Everything stolen. Advice on whether to buy new medals online

[patti]

I thought I just posted this, but it disappeared for some reason. My home was burglarized and they took my entire collectiion of figure skating achievements - score sheets, medals, and dresses worn (which I made myself) all packed in a box with chotchkies and everything. I am heartbroken about it and realized I have to "replace" them because they were my proudest achievement so far and I just can't bear not having something. My memory is going. So I want to get something even if its not the real thing. Ironically, when they were stolen I was in the process of organizing everything and figuring out how to display them and what to display, so that I could look at them frequently and feel proud of myself. Doing those events was hard on many personal levels as well as athletic levels. The proudest I have been in my life.

I would do anything for a few specific medals back again, even the ugly pcas 2011, but I know that I can't get replacements. My suspicion is that it would be rude to track down organizers of events to see if they have a pile of extras because they might think I'm trying to scam them out of medals I didn't earn (this is what makes them so valuable), and rude to post here asking for specific medals that people have but maybe don't care about that much? Medals are too valuable for that. What should I do? Thoughts?

There are medals online, many of which are ugly, but before I buy those and make do wondering if anyone has ideas.

 

[NanaPat]

It seems like an odd thing for burglars to take. Have you reported the burglary and/or looked in pawn shops for the medals? Or looked for them on sale online?

Do you have photos that you could have digitized / cleaned up and printed to make a display of your achievements. A photo of you on the podium with a medal would be a good substitute for the medal itself.

 

[patti]

It seems like an odd thing for burglars to take. Have you reported the burglary and/or looked in pawn shops for the medals? Or looked for them on sale online?

Do you have photos that you could have digitized / cleaned up and printed to make a display of your achievements. A photo of you on the podium with a medal would be a good substitute for the medal itself.

Ha ha.... it was also odd to take all of my dissertation research files, my grandmother's ashes, my father's ashes, all my photo albums, all my diaries and journals. But easily explained by the fact that I know who it was. My ex husband, who wanted to hurt me, and knew exactly what to take. And he did!

Jewelry went to a fence, not a pawn shop. He most likely just threw out all my personal items. the point was to take it so that I would not have it. He rented a Uhaul because he knew I was out of town at my mother's. The idiot took my toilet,

I have no photos.... I was working on how to display them when it happened. I have nothing.

 

[Diana Delafield]

Ha ha.... it was also odd to take all of my dissertation research files, my grandmother's ashes, my father's ashes, all my photo albums, all my diaries and journals. But easily explained by the fact that I know who it was. My ex husband, who wanted to hurt me, and knew exactly what to take. And he did!

Jewelry went to a fence, not a pawn shop. He most likely just threw out all my personal items. the point was to take it so that I would not have it. He rented a Uhaul because he knew I was out of town at my mother's. The idiot took my toilet,

I have no photos.... I was working on how to display them when it happened. I have nothing.

Sounds like the sort of story your local news media might run. If it's at all possible that he hid some of your treasures away, he might have bragged to someone else about this who would see the story and snitch on him. You may not ever get anything back, and I do sympathize deeply about that, but it might give you some satisfaction to expose him?

 

[patti]

Thanks Diana, but it doesn't work that way at all. News media won't touch it because he isn't convicted, and he isn't convicted because of the backlog in DNA, and the police aren't bothering because of the backlog in DNA. And nothing is going to give me satisfaction in this situation. Especially since he is going to probably get away with it. I'm just looking for ideas for what to do about losing that particular prized possession. Do you think it is a good idea to just replace the medals with something from trophydepot or do you have a better idea for what I could do.

 

[FlossieH]

It sounds like you have reported the burglary to the police? If so, I would approach the organisers of the events, explain what has happened and send them a copy of the document with the crime reference number (the thing you send off to your insurance company if you need to claim against your household contents insurance) as evidence. They are less likely to think you are trying to scam them if you supply evidence of what happened. Even if they don't have spare medals they might have a copy of the entries or results saved someone, and you could then print and frame that.

I'm a bit confused at how buying different medals would help - you would know that they weren't 'your' medals. Would an unwanted medal from someone's ping pong competition or netball tournament really replace your own skating medal? For me it wouldn't, and it would just be an unhelpful reminder of a really unpleasant event - but you are a different person and maybe you are better at tricking your own mind than I am.

