Attention Dr. Watson!

Attention Dr. Watson!

<em>Edited to add "Mystery Solved"--see next post</em>
The clues to the mystery of
Rgirl MBPBSMIEDB
Are mostly, Dr. Watson, epistolary
True the last trio was not included
But it means a way by which Rgirl is saluted
Indeed the name is a favorite of those on a forum deluded
Into thinking her posts, like Mrs. Scarface's womb, are polluted
But the first magic seven you have seen in a hail
Of descriptions of Rgirl via electronic mail
The meaning of which you will solve without fail
But in solving the crime of what each letter means
I assure you it adds up to no more than beans
And as I am sure you will deduce
Come from the same source beans eaten produce
So solve away, Watson, solve away ho!
But, soft, reveal these deep meanings to only those who need know

Rgirl

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

<div style="text-align:center">So far
In the history of the world
Vincent van Gogh and Eric Clapton got the same birthday.
Flannery O'Connor and Lenny Bruce got the same deathday.
On the day Goethe died in 1832, Groucho Marx was born in 1891.
Jack Kerouac was born on the day the Girl Scouts was formed.
Henrik Ibsen and Ozzie Nelson were born on the Vernal Equinox.
Nothing else happened on the day Uranus was discovered.
On the day Elvis died, Charles Bukowski celebrated his 57th birthday.
Twenty-three years after Tennessee Williams was born,The Popeye Statue
was unveiled at the Spnach Festival in Crystal City, Texas. When Michelle Kwan won
her fifth World Championship in Ladies Singles Figure Skating, a math professor in Michigan breathed again for the first time in five days. Shortly after the 2003
World Figure Skating Championships, Rgirl discovered the Unified Theory
of the Universe, expressed as MBPBSMI/EDB. That is, the
Unified Theory of the GS Figure Skating Universe.
I would say things have worked out
pretty well in the world.
So far.</div>

<div style="text-align:center">Rgirl,
Monstrously Bawdy Painfully Beelzebubian Statistical Miss Instructor and Endlessly Divergent Babbler</div>

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

OK
how did you
do that?

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

........................OK.......................
.................How did you..................
....................do that?....................

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

OK
How did you
do that?

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

<div style="text-align:center">Aha
Like that.
I see.
Very clever.
What else do you know how to do?</div>

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

The day that Uranus was discovered, March 13, 1781, was the birthday of the famous painter and architect Friedrich Schinkel, in Brandenberg.

Re: Never mind, Dr. Watson

To the tune of "Tomorrow Comes" from Les Miz.

.....Oh.....
<strong>M</strong>ichelle, Michelle, Michelle,
<strong>B</strong>aby you cast a demon spell,
<strong>P</strong>ity this humble swine who swears you're fine
<strong>B</strong>y ev'ry oath in hell.

<strong>S</strong>o to you I sing this song,
<strong>M</strong>aybe I've got the meter wrong,
<strong>I</strong>'m just a pig, a pig who can't get enough of Kwan!

from Freddy, Rgirl's <strong>M</strong>acho-<strong>B</strong>ad <strong>P</strong>ig-<strong>B</strong>oy, <strong>S</strong> & <strong>M</strong> <strong>I</strong>nstructor and <strong>E</strong>xtra-<strong>D</strong>uty <strong>B</strong>oar

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>What else do you know how to do?[/quote]
"What Else Do You Know How To Do?"
For that, LJB,
You will have to ask Freddy,
He never says, "Maybe,"
Just, "Baby! I'm ready!"

"GS Triplet"
There once was a girl from GS
Who would make such a terrible mess
If she mentioned Michelle
She was cast off to hell
In her role as Devil in a blue dress


There once was a girl named Rgirl
Who caused many posters to hurl
With her posts oh so long
As if penned by King's kong
Though her wit was the size of a squirrel's


There once was a poster so surly
She was known on GS as Rgirly
What she thought were jokes
Some folks took as pokes
In the place where they sat and went twirly


"Fredth Meets Death and Rgirl Steals from Emily"
As I stepped aside for Fredth
Fredth kindly stepped aside as he
Said, Yo, b****! Where you think you be!
You almost jammed yo' hoof in me!


"Michelle and Freddy Have a Chat"
Fredth is a Dialogue between
The Skater and Skate
"Jump" says Fredth--The Skater "Sir
I have another mate"--

Fredth doubts it--Argues from the ice
The Skater turns away
Gaining speed at such a rate
So rare for blades made out of nice


"Downtown"
I could tell you more lore
But snore what a bore
With Freddy around
We have plenty of clown
And lots of amore
With skaters galore
The boar sure is a hound
And loves to go down
On the bus to downtown
Where hot skaters are found
In abundance you see
For just Freddy and me
Just Freddy and me

R

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

"Fredth is a Dialogue?" I don't get it?

Mathman

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

Let me help. The 'core of Rgirl's poem is the question, "What is the Skater fleeing from?" Is she afraid of the Jumpmaster?

Or does she fear the Fredth within her own pure soul?

