if you're a figure skater, what would you be?

I'd be a female singles skater. Since I'm tall and blonde, I'd go for the looks of Kiira Korpi, with the flexibility of Julia Lipnitskaya, with Akiko's lightness, musicality, and interpretation, the jumps of Miki Ando, and Carolina's basic skating skills. I would have the charisma and wit of Johnny Weir, who, incidentally, would also design my costumes

I would train with Brian Orser iin Toronto. My choreographers would be Pasquale Camerlengo and Rohene Ward, and I would skate to, for example, Nina Simone's Feeling Good, Sibelius's Valse Trieste, and Norihiro Tsuru's Last Carnival.

I would represent Iceland and would become the first Icelandic skater to win the Euros. Despite my awful competition nerves, I would have a long and pretty successful career and would be remembered for my beautiful lines, musicality, exquisite spins and dynamic jumps

After my competitive career I would remain active in the sport and eventually become the president of the ISU. I would promptly kick out the speedskaters and ask active skaters and coaches to help revise the judging system so that it rewards more the things that the skaters do well and gives the skaters more freedom of expression, especially in the FS.

An Icelandic Kostner. How exciting! Will there be any dRaMa on IcE? Bootlaces breaking up, crashing into the boards, withdrawing 1 minute before you're due to skate, etc?

If you rule the ISU, please bring back the 6.0 system. But alas, Speedy will outlive everyone.

Matilda - I like your style!

Hmmm...this is an interesting thread. I don't have a graceful bone in my body, so I would probably be more "athletic" ala Tonya Harding or Surrya Bonaly (without the knee wacking or tantrum throwing) lol.

Putting my (lack of) ability aside, I would want to be Sasha Cohen with the consistency of Michelle Kwan.
Coach: Maybe Brian Orser or Carla Fassi
Choreo: Myself or David Wilson
Music: Anything Mozart. Especially Eine Kliene Nachtmusik and Requiem In D Minor (Introitus & Kyrie)
Costumes:Elegant. Maybe something in silver or blue. Nothing to flashy.

BlackPack said:

1
World Junior Champ at 12!?! You must a Yuna-Yagudin-Plush-Michelle-Lambiel turbo combo!! Suddenly, those nerves of steels just started deteriorating as soon as you reached 15. Meltdown thereafter, the skills you had at 12 just vaporized

Click to expand...

You got it I'd just let my celebrity status get into my head and neglect my training in favour of more shady pursuits a la teenage rebel. Finally, I'd take up pro poker and win my first World Series of Poker Main Event bracelet at 18. Then I'd retire for good, get married and make a bunch of kids and become a world-class figure skating/pro poker coach

Matilda said:

After my competitive career I would remain active in the sport and eventually become the president of the ISU. I would promptly kick out the speedskaters and ask active skaters and coaches to help revise the judging system so that it rewards more the things that the skaters do well and gives the skaters more freedom of expression, especially in the FS.

Click to expand...

Please can you still do this, pretty please???

shellbell757 said:

Hmmm...this is an interesting thread. I don't have a graceful bone in my body, so I would probably be more "athletic" ala Tonya Harding or Surrya Bonaly (without the knee wacking or tantrum throwing) lol.

Putting my (lack of) ability aside, I would want to be Sasha Cohen with the consistency of Michelle Kwan.
Coach: Maybe Brian Orser or Carla Fassi
Choreo: Myself or David Wilson
Music: Anything Mozart. Especially Eine Kliene Nachtmusik and Requiem In D Minor (Introitus & Kyrie)
Costumes:Elegant. Maybe something in silver or blue. Nothing to flashy.

Click to expand...

A fan of Sasha, Michelle, and Mozart can't be devoid of artistic ability

TMC said:

You got it I'd just let my celebrity status get into my head and neglect my training in favour of more shady pursuits a la teenage rebel. Finally, I'd take up pro poker and win my first World Series of Poker Main Event bracelet at 18. Then I'd retire for good, get married and make a bunch of kids and become a world-class figure skating/pro poker coach

Click to expand...

Any scandals?

Originally from Matilda: "After my competitive career I would remain active in the sport and eventually become the president of the ISU. I would promptly kick out the speedskaters and ask active skaters and coaches to help revise the judging system so that it rewards more the things that the skaters do well and gives the skaters more freedom of expression, especially in the FS."

Best idea I've heard/seen anywhere all day!

Speedy was born in 1938. Still around. There were a couple of years that I couldn't watch skating continuously due to where I lived didn't broadcast skating. When I started watching again thanks to Youtube, I realized Speedy was still there. I thought, "So much has happened in the past few years, he's still there?" He looked older obviously, but he still looked quite healthy.

As fans we want all these changes, but figure skating unfortunately isn't a mainstream sport. Its popularity ebbs and flows. Figure skating doesn't have a lot of power in itself. As a subjective sport, it is difficult to regulate. It's actually amazing the system is still functional at all, given just about every competition has some sort of controversy and disgruntled reactions. Even with football/soccer, at times the referees can change the outcome of the results based on their subjective interpretation. We can't rule out human error to judge other human beings' performances.

