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- Mar 7, 2015
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Every year, after worlds.... we go hard with this crazy prediction threads.
I think layback started it last year but I haven't see her around lately... so if I may, I thought I would kick it off...
Disclaimer : this is supposed to be for entertainment only, unrealistic posts are very welcome. Please be kind and focus on creative humour
When we say "Crazy Predictions" it means that we are certainly not trying to predict the future as it should or could happen... For instance, posts like "So and so" will win the Olympics shall be saved for other threads if they are quite plausible or even remotely plausible... This is to avoid upsetting fans of such and such skaters....
So here are a few to start the ball
1)Joannie Rochette, proud that the Canadian ladies have earned 3 spots, decides to come back from retirement, putting on hold her studies in medicine. She qualifies second, and is put on the team event. Canada wins Gold. She carries the flag at closing ceremonies 8 years after Vancouver... I cry so much that I ruin my carpet.
2) In an attempt to get the second spot for Canadian men, a crazy quad battle happens : Keegan Messing, Conrad Orzel, Nic Nadeau and Nam Nguyen all land 4Lo and 4Lz in the short program and are ahead of Patrick and Kevin who only brought 4s and 4t. A huge protest among the fans occurs. Justin Trudeau intervenes and declares that the 4lutz is a luxury item and will then be taxed, 25% is taken off from its base value. Patrick and Kevin now top the standings and qualify for the games. Keegan Messing, pissed off, competes for the USA where there is no tax on the 4lutz and qualifies for the games with Nathan Chen and Vincent Zhou.
3) The Japanese federation is very concerned about which 2 ladies to send to the games. They conduct simulation competitions every 2-3 weeks... and end up being more and more confused as a different lady wins every time... They finally decide to put the names of the top ten at Japanese nationals in a hat and draw. Kaori and Mao go to the Olympics.
4) Miki Ando gives birth to a wonderful daughter just before the Olympics. Javier Fernandez decides to spend quality time with his family and withdraws from the event.
5) Korea, after hearing that Joannie and Mao are going to the Olympics pressures Yuna Kim to come back from retirement in the hope of reenacting the Vancouver podium. Yuna throws them in for a loop
with agreeing at first and then makes sure she pops her jumps in the SP at her only event allowing her to get her TES minimums.
6) In an attempt to popularize the sport, the ISU makes mandatory Adam Rippon's costuming style, no sleeves, mesh fabric, anything that shows off the assets. Patrick Chan is furious and decides to wear board shorts and a loose tank top. Yuzuru shows up sleeveless but all the feathers he had ordered to cover his arms (he is skating to Swan Lake) are recycled into wings attached to his back. The British Eurosport Guys say in unison, when Yuzu lands his quad axel : wow !!! this boy can certainly fly. Javi, watching from home tells Miki he is very relieved as suspenders don't really work with sleeveless shirts.
7) Shin Amano is chosen to be on the tech panel for the ladies. Half of them withdraw before the event fearing carrot soup indigestion.
8) After having practiced with no success the 3A throw all season, D/R decide to replace it with the 3lz throw. However, Meagan realizes she actually can control the 3A as a solo jump and she and Eric become the first couple to land SBS 3A jumps in both the Sp and Lp at the games. Aliona gets very angry about missing the gold again and announces she will compete in Beijing. GS breaks down.
9) The Chinese federation in an attempt to get a better dance team for the team event puts Han Yan and Zijun Li together. Lori Nichol creates programs for them and they win Nationals.
10) This thread is going to hit 20 pages by WTT
I think layback started it last year but I haven't see her around lately... so if I may, I thought I would kick it off...
Disclaimer : this is supposed to be for entertainment only, unrealistic posts are very welcome. Please be kind and focus on creative humour
When we say "Crazy Predictions" it means that we are certainly not trying to predict the future as it should or could happen... For instance, posts like "So and so" will win the Olympics shall be saved for other threads if they are quite plausible or even remotely plausible... This is to avoid upsetting fans of such and such skaters....
So here are a few to start the ball
1)Joannie Rochette, proud that the Canadian ladies have earned 3 spots, decides to come back from retirement, putting on hold her studies in medicine. She qualifies second, and is put on the team event. Canada wins Gold. She carries the flag at closing ceremonies 8 years after Vancouver... I cry so much that I ruin my carpet.
2) In an attempt to get the second spot for Canadian men, a crazy quad battle happens : Keegan Messing, Conrad Orzel, Nic Nadeau and Nam Nguyen all land 4Lo and 4Lz in the short program and are ahead of Patrick and Kevin who only brought 4s and 4t. A huge protest among the fans occurs. Justin Trudeau intervenes and declares that the 4lutz is a luxury item and will then be taxed, 25% is taken off from its base value. Patrick and Kevin now top the standings and qualify for the games. Keegan Messing, pissed off, competes for the USA where there is no tax on the 4lutz and qualifies for the games with Nathan Chen and Vincent Zhou.
3) The Japanese federation is very concerned about which 2 ladies to send to the games. They conduct simulation competitions every 2-3 weeks... and end up being more and more confused as a different lady wins every time... They finally decide to put the names of the top ten at Japanese nationals in a hat and draw. Kaori and Mao go to the Olympics.
4) Miki Ando gives birth to a wonderful daughter just before the Olympics. Javier Fernandez decides to spend quality time with his family and withdraws from the event.
5) Korea, after hearing that Joannie and Mao are going to the Olympics pressures Yuna Kim to come back from retirement in the hope of reenacting the Vancouver podium. Yuna throws them in for a loop
with agreeing at first and then makes sure she pops her jumps in the SP at her only event allowing her to get her TES minimums. 6) In an attempt to popularize the sport, the ISU makes mandatory Adam Rippon's costuming style, no sleeves, mesh fabric, anything that shows off the assets. Patrick Chan is furious and decides to wear board shorts and a loose tank top. Yuzuru shows up sleeveless but all the feathers he had ordered to cover his arms (he is skating to Swan Lake) are recycled into wings attached to his back. The British Eurosport Guys say in unison, when Yuzu lands his quad axel : wow !!! this boy can certainly fly. Javi, watching from home tells Miki he is very relieved as suspenders don't really work with sleeveless shirts.
7) Shin Amano is chosen to be on the tech panel for the ladies. Half of them withdraw before the event fearing carrot soup indigestion.
8) After having practiced with no success the 3A throw all season, D/R decide to replace it with the 3lz throw. However, Meagan realizes she actually can control the 3A as a solo jump and she and Eric become the first couple to land SBS 3A jumps in both the Sp and Lp at the games. Aliona gets very angry about missing the gold again and announces she will compete in Beijing. GS breaks down.
9) The Chinese federation in an attempt to get a better dance team for the team event puts Han Yan and Zijun Li together. Lori Nichol creates programs for them and they win Nationals.
10) This thread is going to hit 20 pages by WTT
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Although she's attempting throw 3As at 33 now, so it wouldn't surprise me if she becomes the Oksana Chusovitina of figure skating. 
And Patrick passive-aggressively revolting with loose clothes like a hero. Also Yuzuru's purple pants will become standard, everyone is awkward about it expect Yuzuru who doesn't understand it until someone explains the very high online-fan-approval-rating and he just turns into an actual swan à la gala due to awkwardness 