I am a bit concerned about the loss of the data from your dissertation as that sounds like it could be a data protection breach. Is there any possibility that he could access and leak the data? If so, I think you maybe need to bite the bullet and report it to the university at which you studied the relevant degree. I assume that the data was password protected appropriately and that you hadn't kept it longer than permitted? If he took your degree certificate then you should be able to get a copy of that, although you may have to pay an admin or printing fee to do so. Although PhD theses are normally archived by a university (and MPhil theses often are as well), undergrad and Masters dissertations are usually only kept for a limited period (typically 2 years in the UK, unless there has been some sort of investigation which requires the work to be kept longer - I don't know about the US). If you completed your degree recently, your university may be able to provide a copy of your dissertation if you explain what has happened.

Would getting a big picture which said something like "You have achieved a lot. Be proud of yourself." help you to have some sort of focal point for all the achievements you can be proud of and thus help with self-esteem? Perhaps you could also have a word cloud of all the things you have done which you are proud of e.g. a list of ice skating events you participated in, details of the degree you studied, perhaps the title of your undergrad/Masters dissertation (I'm not sure whether you have done both of these and/or which has been lost).

I hope that you can find a solution which works for you.

 

[NanaPat]

Would getting a big picture which said something like "You have achieved a lot. Be proud of yourself." help you to have some sort of focal point for all the achievements you can be proud of and thus help with self-esteem? Perhaps you could also have a word cloud of all the things you have done which you are proud of e.g. a list of ice skating events you participated in, details of the degree you studied, perhaps the title of your undergrad/Masters dissertation (I'm not sure whether you have done both of these and/or which has been lost).

I hope that you can find a solution which works for you.

Or how about a nice piece of skating-related artwork to represent your skating achievements, or multiple pieces of artwork representing parts of your past? Numbered limited-edition prints are not crazy expensive, or you could just go for framed posters. It's liking the artwork and what it represents that is important, not the cost. Looking for appropriate pieces could become a kind of quest for you.

 

[Diana Delafield]

Thanks Diana, but it doesn't work that way at all. News media won't touch it because he isn't convicted, and he isn't convicted because of the backlog in DNA, and the police aren't bothering because of the backlog in DNA. And nothing is going to give me satisfaction in this situation. Especially since he is going to probably get away with it. I'm just looking for ideas for what to do about losing that particular prized possession. Do you think it is a good idea to just replace the medals with something from trophydepot or do you have a better idea for what I could do.

Not even a human interest story that didn't say there was a suspect? My local media would be all over the stolen ashes part, and someone might remember overhearing some guy in a bar describing the bizarre thing he'd done. However, it was just a thought.

I personally wouldn't buy an equivalent new or used number of fake medals and trophies, but that's just me. I didn't even keep the ones I actually won in half a dozen artistic and athletic fields. My mother collected them in a drawer, but I left them behind when I got married and left home. I think my brother took some of them eventually, I don't know. Displaying trophies is just not something we do in my family. My cousin had a slew of medals for rowing, including Pan-American Games gold, and has no idea now what happened to them. But you should do whatever brings *you* some comfort. There's certainly no rule of etiquette covering this situation! Perhaps a nice framed picture of you skating or on a medal podium, and then get a calligrapher to letter a long scroll with a list of what you won where and when to hang beside it?

I agree with @FlossieH that the dissertation loss is potentially the most serious, even if not looming as large emotionally. I know my PhilM and PhD theses were archived by the universities in Canada and Scotland where I did those degrees, but my lower-level BA and MLS dissertation/project summaries have been discarded by now by the two other Canadian universities. Those no one would want anyway, since the data is so outdated by now. But the universities where you did anything at a higher level should be notified in case the material falls into the hands of someone who might plagiarize the work, or make other criminal use that I can't think of yet.

None of this will ease the heartache, I know, but if we can think of something practical to occupy you and get you moving forward, that would be one step past this tragedy.

Edit: Belatedly I noticed you said you had no photos now. Would one of the clubs or federations have archive photos from an event where you medalled? Or a regional magazine or some such publication, depending on when these competitions were? Old programs from your club shows? Even an action sketch by a skating artist to whom you could describe a favourite competition dress?

 

[LolaSkatesInJapan]

Can you contact the organizations that awarded you the medals and explain the situation? I'd think they have your achievements on record somewhere. I don't know how other countries have rules regarding medals, trophies and awards from competitions and tests. Around here in Japan, the JSF (Japan Skating Federation) specifically tells you to not lose medals and/or small medal pins they give you from the tests you pass because they won't give you another. I have never had this situation myself or know anyone who lost or had their medals stolen, but I would think that theft like this could be a situation that if you show them a police report/investigation proof of theft, they might consider giving you another.
I know I'd definitely try contacting them if my awards were stolen.
I'm so sorry this happened to you!