In any case... I look forward to Mathilda's changes after her leggy Icelandic blonde skating career finishes with record-breaking achievements

BlackPack said:

In any case... I look forward to Mathilda's changes after her leggy Icelandic blonde skating career finishes with record-breaking achievements

Click to expand...

Working on a time machine/multi-cloning device as we speak... Behold, the Icelandic beauty, Ingrid Frankensdottir, will soon take the skating world by storm! First we take Pyeongchang, then we take Lausanne!

BlackPack said:

Any scandals?

Click to expand...

There'd be rumours going around that one of my students bought her ladie's singles OGM with the cash she won at poker in Vegas, but they wouldn't find any proof

You guys are a riot Everyone, what are your most outrageous exhibition numbers?

My partner and I would venture out and wear costumes made out of completely nude fabric and "subtly" re-enact the Kama Sutra

I am still a skater but nowhere near what I'd consider my ideal.

Jump Quality of Hanyu
Edges/Skating Skills of Chan
Artistry of Takahashi/Kwan
Power/Consistency of Stojko/Yagudin/Plushenko
Spins of Ruh
Flexibility of Lipnitskaia

BlackPack said:

You guys are a riot Everyone, what are your most outrageous exhibition numbers?

My partner and I would venture out and wear costumes made out of completely nude fabric and "subtly" re-enact the Kama Sutra

Click to expand...

I'd pay to watch that!!!

I'd do an ethereal "story of Arwen and Aragorn" number with my ice-dancer girlfriend/future wife

This thread is a hoot! It's making Monday a lot more bearable.

BlackPack said:

You guys are a riot Everyone, what are your most outrageous exhibition numbers?

My partner and I would venture out and wear costumes made out of completely nude fabric and "subtly" re-enact the Kama Sutra

Click to expand...

Ever heard of the ballet "Petit Mort?" You could take your inspiration from that....

As for my ideal skating self... if I had a time machine and could go back to when I was six and desperately wanted skating lessons, but was told "no," then I'd go and convince my parents to sign me up. And then I'd convince my mini-self to start stretching for turn-out so that I could change my hip angle, and to work really hard, and I might be in business, as long as I could avoid getting speed skater thighs.

My favorite ladies' skater of all time was Sasha. I'd cross her with Mao Asada, take lessons in mental toughness from Plushenko (his best trait), and jump lessons from Ouriashev and then I'd rule the world. After eight years of that, I'd decide my hip joints couldn't take the triple axles any more, and I'd switch to ice dance. Sadly, I'm too tall for many partners, so I'd have to clone Andrew Poje instead of talking Johnny Weir into coming out of retirement to try dance.

(On a side note, if Johnny and Tara ever decided to try dance for fun, I would pay to see that!)

Music: I have a penchant for lovely piano music or violin concertos, but my coaches would talk me into other genres once in a while
Costumes: pastels or jewel tones with a hint of retro and well-placed crystals
Coaches: John Nicks primarily, Ouriashev for jumps, and I'd borrow Shpilband for competitions to which Nicks wouldn't travel. I'd have been the right age to have Tcherkasskia do some of my artistic coaching as a young skater. Shpilband when I switched to dance. If Nicks retired, I'd contact Orser or Frank Carroll. I do best with a slightly cranky male coach who is willing to be strict.
Choreographer: I'd hope to work with several, but I would LOVE to work with Kurt Browning. I'd also try Shpilband, especially after I switched, and would be curious to work with David Wilson, Philip Mills, and (probably for exhibitions after I retired), Rohene Ward. I wonder if Rohene does adult programs... I don't live too far from Chicago. Hmmmm..........
Favorite Exhibition: I've always wanted to do a "Toy Soldier" Christmas program. Also, I'd go completely outside my competition zone and try some Led Zeppelin.

BlackPack said:

You guys are a riot Everyone, what are your most outrageous exhibition numbers?

My partner and I would venture out and wear costumes made out of completely nude fabric and "subtly" re-enact the Kama Sutra

Click to expand...

Well, subtlety can be overrated at times, especially when you're talking...errr...exhibitionism.

For exhibitions, I think that those huge padded Sumo suits that are used for silly intermission amusement at hockey games are underused in figure skating. Perhaps a lovely and delicate piece of traditional Japanese music skated to in a Sumo hockey suit would demonstrate wide variety of art and sport in Japan. Something for everyone, if you will.

CanadianSkater, do you compete as well?

Olympia, *hands you a cocktail*

TMC, any chance of a re-enactment of what happens behind closed doors? Who would be your wife?

Moonlight, I'd love to see your programs. I googled Petit Mort... and there I was thinking I was so original

skatedreamer, subtlety in exhibitionism... food for thought.

desert, I think we'd make better skaters than some of the top skaters today