Crazy future predictions | Page 12 | Golden Skate

Crazy future predictions

skatedreamer

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Country
United-States
I've said this before in another thread but I'll include it here in a variation now that we have more information:

The German feds won't release Aljona, the French won't give up Bruno, funding becomes an issue. So to sidestep sitting out an entire year of competition and to keep things simple, Ingo Steuer comes out of retirement and partners with Aljona. They are consistently on the podium from 2015-18. After their gold-medal-winning FS in 2018, Ingo drops onto one knee on the podium and asks Aljona to marry him. She says yes, and the entire arena erupts, social media melts with this combination Olympic triumph-engagement, and everyone lives happily ever after.

No, I'm not sharing what I'm smoking.

How about baking it into some brownies? :biggrin:
 

Sandpiper

Record Breaker
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
I've said this before in another thread but I'll include it here in a variation now that we have more information:

The German feds won't release Aljona, the French won't give up Bruno, funding becomes an issue. So to sidestep sitting out an entire year of competition and to keep things simple, Ingo Steuer comes out of retirement and partners with Aljona. They are consistently on the podium from 2015-18. After their gold-medal-winning FS in 2018, Ingo drops onto one knee on the podium and asks Aljona to marry him. She says yes, and the entire arena erupts, social media melts with this combination Olympic triumph-engagement, and everyone lives happily ever after.

No, I'm not sharing what I'm smoking.
:clap: Ingo will be over 50 by 2018. What an inspiration this would be!
 

zamboni step

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Time for my glorious return to GS:

Julia grows to be seven feet tall and weighs 300 pounds, nevertheless she becomes the first lady to land a 10A
and wins the Olympic platinum medal. Although this turns out to be her own delusions due to being high on
hallucinogenics sold to her by Kristi Yamaguchi who was particularly strapped for cash. She is, however,
offered a spot in the new secret KGB due to her domineering physique and cold nerves. Unfortunately she abuses this power to
stare menacingly at other agents during practices. The KGB fan forum explodes with rage over these stares.
Because us this she is then deported.....by firing her from a cannon, she lands in the middle of the Sahara
(how's that for traveling? ;)) and spends the rest of her days living happily with her Shaman husband she
found amongst the dunes.

Polina Edmunds, having taken the Summer off to promote her own line of low fat German sausages called "I can't
believe it's not Bratwurst" severely regresses. She does however make the team as the rest of the US ladies
field mysteriously die in a tragic poisoned Bratwurst incident.

Tarasova brings Adelina to Paris to train her in the ways of feeding the TEB pigeons, trying to work some
Karate Kid mojo on her. Adelina however being the "Lying cheater she is" clubs the pigeons to death rather
than feed them. Tarasova secretes the corpses away and later has them sown into her furs. Eventually Adelina
is prosecuted for these actions but she's found "Guilty of fabulousness" and let off the hook. She and Tat
later dedicate their lives to recreating every episode of "The Golden Girls" in their shared cabin in the
woods.

Kim Yu-Na proposes to Mao Asada and Mao says yes, the weddings is held in Korea and all of the figure skating
stars are invited (though few show up as they believe it's a hoax to get wedding gifts). Their life together
is strenious at first as all Mao wants to do is skate, leaving Kim behind to cook and clean and look after the
baby, even if the baby is just a sack of flour Kim is pretending is a baby. Eventually they get divorced and
Mao is tragically killed in a freak giraffe stampeed. Kim finds comfort in Daisuke's arms and eventually they
marry and join an American cult commune and are never seen again.

Ashley Wagner complains on a talk show that I haven't given her a storyline, she then becomes a Shaolin monk
and it's discovered that when you shave her head she looks like a British man.

Gracie Gold goes to prison for "Mass racism" but is broken out by Miki Ando, who's baby has been a small
explosive device disguised as a baby the whole time. She uses this to detonate the prison walls and Gracie
escapes to freedom. Miki's reason for this is her feelings of kinship with the other "Unartistic, lutz
jumper". Gracie decides skating isn't for her though and becomes a Zumba coach, Sky-Fly attends every class to
attain her "HollyWood body type".

Lastly Mae Berenice Meite is revealed to have been holding Yretha Silete captive the whole time, and is
sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. When it is realised this is too harsh, she's given fifty hours
community service, the service being rubbing Yretha's feet. Yretha attempts to take to the ice but it is
discovered the animal print she wore was the source of her power. And Mae burned it, so after some girl-time
bonding, they open a small boutique together that specialises in animal print. Gracie calls this "Typical" and
is sent back to prison for a repeat offense.

