Misuse of unhappiness | Golden Skate

Misuse of unhappiness

ladyjane

Medalist
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Country
Netherlands
Maybe this is a wrong subject as a thread, but I just watched the exhibition at Skate America and I had a big problem with the 'jokes'. Not in general, although American humour usually is not mine. No problem, I just don't think it's funny and that's it. But tonight was something else. Why start a silly card game with a guy who is going to skate a tribute to his late younger brother? I think many officials knew Keegan Messing was going to do that. I mean, he was carrying this big photograph around, no secret. And then you ask him to take part in a game about inflated balls or not? Very funny, but not when you're planning to do a skate in honour of your brother. I don't blame the illusionist (how could he know?) but why did they do this? Why not leave him alone and let him do his thing? I was crying when he skated, but also angry with the organisors. Is this just me? Am I too sensitive or something? But I really think this whole thing was abusing the way Keegan was feeling. Not necessary either. Why not do that kind of game with another skater who hasn't just recently lost his brother? Sorry for the emotional content but I can't help it. Is this where we're going...trying to make fun of someone (and not succeeding) who is genuinely grieving? Yuck.
 

DonnaR

On the Ice
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
I felt it was in very poor taste.

I'm also not sure what card tricks have to do with figure skating...
 

ladyjane

Medalist
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Country
Netherlands
I felt it was in very poor taste.

I'm also not sure what card tricks have to do with figure skating...

Well, that last definitely is a point too.It might be to showcase a bit of gambling Vegas, but I didn't get it either. And then picking out Keegan. Poor taste indeed!
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
I doubt Keegan would have agreed to do it if he felt it was inappropriate. I think it is nice that he's being so brave and keeping his smile and sense of humour despite his tragic loss. Sounds cliche but I'm sure his brother would have wanted that.
 

ladyjane

Medalist
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Country
Netherlands
He agreed....but I saw his face. He was so unhappy, He might have agreed beforehand, and maybe I'm making something big out of nothing. Just felt this was wrong.
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
He agreed....but I saw his face. He was so unhappy, He might have agreed beforehand, and maybe I'm making something big out of nothing. Just felt this was wrong.

It's called putting on a brave face and getting on with life, despite his grief. Of course he's not happy, his brother died... but like that Instagram video he posted, he's trying to cope and smile through it.
 

ladyjane

Medalist
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Country
Netherlands
Trying to do fun things can be a way to help cope with the grief. Just 10 days ago Keegan posted this fun video of him backflipping over a friend.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B3amkDhJZuE/

Haha! It's just that his skates (especially his short and his exhibition) make me cry all the time, and I can't stand it that people just walk over it. You're right of course, fun things help cope with grief. But Keegan's face at the end of his exhibition....well it got the tears running and I was just so angry with all those folk thinking he's just such a funny guy. I suspect I'm really just too sensitive here, feeling things he might not have felt. But he was so emotional....as I would be to lose my own brother. Maybe that's the sensitivity here. Thinking of the possible loss of my own brother.....
 

NanaPat

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Country
Canada
I doubt Keegan would have agreed to do it if he felt it was inappropriate. I think it is nice that he's being so brave and keeping his smile and sense of humour despite his tragic loss. Sounds cliche but I'm sure his brother would have wanted that.

He agreed....but I saw his face. He was so unhappy, He might have agreed beforehand, and maybe I'm making something big out of nothing. Just felt this was wrong.

I think it probably didn't occur to him that he could say no.

They did change their plan: in the schedule S/B were shown as following "illusionist" but in reality Tomono did it instead. Someone probably figured out that it wasn't working with S/B.

The illusionist didn't know anything: he made a joke about Keegan not knowing anything about Tom Bradly "because you're Canadian".
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
Haha! It's just that his skates (especially his short and his exhibition) make me cry all the time, and I can't stand it that people just walk over it. You're right of course, fun things help cope with grief. But Keegan's face at the end of his exhibition....well it got the tears running and I was just so angry with all those folk thinking he's just such a funny guy. I suspect I'm really just too sensitive here, feeling things he might not have felt. But he was so emotional....as I would be to lose my own brother. Maybe that's the sensitivity here. Thinking of the possible loss of my own brother.....