Freddy

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

??? Well, anyway, Rgirl's poems are very disturbing. They don't have a uniform rhyme scheme and instead are sprinkled with intriguing internal half-rhymes. And their metre changes unexpectedly -- they are hard to sing along to, as to a television jingle.

I will show you how to write a good poem.

Mathman and the Skater -- A Dialogue

She skates away on blades of nice
With apple blossoms in her hair;
She's dropped a glove upon the ice!
Her sweetness lingers in the air.

See? Like that.

Mathman

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

Mathman and the Skater -- Two Monologues

She skates away on blades of nice
With apple blossoms in her hair.
She's dropped a glove!
His hand remains.

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

Mathman, you call a limerick a "complex rhyme scheme"? Guys make these up in bars.


"For Mathman"
There once was a Man name of Math
Who was in league with the Wife of Bath
Said he, when it comes to Michelle
Things for me really gel
But instead I'll take your Chaucerian wrath


Pretty lame, I admit, but I'm making this up in a bar. If I were you, I'd study with Freddy. Freddy's phat
Rgirl

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

I always thought that a true Limerick had to have the word "Nantucket" in it.

I tried to make one for you and Ilia Kulik, but the only thing that rhymes with Kulik is "makes her goo leak, and she carried it home in a bucket." (And Curly says, let's just nyuk, nyuk it.)

Now I am trying to understand yours. Here is what I found out about the Wife of Bath:

"In Arthur's day, before the friars drove away the fairies, a lusty bachelor of the king's court raped a young maiden. He is taken and condemned to die (such was the custom then) but the king, in deference to Queen Guenevere's pleas, allows the ladies to judge him. They tell him he can save his life only if a year and a day later he can tell them what it is that women most desire. He wanders long without finding the answer; he is about to return disconsolate when he comes upon an old and remarkably ugly woman. She says that if he swears to do whatever she will next ask him, she will tell him the answer. He agrees and returns with the answer: women most desire to have sovereignty over their husbands. Guenevere and her ladies are amazed; they grant him his life. The old woman then makes her demand: that he marry her. She will accept no less. On their wedding night; he turns away from her. She asks him what is the matter. He answers that she is old and ugly and low born. The old woman demonstrates to him that none of these matter -- especially noble birth, since true gentilesse depends on deeds rather than birth. She offers him the choice: he can have her old and ugly and faithful or young, beautiful, and possibly unchaste. He tells her to choose; he grants her the sovereignty. When he does so she turns into a beautiful maiden, and they live thereafter in perfect joy."

So this where Freddy goes wrong. Give your lady the sovereignty, Fredth, and you will live thereafter in perfect joy.

Mathman, secure in his knowledge of "what women most desire"

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

Anybody can write a limerick with "Nantucket" in it. These are limericks of high art, gravitas, challenge. BTW, I realized I left out the POV in the third line of the "Man of Math." Kind of messes up the rhyme scheme, but remember, you're in a bar, you're drunk, meter is rather mushy.

As for no rhyme for Kulik, remember, the Russian pronunciation is koo-LEEK, but since becoming Americanized, Ilia goes by KOO-lick. You can also always rhyme with Ilia. Also, as you know, I'm all for more assonance in my rhyme schemes rather than holding to strict rules of glottal stops and whatnot. For example:

There once was a skater named Kulik
Who inspired his fans to "Just do it"
Close your eyes, said he
And pretend that it's me
Plug in, relax, and go to it

Or

There once was a skater named Ilia
Who said, God, do I have a deal for ya
Give me Katia to get
With a skating duet
And we'll make a sweet baby to wheel for ya


BTW, my interpretation of the Wife of Bath reference is that since Michelle has always been about inner beauty to Mathman (I know, for Freddy the Pig it's her panties), then of course the Man of Math would be in league with the Wife of Bath, who represents the triumph of inner beauty and faithfulness over physical beauty and callow personality. As your quote says, "True gentilesse depends on deeds rather than birth." Who emobodies that more for Mathman than Michelle?
Rgirl

Re: Nevermind, Dr. Watson

:rollin: :rollin:

BTW, isn't "never mind" two words?

I mean, aren't "never mind" two words?

Nevermind.

You have penetrated to my soul, Rgirl. The Wife of Bath. Inner beauty. Faithfulness. Chastity. (You did mention chastity, didn't you?) Kind deeds to small animals.

Of course Michelle is a little bit pretty on the outside, too. But that is her inner purity shining through.

BTW, I have to give you your propers for rhyming Jay-Bee with Maybe.

But about Emily, I do have a serious question regarding her poetry. I learned once (on that old sitcom Head of the Class. I think that John Travolta was in it as Barbarosa) that every Emily Dickinson poem could be sung to The Yellow Rose of Texas. Here are the first two lines of some of her famous poems:

Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me.

The distance that the dead have gone
Does not at first appear.

From us she wandered now a year,
Her tarrying unknown.

I felt a clearing in my mind
as if my brain had split.

I have not told my garden yet
lest that should conquer me.

It’s all I have to bring today
this, and my heart beside.

