- Joined
- Aug 30, 2003
My husband's kidney specialist has given him 2 to 5 years to live, he has diabetes and his kidneys are only functioning at 35%. A lifetime of poor dieting, almost never excersizing and smoking since he was a teen has finally caught up with him. His doctor says that even if he stops smoking (which he did about a year ago) watches his blood sugar and exercises daily, his kidneys will still only function at 35% but then they will gradually give out and he will have to go on dialysis.
My dilemma:
My husband has inherited a substantial amount of money from his grandmother, (five figures) his mother wants him to move down to W.Va and buy the house she's living in with his inheritance. My husband is all for this idea. His mother grew up in the house and now has a 1/sixth share in it, meaning that in her father's will he stated before he died that the only way the house could be sold is if all of the kids agreed to sell it, and the profits were split in six ways for all six kids , well the house was appraised and they are agreeing to sell it and his mother is willing to kick in a substantial amount of money to ensure that that we will be able to afford it. She will still be living there with us if we buy the house. The house will be put in my name so that I will have some security if my husband and motherinlaw die before me.
Her reason for being so generous? She knows she's getting on in age and her son, her only child, doesn't have that much longer to live so the doctor's say ,so of course she wants to spend as much time with her son as she can. She's down there by herself and is very lonely. I don't really have a problem living with her, we've done it before and it is a big house (three levels) but I've never lived anywhere else but here in Maryland, my hometown, my whole life. It's not that I'd hate having to get used to new surroundings and all the change that goes along with moving even though that would be a major pain to me, but my family is here, my mother, and all my sisters but two who live in Fla. and Alabama. I guess I look at them as my support and if I move away from them and move down there I don't know if I'll be able to bear living by myself(we dont have kids) in a big house should my husband and mother in law die before me. I don't want to be selfish about this. Who am I to begrudge my husband time with his mother in his final days? My husband says I have to choose between my family and having a home that will be paid for or almost paid for. He wants me to have security for the future and he wants to leave me something substantial after he's gone, I just wish the house wasn't so far away, my family and I are very close. He doesn't want to buy a house here because we wouldn't be able to get as nice a house here for the money we have and if we bought one here his mom wouldn't be pitching in.My husband says he doesn't want to make me do anything I don't want to do (which is move so far away) but that if we don't move he doesn't want me to ever say that he didn't try to take care of me. So I guess I will just grow up and move down there, I would be plain stupid not accept a house that is just about paid for right? afterall , I can't see my family all of the time, right?
My dilemma:
My husband has inherited a substantial amount of money from his grandmother, (five figures) his mother wants him to move down to W.Va and buy the house she's living in with his inheritance. My husband is all for this idea. His mother grew up in the house and now has a 1/sixth share in it, meaning that in her father's will he stated before he died that the only way the house could be sold is if all of the kids agreed to sell it, and the profits were split in six ways for all six kids , well the house was appraised and they are agreeing to sell it and his mother is willing to kick in a substantial amount of money to ensure that that we will be able to afford it. She will still be living there with us if we buy the house. The house will be put in my name so that I will have some security if my husband and motherinlaw die before me.
Her reason for being so generous? She knows she's getting on in age and her son, her only child, doesn't have that much longer to live so the doctor's say ,so of course she wants to spend as much time with her son as she can. She's down there by herself and is very lonely. I don't really have a problem living with her, we've done it before and it is a big house (three levels) but I've never lived anywhere else but here in Maryland, my hometown, my whole life. It's not that I'd hate having to get used to new surroundings and all the change that goes along with moving even though that would be a major pain to me, but my family is here, my mother, and all my sisters but two who live in Fla. and Alabama. I guess I look at them as my support and if I move away from them and move down there I don't know if I'll be able to bear living by myself(we dont have kids) in a big house should my husband and mother in law die before me. I don't want to be selfish about this. Who am I to begrudge my husband time with his mother in his final days? My husband says I have to choose between my family and having a home that will be paid for or almost paid for. He wants me to have security for the future and he wants to leave me something substantial after he's gone, I just wish the house wasn't so far away, my family and I are very close. He doesn't want to buy a house here because we wouldn't be able to get as nice a house here for the money we have and if we bought one here his mom wouldn't be pitching in.My husband says he doesn't want to make me do anything I don't want to do (which is move so far away) but that if we don't move he doesn't want me to ever say that he didn't try to take care of me. So I guess I will just grow up and move down there, I would be plain stupid not accept a house that is just about paid for right? afterall , I can't see my family all of the time, right?