins spiral. "Kimmie might have a triple axle but she can't do this!"

(4 minutes): "Why is the crowd not on their feet? I guess I'll have to beaver cleaver them."

(back at the kiss and cry): scores come up "Where in the heck are MY 6.0s?" Nicks tries to console her "Get away from me old man!"

(back stage) talking on cell phone "Mom, Richard Callaghan is available, pack our bags we're moving to Detroit!"
 

Doggygirl

Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 18, 2003
Kimmie Meissner's Mom...l.

"Well Dick, if she's a hummingbird, she's MY hummingbird and you BETTER keep your feeder in your OWN back yard!!"

DG
 

Hikaru

Final Flight
Joined
Sep 23, 2004
:rofl: :rofl:

Why did I had the feeling, Piel, that you where going to start with Sasha ;) ?
My favourite line was:
Piel said:
(2 minutes 30 seconds): "Dick and Peggy shut the f*** up can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?"

I swear sometimes I wish I could get into their booth and tell them just that! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
Joined
Jun 21, 2003
Bolero

Michelle:

0:00 - 3:00: La-de-dah, la-de-dah, number nine, number nine. I wonder if there's a good sushi bar in town."

3:10 (She doubles her solo Lutz): La-de-dah. Oh well. How many times did Sasha fall?

3:40 (starting her footwork): OMG, I'm behind my music!

4:00 (music stops): OMG, I'm still 20 feet away from my ending position!

4:05 (she leaps, flies, lurches, toward her closing pose): OMG, its the Dortmund short program all over again!

4:06 (she skids into position)

4:07 (she throws her hands over her head in a new world record time, 0.75 seconds)

4:08 (her head goes back)

4:09 I'M DONE! LOOK, I STOPPED MOVING!!!!
 

Hikaru

Final Flight
Joined
Sep 23, 2004
Mathman said:
Michelle:

4:09 I'M DONE! LOOK, I STOPPED MOVING!!!!

:rofl: :rofl:
You guys are way to creative!!! I couldn't come up with a Michelle moment for her program...well I haven't seen it so... I could only think for a moment prior to nationals... the costume decission:


**Michelle on the phone with Vera Wang**

Michelle: OK Vera, this is an important costume I want, with Title #9 on the line, Bolero music and all. I want something magical, something that says "this is the new Michelle Kwan", something no one has ever seen me wear before... How about a sleeve-less V-cut golden outfit??

Vera: Right on!!
 

Doggygirl

Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 18, 2003
Lol...

At least MK didn't end up with the V-cut on the bottom as Rena did. I bet Vera protested in that call...

"But Michelle! If the costume only goes over one shoulder, we can only implement Vicky's Secret Insert for one boob! That might look odd!"

Michelle: "Vera, I'll take my chances on the lopsided look."

DG
 

mzheng

Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Mathman said:
Michelle:

0:00 - 3:00: La-de-dah, la-de-dah, number nine, number nine. I wonder if there's a good sushi bar in town."
..................
4:09 I'M DONE! LOOK, I STOPPED MOVING!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Seriously though. Mathman did you really timed the program? I knew she stopped after the musics. But I'm wondering if she stopped after 4:10.
 

mzheng

Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Then it's not warrentee a deduction. But neither a 6.0.

I'm happy she won her 9th title being finally tied with the records, I believe it was one of her childhold dream. Been taught by Frankl I have no doubt of it.

I'm not happy with her performance though. Maybe I expected too much from her.

I'm happy that she is not happy with hewon performance, which means she will geare for the worlds.
 

RealtorGal

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
INOUE/BALDWIN:

00: (John) Okay, here we go. Time to win Title #2.

1:00: (Rena) Uh oh, my dress is bunching up a bit. No biggie.

2:00: (Rena during a lift) Uh oh, that is some tight wedgie I've got going on here. Hope nobody notices.

2:00: (John): Whoa! Rena's looking mighty fine up there!

3:00: (Rena during another lift) Uh oh, this dress is caught really tight! I can't wait to get that stupid thing off of me!

3:00: (John) Whoa, baby, honey, come to your Blond Bomb! The heck with this performance! Silver is fine. I'll even take bronze. Whatever... Who cares with Rena looking so mighty fine! I can't wait 'til she gets that stupid dress off! :biggrin:
 
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Piel

On Edge
Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 27, 2003

TANITH and BEN

Opening pose staring into each others eyes: Ben to self -"She IS gorgeous if I married her it would be Hello Turino!" Tanith to self- "He makes me laugh if I married him we would be Olympic bound!"

30 seconds: Tanith- "Pasha Gritchuk THIS is what a twizzle looks like!"

1 minute: Ben as he lifts Tanith: "She has got to cut back on the ice cream"

1 minute 30 seconds: Tanith "Tatiana may have better line, but I don't have to go home with Sasha Zhulin."

