A Question? | Golden Skate

A Question?

galacticRye

Spectator
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Hi, I've been skating since I was 11.
I've stopped skating a 9 months ago, because a competition brought down my confidence and middle school was in the way. Now that I feel better, I feel like I'm ready to go back.
But I also feel really nervous.
Should I go back? I miss skating so much, I'm just worried all the kids are ahead of me, and I'm just not supposed to belong there.

Edit: Thank you everyone for answering. I realized I should just do it again, because it makes me happy.
I continue going to the rink, and surprisingly, I can still do most of the tricks I learned in my private lessons.
Although I know I might not be able to do lessons anymore because of money issues, I can still skate at the rink.
I've also picked up a new hobby, and now I play ukulele. I guess skating will be another hobby for another time.
 
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Violet Bliss

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 19, 2010
Sort out the truths and the beliefs. Always ask yourself any thought is a truth of a belief. You can change your beliefs that are mental blocks.

Truths are you feel better and ready to go back, you miss skating, and also that you are nervous. I guess you are usually happy to skate, true?

That all the kids are ahead of you and you're not supposed to belong there are fears and beliefs. They are not true and not real. You can replace them with positive beliefs that boost your confidence and remove your nervousness.
 
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karne

in Emergency Backup Mode
Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 1, 2013
Country
Australia
Kiddo, I was twice your age when I started competing, and I was competing against kids about your age. You get over the "I don't belong" feeling real quick when that happens. You have to.

Let's talk about this statement: "all the kids are ahead of me". Honey, go look yourself in the eye and try and tell yourself that. Don't be surprised if you can't, because it's patently untrue. Are you seriously telling me your rink has no adult skaters, no mid-teen beginners? There will always be a smaller fish just as there will always be a bigger fish. At your age Plushenko was already off to Junior Worlds. But at your age I'd never been skating in my life.

If you love skating, then go back. Sure, you'll have lost some ground and some time because of the time off the ice. So what? Just means you gotta work hard and get it all back. Go for it!
 

uhh

Medalist
Joined
Nov 19, 2013
Hi, I've been skating since I was 11.
I've stopped skating a 9 months ago, because a competition brought down my confidence and middle school was in the way. Now that I feel better, I feel like I'm ready to go back.
But I also feel really nervous.
Should I go back? I miss skating so much, I'm just worried all the kids are ahead of me, and I'm just not supposed to belong there.

I think the most important thing to remember is that, really, you're only competing against yourself. You can't control what the other skaters do, but you can control your own performance - so if you do decide to compete again, try not to think about your placement in comparison to how everyone else does, just think of it in terms of your own performance, like "at this event, I want to try to score at least X points", or "at this event, I want to get all my spin levels or land xyz jumps."

People have to take time out of competing all the time, whether it's because they are injured, or can't commit to the practice time, or money, or they just aren't in the right headspace. It doesn't mean that they don't "belong" when they start thinking about coming back. And skaters mature at different rates - some people are killing it aged 12, and then they grow and lose their jumps, other skaters are late bloomers. Recognizing that you weren't in the right place a few months ago and taking a break is a big thing to do, but it seems like it was the right decision at the time! Have confidence in yourself, you sound like you are already approaching your skating in a very mature way.

The other thing to consider is that skating doesn't have to be competitive or individual - there are lots of other ways to enjoy the sport. Maybe it's worth seeing if there's a synchro group or theatre on ice in your area. Even if you do end up competing through this path, it's within a team and a generally more supportive environment. Or see if there's anywhere that does social ice dance - at my rink we have 2 hours a week where they play the compulsory dances & everyone just has a go doing as much as they can, no pressure, just fun and the more experienced skaters are always happy to explain new dances to anyone who wants to learn.
 

tstop4me

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 2, 2015
Country
United-States
I'll leave it to those who compete, or have children who compete, to chime in with pep talks. I want to restate and emphasize some points voiced by uhh. Skating and competing are separate activities: you can skate without competing, and you can compete without skating. If skating competitions are getting you down, you don't have to give up the joy of skating: just skate for fun and do the best you can. I didn't have the money and the time when I was younger. I started private lessons when I was 62. I'm still struggling with a scratch spin, while little girls are literally skating circles around me, doing flying spins and jumping doubles. But I'm happy when I'm skating, and that's what matters.
 

vlaurend

Final Flight
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
No matter what, there will always be skaters who are better than you and there will always be skaters who are worse than you. When I was your age, I didn't take skating lessons because I wasn't going to be in the same group as my friends, who were more advanced than I was. Because I let that get in my way, I ended up not taking lessons until I was in my late 20's. I look back and think of all the skills I could have mastered if I'd just done it back when I was your age. No, you won't be as good as the kids who've been doing it since they were 5 years old, but you'll be a whole lot better than those who haven't started yet! And, BTW, you don't need to compete if you don't want to. You can just test your MIF and freestyle and continue each test as your own personal challenge. You could also do Showcase or Theater On ice competitions which are more creative and fun than other types of competitions.
 
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concorde

Medalist
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
I miss skating so much.

The above quote is what you wrote. Based on this, then I really believe you need to continue.

Competitions can be tough for everyone regardless of the skater. All skaters have bad competitions and if one says they haven't, they are lying. This past summer when my daughter was having a tough time, I remember one extremely nice girl telling me that she remembers some competitions where nothing worked. That was in June; this girl won Nationals (at her level) this past January!

Remember ice skating is a subjective sport so even on your best day, there is no guarantee that the judges will score you well. So you just need to know that you are giving it your all and hope for the best.

And if you really enjoy skating, then stick with it. Consider yourself lucky to have found something you enjoy at such a young age.
 

loopy

Final Flight
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
If you have been skating since you were 11, that is 5th/6th grade, so now you are in 7th/8th.

Here is my thought as a parent of a 13 year old....

Skating is very expensive. Even if you just take a single class, it's about $100 every 6-8 weeks. You need skates and skate time. There needs to be a commitment. I don't care how my daughter does but I can afford 60 minutes of lessons a week and skating 5 hours a week. I expect her to work hard and make progress. At the amount I spend, she is not going to the Olympics, so her progress is measured in testing and confidence. If she is happy and working, I don't mind the expense.

Would I let my daughter continue skate if she lost confidence and quit? Probably not. I can spend x amount on activities she could try - longer piano lessons, art lessons, tutoring, she could learn to surf or take sewing classes or get Disney membership, college savings, trips across the country or world alternating every year. She can learn to love something more than skating.

If she loved skating and regretted quitting, I'd offer to pay half and have her get a job (babysitting, selling artwork, mother's helper, tutoring) to earn the other half...I think I would do that - it would show that she loved it enough to work for it.
 
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