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Thread: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

  1. #1

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    Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    I conducted an interview with acclaimed fashion diva, Ms. Holly Would, concerning Sasha Cohen's new LP dress. Here is the transcript:

    Fetal: Please to comment on fashion:
    Fetal: That's the precious little figure skater Sasha Cohen and her new dress which she designed herself.

    Ms. Holly Would: Well, I don't hate it. But it would look better on me

    Fetal: Here's the back of it:
    Fetal: Darn, I was hoping there'd be something meaner you'd say!

    Ms. Holly Would: Her favorite designers would spit on that dress, though.

    Fetal: Flatchested people should not wear extreme V-necks, right?

    Ms. Holly Would: Well, flatchestedness is IN right now.
    Ms. Holly Would: Women in the know are going to extreme measures to make their chests smaller.
    Ms. Holly Would: Doctors are performing WAY MORE breast reductions these days... they outnumber implant procedures ... something like 3:1.
    Ms. Holly Would: Unless you're a porn star ... being small is IN.

    Fetal: Why is that?

    Ms. Holly Would: Well, clothing just isn't designed for breasts anymore.
    Ms. Holly Would: It's all about hips and belly-buttons now.
    Ms. Holly Would: Emaciated gypsy woman has replaced the DDD monsters of the 90s.
    Ms. Holly Would: It's just like in the 20s. Women taped their breasts under their armpits so they could have flat chests.
    Ms. Holly Would: And they HID their breasts beneath layers and layers of fringe.
    Ms. Holly Would: Look at flapper dresses.
    Ms. Holly Would: Then compare with fashion today.

    Fetal: I see, so it's all cyclical

    Ms. Holly Would: Sleek lines ... androgynous curves ... boyish hips...
    Ms. Holly Would: 36 - 24 - 36 is OUT

    Fetal: What does that mean for drag queens?

    Ms. Holly Would: It means we need less birdseed

    Fetal: Birdseed?

    Ms. Holly Would: Birdseed makes good breasts.

    Fetal: Oh is that a company?

    Ms. Holly Would: No ...
    Ms. Holly Would: It's the stuff you feed to birds.

    Fetal: Wouldn't it get crunchy?

    Ms. Holly Would: Yes -- everyone has a secret.

    Fetal: Wouldn't it make evil birds peck your boobs to death?

    Ms. Holly Would: LOL
    Ms. Holly Would: I've seen girls fill old pantyhose with birdseed, and then cover it with silk. It molds to the human body well.
    Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons work, but they burst under pressure.

    Fetal: Birdseed sounds like a practical solution for Ms. Cohen
    Fetal: If she ever needs breasts
    Fetal: But who needs the mammaries?

    Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons would freeze on the ice.
    Ms. Holly Would: Even a waterBRA would freeze.
    Ms. Holly Would: Her falsies would become projectiles.
    Ms. Holly Would: Knocking out the Eastern European competition ...

    Fetal: She's been known to attack other skaters.
    Fetal: I have to send this to her people, they'll love the idea.

    Ms. Holly Would: Hehe!
    Ms. Holly Would: Drag Queens make good friends.

    Fetal: Damn straight!

    Ms. Holly Would: When my friend went to New Orleans, I sent her with fake boobs made of birdseed.
    Ms. Holly Would: I have no idea how she got them through airport security ...

    Fetal: New Orleans is run by inbred French people.
    Fetal: Did she need them?

    Ms. Holly Would: She needs them. She's very flat

    Fetal: But she doesn't need them now, right? Since flat is in.

    Ms. Holly Would: she needed them for Mardi Gras I guess... and this was 3 years ago
    Ms. Holly Would: NOW she's finally in.

  2. #2
    RED DOG45

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen



  3. #3

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    Read once that peanutbutter (enclosed in something) is the perfect consistency/weight for a breast prosthesis. Body heat causes it to mold to the chest wall.


  4. #4

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    All these fake breasts are so ... edible. Slap some jelly and bread on them and call me for lunch!

  5. #5

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    She's thinking a head. Time is not on the skater's side. She's got one more Oly and that's it. What's a girl gonna do?


  6. #6

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    Fetal and Piel,
    Birdseed, peanut butter--you two are a wealth of information. I hear peanut butter makes for good shaving cream too. Not as fun as breasts though.

    No surprise that there is a backlash--or frontlash--against the giganto busting phony busts of the '90s. If you've ever seen some of the GGG strippers on Howard Stern--it's like the woman has a toddler on her chest--you know people are going to rebel. Same thing happened with the '50s torpedo bras and no-bra '60s. In the '50s it was Marylyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, and Jayne Mansfield. In the '60s it was Audrey Hepburn and Twiggy. Sasha's just a girl in tune with the times. Or shall I say the times are in tune with her t*ts?

  7. #7

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    Re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    Good thing Sasha didn't have the birdseed bra at Trophee Lalique! Can you picture what the pigeon would have done????


  8. #8
    Lady Lutz

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    The Breast of Everything

    Poor Sasha...! Have any of her diehard fans gotten after you for this "fashion interview"???

    I would think that large breasts in figure skating would be -uh- rather distracting, especially when you're talking about the Pamela Sue Anderson Baywatch Bazooms of the 1990's.

    One who strikes me as really flat chested is Tiffany Scott, and her skating dresses do nothing to help. Sheesh, guess she could use the birdseed or peanut butter falsies. The girl has no rack whatsoever.

    So if flat is in, then I guess Tonya Harding and her breast implants are behind the times. But as a newly described female boxer, maybe she'll need those implants for protection...

  9. #9

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    First of all ...

    a VERY BIG :rollin: :rollin: and a little too for the above discussion :smokin:

    I am feeling soooooooo IN right now!! Small boobs, boyish hips, WOW! Never thought I'd see the day when that was in. Is being 5'1" in also? Cuz, I'm 5'1" and I think Sasha is too!! I could be her skating dress model!! Yea! A new career!

    BTW, I actually liked Sasha's dress and thought she looked very cute in it. I also admire her for putting her "passion for fashion" to work in her figure skating career. Wish I could combine two things I love so much.


  10. #10

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    Re: First of all ...

    I didn't know Tonya Harding has fake hooters!

  11. #11
    Lady Lutz

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    re: Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen

    Lemonade, I'm built like Sasha too, but I'm a few inches's nice to see small bosoms are now in, because for a few years, I had problems buying dresses because so many were designed for the Silicone Sallies. Yea! Small is tops and Big is flops...:lol:

    You might mention that you're the same size at Sasha's official web page...good luck in your new career!

    And Jill127, yup, Tonya's hooters are plastic. People Magazine had a one page article about her...I think I saved it somewhere. It mentioned she had just gotten breast implants along with a new manager.

    My favorite Sasha costume is the one she wore for her Olympic Short Program. Simple yet elegant.

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