Former figure skater says she was abused by partner who killed himself

Mathman · May 27, 2019

^ I was referring to the quotes in this article.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/spor...re-grooming-abuse-probe-safesport/3053528002/

Just taking the quotes at face value, it seems like SafeSport is crying that the sky is falling, while not being as vigorous as it could be in holding it up.

I don't know. It is easy for me to sit back and complain, not so easy to formulate a plan for a broad-scale remedy. I guess my biggest disappointment is that SafeSport and USFS seems to be adversaries here, when they should (to say the least) be on the same page.

ice coverage · May 27, 2019

Mathman said:
^ I was referring to the quotes in this article.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/spor...re-grooming-abuse-probe-safesport/3053528002/ ...

Yes, I saw that you gave links to that article.
It's just that your pointed comments (about the accuracy/trustworthiness of Brennan's quotes) seem to be belaboring something else, and I don't know what/why.

:giveup: But I will let the thread move on.

formersk8ter · May 28, 2019

We can all be 100% sure that JC cannot and will not possibly harm another human being.

andromache · May 28, 2019

formersk8ter said:
We can all be 100% sure that JC cannot and will not possibly harm another human being.

This is correct. It is through very unfortunate circumstances that this is the case, however.

If the allegations are true, then chances are extremely high that others in the sport were aware of the abuse occurring and chose not to report it, or even to cover it up. This is what needs to be investigated going forward.

It needs to be SOMEONE's responsibility to investigate that. USFS seems to want SafeSport to do it. SafeSport isn't doing it because Coughlin is no longer a threat, and it is extremely disappointing that they are unwilling or unable to. USFS should hire an outside team to investigate.

karne · May 29, 2019

formersk8ter said:
We can all be 100% sure that JC cannot and will not possibly harm another human being.

But it seems that this is not so, and that his actions are still causing harm to some even today.

drivingmissdaisy · May 29, 2019

karne said:
But it seems that this is not so, and that his actions are still causing harm to some even today.

I honestly think people's complaints are less about the JC case specifically than the overall lack of interest the USFSA has taken in pursing a safer sport for predominantly younger (and more vulnerable) women and girls.

hippomoomin · May 29, 2019

Exactly. The victims are still living through their trauma now if not the rest of their lives.

karne said:
But it seems that this is not so, and that his actions are still causing harm to some even today.

el henry · May 30, 2019

If John Coughlin did in fact abuse anyone, those persons will in fact live with the results of trauma and abuse. Those are results of former abuse, not continuing abuse.

That sad reality does not change the fact that @formersk8er is right. John Coughlin will not abuse anyone in the future. John Coughlin cannot be restrained from abusing someone in the future. Therefore, as far as John Coughlin specifically, as an individual is concerned, there is nothing to restrain and nothing to investigate.

These distinctions are extraordinarily important if the intent, as I think is everyone’s intent, is to prevent abuse and to remedy it. The approaches would be completely different, and conflating the two would help no one.

Sugar Coated · May 30, 2019

el henry said:
If John Coughlin did in fact abuse anyone, those persons will in fact live with the results of trauma and abuse. Those are results of former abuse, not continuing abuse.

That sad reality does not change the fact that @formersk8er is right. John Coughlin will not abuse anyone in the future. John Coughlin cannot be restrained from abusing someone in the future. Therefore, as far as John Coughlin specifically, as an individual is concerned, there is nothing to restrain and nothing to investigate.

These distinctions are extraordinarily important if the intent, as I think is everyone’s intent, is to prevent abuse and to remedy it. The approaches would be completely different, and conflating the two would help no one.

Exactly. Well said.

RobinA · May 30, 2019

karne said:
This argument leaves me uncomfortable.

Coughlin chose to end the investigation in just about the worst way possible: a way that gives no-one any closure and ensured there would be a huge backlash against the victims.

If anything...it could be viewed as one final act of control, one final act of abuse.

It could be viewed that way, but that certainly wouldn't be very helpful in understanding the situation and ones like it. Coughlin killed himself because, whether or not he did anything, he saw himself in a situation that he didn't see any other way out of. A frequent motivation for suicide. It's never a bad idea to view and treat all parties in these situations as humans rather than personifications of some abstract notion - unstable, evil, whatever. They are all human.

Former figure skater says she was abused by partner who killed himself

Mathman

ice coverage

avatar credit: @miyan5605

formersk8ter

andromache

karne

in Emergency Backup Mode

drivingmissdaisy

hippomoomin

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.

Sugar Coated

RobinA

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