F
FetalAttraction
Guest
Interview with Fashion Expert About Sasha Cohen
I conducted an interview with acclaimed fashion diva, Ms. Holly Would, concerning Sasha Cohen's new LP dress. Here is the transcript:
Fetal: Please to comment on fashion:
www.sashacohen.com/fashion.shtml
Fetal: That's the precious little figure skater Sasha Cohen and her new dress which she designed herself.
Ms. Holly Would: Well, I don't hate it. But it would look better on me
Fetal: Here's the back of it:
jesusmuseum.com/02CW-Cohen2430-8.jpg
Fetal: Darn, I was hoping there'd be something meaner you'd say!
Ms. Holly Would: Her favorite designers would spit on that dress, though.
Fetal: Flatchested people should not wear extreme V-necks, right?
Ms. Holly Would: Well, flatchestedness is IN right now.
Ms. Holly Would: Women in the know are going to extreme measures to make their chests smaller.
Ms. Holly Would: Doctors are performing WAY MORE breast reductions these days... they outnumber implant procedures ... something like 3:1.
Ms. Holly Would: Unless you're a porn star ... being small is IN.
Fetal: Why is that?
Ms. Holly Would: Well, clothing just isn't designed for breasts anymore.
Ms. Holly Would: It's all about hips and belly-buttons now.
Ms. Holly Would: Emaciated gypsy woman has replaced the DDD monsters of the 90s.
Ms. Holly Would: It's just like in the 20s. Women taped their breasts under their armpits so they could have flat chests.
Ms. Holly Would: And they HID their breasts beneath layers and layers of fringe.
Ms. Holly Would: Look at flapper dresses.
Ms. Holly Would: Then compare with fashion today.
Fetal: I see, so it's all cyclical
Ms. Holly Would: Sleek lines ... androgynous curves ... boyish hips...
Ms. Holly Would: 36 - 24 - 36 is OUT
Fetal: What does that mean for drag queens?
Ms. Holly Would: It means we need less birdseed
Fetal: Birdseed?
Ms. Holly Would: Birdseed makes good breasts.
Fetal: Oh is that a company?
Ms. Holly Would: No ...
Ms. Holly Would: It's the stuff you feed to birds.
Fetal: Wouldn't it get crunchy?
Ms. Holly Would: Yes -- everyone has a secret.
Fetal: Wouldn't it make evil birds peck your boobs to death?
Ms. Holly Would: LOL
Ms. Holly Would: I've seen girls fill old pantyhose with birdseed, and then cover it with silk. It molds to the human body well.
Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons work, but they burst under pressure.
Fetal: Birdseed sounds like a practical solution for Ms. Cohen
Fetal: If she ever needs breasts
Fetal: But who needs the mammaries?
Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons would freeze on the ice.
Ms. Holly Would: Even a waterBRA would freeze.
Ms. Holly Would: Her falsies would become projectiles.
Ms. Holly Would: Knocking out the Eastern European competition ...
Fetal: She's been known to attack other skaters.
Fetal: I have to send this to her people, they'll love the idea.
Ms. Holly Would: Hehe!
Ms. Holly Would: Drag Queens make good friends.
Fetal: Damn straight!
Ms. Holly Would: When my friend went to New Orleans, I sent her with fake boobs made of birdseed.
Ms. Holly Would: I have no idea how she got them through airport security ...
Fetal: New Orleans is run by inbred French people.
Fetal: Did she need them?
Ms. Holly Would: She needs them. She's very flat
Fetal: But she doesn't need them now, right? Since flat is in.
Ms. Holly Would: she needed them for Mardi Gras I guess... and this was 3 years ago
Ms. Holly Would: NOW she's finally in.
I conducted an interview with acclaimed fashion diva, Ms. Holly Would, concerning Sasha Cohen's new LP dress. Here is the transcript:
Fetal: Please to comment on fashion:
www.sashacohen.com/fashion.shtml
Fetal: That's the precious little figure skater Sasha Cohen and her new dress which she designed herself.
Ms. Holly Would: Well, I don't hate it. But it would look better on me
Fetal: Here's the back of it:
jesusmuseum.com/02CW-Cohen2430-8.jpg
Fetal: Darn, I was hoping there'd be something meaner you'd say!
Ms. Holly Would: Her favorite designers would spit on that dress, though.
Fetal: Flatchested people should not wear extreme V-necks, right?
Ms. Holly Would: Well, flatchestedness is IN right now.
Ms. Holly Would: Women in the know are going to extreme measures to make their chests smaller.
Ms. Holly Would: Doctors are performing WAY MORE breast reductions these days... they outnumber implant procedures ... something like 3:1.
Ms. Holly Would: Unless you're a porn star ... being small is IN.
Fetal: Why is that?
Ms. Holly Would: Well, clothing just isn't designed for breasts anymore.
Ms. Holly Would: It's all about hips and belly-buttons now.
Ms. Holly Would: Emaciated gypsy woman has replaced the DDD monsters of the 90s.
Ms. Holly Would: It's just like in the 20s. Women taped their breasts under their armpits so they could have flat chests.
Ms. Holly Would: And they HID their breasts beneath layers and layers of fringe.
Ms. Holly Would: Look at flapper dresses.
Ms. Holly Would: Then compare with fashion today.
Fetal: I see, so it's all cyclical
Ms. Holly Would: Sleek lines ... androgynous curves ... boyish hips...
Ms. Holly Would: 36 - 24 - 36 is OUT
Fetal: What does that mean for drag queens?
Ms. Holly Would: It means we need less birdseed
Fetal: Birdseed?
Ms. Holly Would: Birdseed makes good breasts.
Fetal: Oh is that a company?
Ms. Holly Would: No ...
Ms. Holly Would: It's the stuff you feed to birds.
Fetal: Wouldn't it get crunchy?
Ms. Holly Would: Yes -- everyone has a secret.
Fetal: Wouldn't it make evil birds peck your boobs to death?
Ms. Holly Would: LOL
Ms. Holly Would: I've seen girls fill old pantyhose with birdseed, and then cover it with silk. It molds to the human body well.
Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons work, but they burst under pressure.
Fetal: Birdseed sounds like a practical solution for Ms. Cohen
Fetal: If she ever needs breasts
Fetal: But who needs the mammaries?
Ms. Holly Would: Water balloons would freeze on the ice.
Ms. Holly Would: Even a waterBRA would freeze.
Ms. Holly Would: Her falsies would become projectiles.
Ms. Holly Would: Knocking out the Eastern European competition ...
Fetal: She's been known to attack other skaters.
Fetal: I have to send this to her people, they'll love the idea.
Ms. Holly Would: Hehe!
Ms. Holly Would: Drag Queens make good friends.
Fetal: Damn straight!
Ms. Holly Would: When my friend went to New Orleans, I sent her with fake boobs made of birdseed.
Ms. Holly Would: I have no idea how she got them through airport security ...
Fetal: New Orleans is run by inbred French people.
Fetal: Did she need them?
Ms. Holly Would: She needs them. She's very flat
Fetal: But she doesn't need them now, right? Since flat is in.
Ms. Holly Would: she needed them for Mardi Gras I guess... and this was 3 years ago
Ms. Holly Would: NOW she's finally in.