Because every other skater on the planet is caught up in some equally insane and possibly offensive story,
Risa Shoji and Fumie Suguri tie for gold in 2018. Mainly because Fumie bribed the judges with her pension money and also threw her heart pills onto the ice when Risa was skating. In whole during that competition there was a total of 400 UR calls and 50 downgrades. They both scored 5.20 overall.

On that note, anyone know where I can get a good therapist and some seriously effective meds? I'm clearly in need.

P.S Carolina Kostner starts an illustrious career as a drag king with Elizaveta Tuktamisheva.......make what you will of that. :slink:
 

Pamigena

Record Breaker
Joined
Feb 17, 2014
On that note, anyone know where I can get a good therapist and some seriously effective meds? I'm clearly in
no, don't do it, don't take away the crazy, too funny :rofl:
you already had me with the Bratwurst incident, but the Golden Girls cabin and the Ashley monk nearly killed me :laugh:
whatever you're taking, I want a piece of it!
 

Sam-Skwantch

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”
Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Country
United-States
Welcome Back zamboni step!! I knew this thread would be one you'd enjoy. You didn't however update if Adelina is still secretly doing level 1 spins but magically concealing it as a level 4? Inquiring minds....
 

skatedreamer

Medalist
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Country
United-States
Tarasova brings Adelina to Paris to train her in the ways of feeding the TEB pigeons, trying to work some
Karate Kid mojo on her. Adelina however being the "Lying cheater she is" clubs the pigeons to death rather
than feed them. Tarasova secretes the corpses away and later has them sown into her furs.
Eventually Adelina
is prosecuted for these actions but she's found "Guilty of fabulousness" and let off the hook. She and Tat
later dedicate their lives to recreating every episode of "The Golden Girls" in their shared cabin in the
woods.

On that note, anyone know where I can get a good therapist and some seriously effective meds? I'm clearly in


...and the pigeon feathers show up later in the season on some ice dance costumes.

re: "Golden Girls," are we talking maybe a program for double same-sex pairs or something?

Just when I thought this thread was getting decidedly un-crazy (and feeling very disappointed), along comes zamboni step. Hooray! :bow: :party2: :points: No meds for you, zamboni -- if it ain't broke, don't fix it! :biggrin:
 

zamboni step

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Welcome Back zamboni step!! I knew this thread would be one you'd enjoy. You didn't however update if Adelina is still secretly doing level 1 spins but magically concealing it as a level 4? Inquiring minds....

Obviously the pigeon blood is an ingredient in the masking ritual for her spins. Keep up! ;)
...and the pigeon feathers show up later in the season on some ice dance costumes.

re: "Golden Girls," are we talking maybe a program for double pairs or something?

Just when I thought this thread was getting decidedly un-crazy (and feeling very disappointed), along comes zamboni step. Hooray! :bow: :points: No meds for you, zamboni -- if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

:jaw: How did I not think of that??? Of course it's a pairs routine, just when I thought I had the market corned, you one upped me! :p Thank you all! I'll mention you all in therapy. :laugh:
 

Sam-Skwantch

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”
Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Country
United-States
My crazy Prediction of the day: The GS server catches fire today as Yuzu's SP is released and the GP assignments are announcements. At some point every Yuzuru fan will become overloaded and recieve an error code from their brain that simply flashes "Can't Compute" or a slight variation " Won't Compute" forcing them into a robot like state and the only option is to walk to the nearest couch/bed and sleep it off for 1hr. This will give the GS mods time to tame the flames on the servers and unclogging the "what's new section" very briefly. During that short window I will post severel more stupid photos of cats watching Yulia skate and pawing at her on flat screen tv's .... Yes I have more in the reserve.....birds too:slink:
 

Sandpiper

Record Breaker
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Their life together is strenious at first as all Mao wants to do is skate, leaving Kim behind to cook and clean and look after the baby,
Something about this sounds... oddly plausible... to me. Always felt like Mao was more skating/competition obsessed than Yuna.
 

anyanka

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
Obviously the pigeon blood is an ingredient in the masking ritual for her spins. Keep up! ;)


:jaw: How did I not think of that??? Of course it's a pairs routine, just when I thought I had the market corned, you one upped me! :p Thank you all! I'll mention you all in therapy. :laugh:

Just read your post ... I am in awe of you and await the day you write either fan fiction or a screenplay based on all this.

:bow:

Welcome back! Post crazy non-troll things often!! :clap:
 

Meoima

Match Penalty
Joined
Feb 13, 2014
"Keyboard Wars" -- the next great piano competition! (sorry, couldn't resist :slink:)
The next Horowitz or the next Richter? Or Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli who had never missed a note in public?

Behold Kissin, Trifonov! The next generation is coming!

I think some of Yuna and Mao's fans should try their talents on the piano. :laugh:
 
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