Keegan is strong, he could have pulled out of Skate America completely but he didn't. I'm not sure I'd be as strong as that.

His emotions are clearly all over the place and that's normal. It's okay to be sad and crying one minute yet smiling and trying to have fun the next. Keeping himself busy won't do him any harm either, although it's been hard for him to concentrate.
 

theharleyquinn

Medalist
Joined
Feb 25, 2014
The organizers could have done more to be respectful to the skaters. I realize they want to make it a fun event, but they need to take the sport and athletes seriously as well. It even goes down to little things like when interviewing Anna, taking a bit more care to not excessively use a lot of slang so that she can understand the questions being asked. She did, of course, but there's always room to be more considerate.
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
Vegas is a bit tacky and tasteless tbh, no offence to anyone who lives there or loves to go there, but it is.

I can't say I'm surprised it was more than a little cringey
 

NanaPat

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Country
Canada
I believe Keegan is going on auto-pilot at the moment, just trying to get through what he feels he has to do. In the "card trick" act, he was clearly not trying to distract himself by having fun, but was trying to get through it.

I don't think the illusionist or MC did this deliberately to exploit his grief: they are just clueless. It's too bad someone organizing the show, his coach Ralph, someone from Skate Canada, or one of the other skaters didn't object on his behalf.

Note to future gala organizers: check with the team leader before asking skaters to do something "extra" other than skate their chosen exhibition number. There may be good reasons they should not be "chosen", that you have no idea of.

I don't think this incident was especially harmful for Keegan. There are a lot of difficult things that he is going to have to get through, and this was just one among many.

It does, however, make the Skate America organizers look incredibly tacky.
 

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.
Record Breaker
Joined
Mar 3, 2014
Country
United-States
I agree with Keegan did not appear to mind, but it did seem particularly clueless.

At least the tacky between skates activity fits with Vegas :shrug:
 

viennaskater

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
I was surprised that Skate America was held in Las Vegas in the first place. It just doesn't seem appropriate.

I haven't seen the gala yet, though.
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
I was surprised that Skate America was held in Las Vegas in the first place. It just doesn't seem appropriate.

I haven't seen the gala yet, though.

It was pure Vegas cringe and then some.
Still worth watching, of course, some great performances to make up for the WTH in between parts.
 

Coryocris

Praise our Little Bear
On the Ice
Joined
Mar 25, 2018
Country
Germany
I doubt Keegan would have agreed to do it if he felt it was inappropriate. I think it is nice that he's being so brave and keeping his smile and sense of humour despite his tragic loss. Sounds cliche but I'm sure his brother would have wanted that.

True. He could've thought that something funny was right to do for his brother's memory too. Us westeners think of death as a gloom and grief time with no fun allowed, but somethimes that is what you have to do. IDK, maybe Paxon liked magic tricks. Keegan doesn't appear to be bothered by it and we shouldn't think further than that.
 

WednesdayMarch

Nicer When Fed
Medalist
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Country
United-Kingdom
I didn't get past Keegan Messing's heart-rending performance. I was a mess after watching that and couldn't face any more of the tacky between exhibitions stuff.
 

Mishaminion

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
I mostly ignored the inbetween nonsense. The later performances are worth going back and watching if you get the chance.
 

WednesdayMarch

Nicer When Fed
Medalist
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Country
United-Kingdom
I mostly ignored the inbetween nonsense. The later performances are worth going back and watching if you get the chance.

I've done some of that now. Couldn't pass up a chance to watch Jason Brown. I enjoyed his performances by far the best, both in the competition and gala. The gala performances were mostly disappointingly anodyne. It's almost as if the music was just there to prevent silence for many of those programs.
 
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