 

[patti]

oh, Diana I want to live where you live. Local community has fallen apart where I live, but a lot of that is because of the Camp Fire. It is hard to have a vibrant and caring community when most of it has burned down. btw, the dissertation is a nonissue. There wasnt anything in those boxes worth anything beyond my work product and data printouts. It's all based on public information, and the dataset I created wasn't in the boxes.

You are right it is a little weird. I saw some recent olympic medals for sale online and wondered if maybe they would help. Before the burglary I thought it was silly - even immoral - that people would buy medals for an olympics that they didn't skate in. I have a team jacket I didn't earn but that was a gift from the person that did earn it, so I don't see that as immoral. But a lot of mine were olympic style like that so I considered it for a moment since they look similar. I have been trying to find something that looks like what I had. Perhaps I haven't been satisfied because, as you say, it won't actually fool me and I will know I just bought them online. But I'm getting older, and eventually I won't remember how many gold, silver, and bronze I had. It would help to have something.

I don't know why I was so attached to those medals, I think that they were symbolic of my love of skating, which is one of the most important things in my life. I used to look at them a lot and think about all the work that went into earning them, what I learned about myself in the process, and stuff like that. Flossie and Lola had a great idea that I never thought of. I wish I could remember the competitions! But if I could get copies of my sheets and maybe even replacement medals. That would mean the world to me. I am going to try and contact them and maybe they will have something. Thank you for that idea! I lost over 50k in stuff. My house was cleaned out so I really lost everything. Rooms were emptied out. So there won't be any question that a burglary actually happened. And there aren't any pictures of me skating or anything else to commemorate skating any other way. Its just all gone. So replacing those medals (and score sheets) is all I could think of to do. And what I love about the skating community is that I am sure a few people might actually not mind taking the time to help me. Like all of you on this board. Now I'm excited!

I think its a big deal because recently my dad and brother (very recently) died, and I lost all the pictures of them and all the letters and cards they had written me.... along with the ashes. Will never get that kind of stuff back, so somehow finding a way to get something to remind me of skating would ease the sting of losing those things. I have nothing to hold in my hand and remember them by. So I might be focusing on the medals because I can't do anything about that.

 

[FlossieH]

Patti - you cannot replace the photos or ashes, but you can buy two really nice notebooks and write down all your memories of your father and brother. That would give you a collection of memories for each which you could still see, touch, kiss, cuddle and whatever else helps you.

 

[Diana Delafield]

oh, Diana I want to live where you live. Local community has fallen apart where I live, but a lot of that is because of the Camp Fire. It is hard to have a vibrant and caring community when most of it has burned down. btw, the dissertation is a nonissue. There wasnt anything in those boxes worth anything beyond my work product and data printouts. It's all based on public information, and the dataset I created wasn't in the boxes.

You are right it is a little weird. I saw some recent olympic medals for sale online and wondered if maybe they would help. Before the burglary I thought it was silly - even immoral - that people would buy medals for an olympics that they didn't skate in. I have a team jacket I didn't earn but that was a gift from the person that did earn it, so I don't see that as immoral. But a lot of mine were olympic style like that so I considered it for a moment since they look similar. I have been trying to find something that looks like what I had. Perhaps I haven't been satisfied because, as you say, it won't actually fool me and I will know I just bought them online. But I'm getting older, and eventually I won't remember how many gold, silver, and bronze I had. It would help to have something.

I don't know why I was so attached to those medals, I think that they were symbolic of my love of skating, which is one of the most important things in my life. I used to look at them a lot and think about all the work that went into earning them, what I learned about myself in the process, and stuff like that. Flossie and Lola had a great idea that I never thought of. I wish I could remember the competitions! But if I could get copies of my sheets and maybe even replacement medals. That would mean the world to me. I am going to try and contact them and maybe they will have something. Thank you for that idea! I lost over 50k in stuff. My house was cleaned out so I really lost everything. Rooms were emptied out. So there won't be any question that a burglary actually happened. And there aren't any pictures of me skating or anything else to commemorate skating any other way. Its just all gone. So replacing those medals (and score sheets) is all I could think of to do. And what I love about the skating community is that I am sure a few people might actually not mind taking the time to help me. Like all of you on this board. Now I'm excited!