Look back on time with kindly eyes,
He doubtless did his best.

This is my letter to the world
That never wrote to me.

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise.

Where ships of purple gently toss
On seas of daffodil.

So that is my model for being a great poet. Find your favorite song and stick to it. My favorite song is When You Wish Upon a Star by Jiminy Cricket. So now I am going to write ten poems to Michelle, all to that tune.

In the meantime, don’t let

Eelya
Anneal ya.

(<strong>In case anyone else is reading this besides the three of us, who all know what anneal means, of course, I will give a definition.</strong> Anneal: to heat something up quickly, then let it cool very slowly in order to render it more pliable.)

Bruno, the Man of Math. For Bruno, see

pub94.ezboard.com/fgolden...=685.topic

Neverthink, Dr. Watson

It's Nevermind as in Neverland. Or for me, more like nobrainer.

And I KNOW what <em>anneal</em> means. I did chemistry labs. I cook pudding.

Bruno
You know
It's just not
You, Oh

Lar
By far
Is very who
You are

So this Emily D. poem goes to "The Yellow Rose of Texas"?
<em>Silence is all we dread.
There's Ransom in a Voice--
But Silence is Infinity.
Himself have not a face.</em>

And what if my favorite song goes "Lady Sniff [can't write the rest but this is how it goes]"?
Okay, I'll try.

Mister Kulik skates like hell and hell is what I want
Black and yellow vinyl-bellowed costume he does flaunt
He goes fast and jumps way up to take you for a ride
Mister Kulik keeps it smooth and man can that man glide
(There's a nasty (nastier) version of that last line that has a certain brand of lubricant in it--I mean auto engine lubricant of course--but trying to keep it PG...for Freddy's delicate ears.)

Guitar riff, blades scratching ice, guitar riff, somebody swearing in Russian, guitar riff, sound of body falling on ice

Mister Kulik black and yellow skated something blue
Everything the gods required that night he could do
He hit every jump there was plus more just to be bold
Mister Kulik's perfect program got him Oly gold

Guitar riff; sound of blade leaving ice, silent beat, sound of blade landing from jump; guitar riff, applause; guitar riff; Tatiana Tarasova screaming

Mister Kulik took his gold and went to Hollywood
Made a crappy stupid movie just because he could
Then he signed with SOI to see what he could do
Mister Kulik joined the show and then he stole it too

Guitar riff; Scott Hamilton grumbling about height and hair; guitar riff; sound of blades miked for sound; guitar riff; a woman whispering in Russian

Mister Kulik, Stars on Ice, the show he soon did rule
Ladies loved him, men did too, they knew that he was cool
On the tour they paired him with the lovely Widow G
Mister Kulik lifted her in ways we could not see

Guitar riff; snip from "Baseball Cap"; guitar riff; a man and woman whispering in Russian; guitar riff; a crying baby

Mister Kulik and the Widow made themselves a pair
People talked and people bitched, "However would they dare?!"
She produced a baby girl and he stayed out to skate
Mister Kulik won more gold: two daughters and a mate

Guitar riff; sound of Americans griping; guitar riff; snip of "Rubberband Man"; guitar riff; laughing baby


Admittedly corny for me, but my computer's battery is almost dead so it's lame. In the original B-Hole Surfer's song the guitar riff parts go something like:
Guitar riff, belch, guitar riff, toilet flushing, guitar riff, heaving sound, vomit in a bucket


Here's Rgirl's Michelle poem a la Dickinson:
Blue and Illusion up to the Neck
Pink as Lotus Flowers
Glorious for the Worlds in Spring
Michelle in finest Hours

Time for late-night Italian cinema. De Sica tonight!
Rgirl

Re: Neverthink, Dr. Watson

R, you are totally stomping on me on this thread. How can you do this so quickly? Stop wasting your talent for this audience of two (me and Freddy), however appreciative , and get on with your serious writing for publication. :smokin:

I edited my previous post to make clear what audience I was lecturing to about the process of annealing.

But now here's the amazing thing. Your poem to the tune of Lady Sniff is actually to the tune of...The Yellow Rose of Texas!

"Mister Kulik skates like hell
And hell is what I want.
Black and yellow vinyl-bellowed
Costume he does flaunt..."

Time out. "Black and <strong>yellow</strong> vinyl <strong>bellowed</strong>?" I am speechless with admiration.

Going on with the Yellow Rose:

"He goes fast and jumps way up
To take you for a ride.
Mister Kulik keeps it smooth
And man that man can glide."

Time out. "Man that man"!!!!!!

Did the other version have anything to do with IK's friend KY (Kristi Yamaguchi)?

"...On the tour they paired him with
The lovely widow G,
And the Yellow Rose of Moscow was
The only girl for he."

Lar.

Yes, Lar.

Lar. Lar.

Re: Neverthink, Dr. Watson

How do you know this stuff <strong>isn't</strong> my serious writing for publication?

I'm starting to think "The Yellow Rose of Texas" matches the meter for every popular song every written.

BTW, KY, no. Astro, yes.
Rgirl