Sequins and Manhood in the USA

Grandchildren

Hi Dorispulaski -

Thanks so much for your honest response! I truly can sympathize about hearing your child is gay and the desire to see your line carried on through grandchildren. I know my grandparents loved me, and my other brothers and sister have provided them with 11 grand/great/great-great grandchildren between them.

But, could it be possible that an adopted child could become your emotional if not biological grandchild? Think of all the abandoned children, troubled children, children left by their parents etc etc who need a home so urgently. This may shock some people, but I believe that gay/lesbian parents willing to lovingly adopt can help rectify the terrible situations that careless adults creat by taking in unwanted/disrupted children.

Does a child biologically linked to a person create an emotional and spiritual bond automatically? Obviously not, if one looks at the rate of abused and abandoned children. I am just asking here if instead of wishing for biological grandchildren, that perhaps considering the value of grandchildren via adoption could possibly be as emotionally satisfying.

Tenorguy

Grandchildren

I would like to know how they teach the adopted children about male-female roles? I truly doubt that they teach them to be gay as a lot of people may think. I would think they probably want them to be hetero so as not to suffer the treatment they probably receive for being gay. Of course, if they do turn out to be gay, they would surely have much more understanding.
Am I on the wrong path here? Would teachers also think the same way? I formerly thought they shouldn't teach but now I think they would go out of their way to make sure they wouldn't "make waves" for the same reason and also to keep their jobs.

Grandchildren

Grgranny -

It's an honor to reply to you - I've always admired and loved your posts over the past months.

That's a great question you ask: how do gay parents teach male/female roles. I would say that from what I have experienced with my friends who are parents (who are gay) is that they teach what they know about being good productive people, and have strong ties either with their extended family (aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, Grandparents can teach children so much) or their friends. Joe and Frank's daughter has not grown up in a vacuum; she learns about her girlness from other girls at school and from her aunt and her cousins. You know kids, when they are curious, they find a way!! She is a regular girl and her parents protect her, guard her and worry about her as any other committed parents would.

And as a bonus, I don't think she will ever make fun of boys who want to figure skate!

Tenorguy

Re: Grandchildren

Granny - I do believe gay parents have the same family values as do straight parents. I also believe single parents be they straight or gay also have family values.

I also believe that children either sense parental love or they look for it elsewhere, and unfortnately sometimes, in the wrong places. What role models were used for those teenagers shooting up the schools? They all came from straight parents.

Joe

Re: Grandchildren

Tenorguy,
I was able to write about it because I have long since worked my way through it. But that was my immediate, and to me, totally unanticipated response when my oldest son told me he was gay. I had never had any problem with accepting gay or Lesbian people, so my own reaction was as much a shock as was my son's announcement 13 years ago. I truly love my son, and we are very close. He has talked about adoption and other options, but I don't think they will happen. I am sure that if he adopted a child that I would love it as much as any other grandchild. And because he has strong values of his own, I would have no fear of how he would bring up such a child.

Since then, my younger son, whom I thought was never going to settle down and was going to be the eternal Peter Pan & playboy of the Western World, got married and is now a devoted and caring Daddy to a boy and a girl. Unfortunately, the boy who is small built, well coordinated and immensely musical is headed towards soccer, and not skating.

In any case, I'm over it. But it's important for gay people to consider when finally coming out to their parents, that it might be well to wait until siblings have supplied grandchildren.
It would be easier on all concerned.

dpp