2 minutes: Ben to self-"I really want to go to the Olympics, I wonder what Naomi Lang is up to?" Tanith to self-"I really want to go to the Olympics, I wonder what Viktor Kraatz is up to?"

3 minutes: During lift - "This one's for you sky cam."

3 minutes 30 seconds: Tanith doing that little shoulder shimmy- "If Bill Clinton were still president this move would have just made me a U.S. citizen."

4 minutes: Ben- " I am exhausted but at least this year I don't have to act like a hound dog or bleed to death."

Back in the kiss and cry waiting for their marks: Together as they look at their coach "Who in the heck names their child Igor?"
 
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IDLERACER

Medalist
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
Amber Corwin, Emily Hughes, Danielle Kahle, and about six other skaters:

Hey ABC, what's the deal? If you're not going to broadcast our performances, then why are you showing us warming up? :mad:
 

Kasey

Medalist
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
Mikey Weiss

(00) Where's that d*mn hypnotist when I need him? Okay Mike, you are getting sleepy, you are getting sleepy, you are....zzzzzzzz

(00:45) Brelllyghhh....ooh, wait, what was that? Did I fall asleep? Did I just do my quad? Oooh, maybe if I was asleep for it, I made it on one foot! Hey, am I drooling??

(01:30) Did I do a triple axel, or a double? D*mn, can I do a Tonya Harding and start again? Oh, wait, no, because I just know I landed that quad on one foot.

(02:30) OOPS. Maybe no one saw that. Wow, I wonder why I am feeling so sleepy?

(03:30) Where's Lisa? I bet she's so proud of me, landing that quad on one foot. YAWNNNNNN

(04:20) Almost over, it's almost over, it wasn't too bad, was it? Nah, gotta be better than those junior skaters who don't try a quad. Did I land that on one foot??

(04:45) Okay, time for kiss and cry with my wife. Did ya see, I'm married?? Yeah, I'm married, we have two kids. Wait, where's the kids. Let me show you the kids. See, there's my wife. Where's the kids? Hey, gee, thanks for the football.

(05:30) What????? 5 point WHAAATTT? Did you see my quad? My one foot quad? I know I landed it on one foot. 5 point whaaaaaattt???

(06:30) Hello, IMG? Ya know those SOI shows I'm guesting at? Well, let's have a talk........
 

Hikaru

Final Flight
Joined
Sep 23, 2004
Piel said:

TANITH and BEN


3 minutes 30 seconds: Tanith doing that little shoulder shimmy- "If Bill Clinton were still president this move would have just made me a U.S. citizen."


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh, this one really cracked me up!!!
 

Piel

On Edge
Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
EMILY HUGHES

Back stage cell phone rings, it's big sis Sarah:

(SH) "Em this is Sarah I just wanted to wish you good luck at Nationls. Any questions for your big sis, you know the pro udest moment of my life was winning the OGM!"

(EH ) "Thanks sis! I''m fine, not nervous, gotta go, I'm on next. SARAH I'VE GOT THIS... YOU WORRY ABOUT THE JELLY TOUR AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF NATIONALS! "

(SH) "Tell me about Sasha and remember what I told you?"
(EH)"Sasha looks OK, not too scary tonight, I kept my distance during the warm up. "

(SH) "Did Kwan decide to show up for this one?"
(EH)"Yea, Kwan is here.... new dress, same moves, YAWN...."

(SH) "Tell me about the new girl, does she really have a 3/A?"
(EH) "Kimmmie's nice, a little skinny though. The 3/A looks good in practice....NO, I don't think she can pull a Sarah Hughes SLC. "

(SH) "What's AP wearing? BTW stay away from her Mother she was always wanting to add stuff to my costumes."
(EH) "Ann-Patrice doesn't skate anymore....not a loose rhinestone or feather in sight."

(SH) "Em be sure to do the lutz over in the corner away from the judges."
(EH) "Sarah, newsflash..... I don't flutz!"

(SH) "What are you wearing, is it one of mine?"
(EH) "As if. Sarah, I only wear a size four!"

(SH) "OK, OK, I was just trying to help. Are you sure you don't want to work with Robin, all it would take would be one phone call from me, she is available again?"
(EH) "KEEP THAT WOMAN AWAY FROM ME!!! Mom and Dad have just finished paying for the room she trashed backstage at SLC when she had that happyfit after you won the friggen' OLympics."

(SH) "OK, OK, besides who knows what she's like after working with Sasha. Is there ANTHING I can do for you then, I just want your first senior nationals to be really special/"
(EH) "Yea there is one thing."
(SH) "Name it!"
(EH) "Uhm Sarah, would you please give Steven Cousins my phone number?"

 
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