I think its a big deal because recently my dad and brother (very recently) died, and I lost all the pictures of them and all the letters and cards they had written me.... along with the ashes. Will never get that kind of stuff back, so somehow finding a way to get something to remind me of skating would ease the sting of losing those things. I have nothing to hold in my hand and remember them by. So I might be focusing on the medals because I can't do anything about that.

This is a long shot, but when I started doing family history research on Ancestry.com and took their DNA test, they connected me to distant second, third and fourth cousins I didn't know existed. In a few cases, they had old family photos I'd never seen before and were happy to share copies with me. I admit it's only a slight chance, but you might be able to get some new-to-you family photos that way. I had none of my husband before he was about 4 years old (small kitchen fire in his parents' home while his mother had albums out on the kitchen table to be labelled) but a distant cousin of his had a photo of their mutual great-grandmother holding him on his christening day.

 

[patti]

Patti - you cannot replace the photos or ashes, but you can buy two really nice notebooks and write down all your memories of your father and brother. That would give you a collection of memories for each which you could still see, touch, kiss, cuddle and whatever else helps you.

Oh my gosh. You are all so helpful and that is such a wonderful idea. But I have amnesia. I need the stuff to pull up the memories. Wow am I sad!!! Today is one of those days that I really hate being disabled, and really hate all those people who hate disabled people (which derailed my entire day yesterday and today). Sorry to be such a downer.

 

[Diana Delafield]

Oh my gosh. You are all so helpful and that is such a wonderful idea. But I have amnesia. I need the stuff to pull up the memories. Wow am I sad!!! Today is one of those days that I really hate being disabled, and really hate all those people who hate disabled people (which derailed my entire day yesterday and today). Sorry to be such a downer.

You're far from the first to unload their woes here. This is a safe place to be down

 

[Skater Boy]

Thanks Diana, but it doesn't work that way at all. News media won't touch it because he isn't convicted, and he isn't convicted because of the backlog in DNA, and the police aren't bothering because of the backlog in DNA. And nothing is going to give me satisfaction in this situation. Especially since he is going to probably get away with it. I'm just looking for ideas for what to do about losing that particular prized possession. Do you think it is a good idea to just replace the medals with something from trophydepot or do you have a better idea for what I could do.

I am not sure DNA or even fingerprints will help if he lived there before or he came over due to kids or whatever reason. I would go and write the sports organization if you could obtain or purchase replacement medals / awards from them. Some of the dignitaries who signed your certificates may be dead or no longer around. Unless they were world/olympic or maybe grand prix level medals they aren't worth a lot financially. This sounds silly maybe but for a friend who had won awards but there were no physical awards any more I got (ok long story short I bought some art work and I did some myself and a committee of friends picked a piece out of the five. Sadly they have bad taste and picked a piece I did. They thought the friend would like it. I then gave it a sentimental "name" and had engraved her name and all her achievements. THere is a chance depending on the facts civilly you could prove on a balance of probability like OJ SImpson that the ex husband stole the items and has to pay civilly. The threshold is much lower than criminal. And of course lawyers or police may be able to negotiate something. I hope somehow this all works out. Maybe he "accidentally" took some items and didn't unpack until now and will return them. Good luck!

 

[Princessroja]

You can't utilize the media for the burglary, but... could you utilize it for getting memories? You weren't the only one at those competitions and YOU had photos, so presumably others there had photos too. I bet something like that would go viral on social media pretty quickly, and I'd be willing to bet someone has photos of the medal ceremony from at least one comp you were in. This is exactly the kind of thing that would go viral and people would be falling all over themselves to comb through their closets for. It's even possible if someone had a photo of the medal(s) that a pattern could be made and 3D printed with it. I know my aunt just used that technology to make me a Christmas gift this year.

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

 

[thankyoumommyiloveu]

When I competed, I was friendly with my competitors and we took formal and informal photos together at the competition venue. Is there anyway you could contact some of them and tell them about the thefts? They might be willing to help. Also contact the skating club who put on the competition, they may have some ideas. Yours is a really interesting human interest story. I think publicity would help your situation. Your ex-husband should be exposed. Perhaps it will stop him from doing this to someone else. I don't know how he lives with himself.

I come from a family of law enforcement and your safety in your home should be addressed. New locks, security features, watch cams, etc. would give you further peace of mind.

As my mother would say, "chin up!" I think this will get better over time, and by reaching out (letters, phone calls), and with everyone's ideas here, solutions will fall in place.

Doing what you can, and letting go of some things will be another "win" in and of itself. Best of luck to you!