Charlie Bilodeau explains his retirement : Olympics, injuries, mental health and a new balanced life | Golden Skate

Charlie Bilodeau explains his retirement : Olympics, injuries, mental health and a new balanced life

4everchan

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Charlie explains his retirement decisions. His dream of making the Olympics. The emptiness he felt achieving it. The injuries. The over-training while injured. The need for a balanced life for athletes. How some coaches are only focused on the big prizes and not the longevity.. (yes, he is taking about Eteri). His own personal issues and struggles with mental health and the pressure felt by elite athletes. His journey as an athlete and his new life as he and his partner are expecting a child.

I believe it's worth putting this in a translator if you cannot read French.

 
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Arriba627

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Interesting read! Thx for posting! Google Translate worked fine for me...I always enjoyed Charlie's partnership with Julianne and was so sorry when they began to struggle with injuries -- her concussions, his back problems. Saw them win gold at Skate America 2016...Very happy to see that he is doing well and has adjusted so well to his post-skating life. This article was a good reminder that we never know what struggles the skaters are experiencing outside the 4 mins. and 2-1/2 mins. we see them on the ice.
 

4everchan

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Interesting read! Thx for posting! Google Translate worked fine for me...I always enjoyed Charlie's partnership with Julianne and was so sorry when they began to struggle with injuries -- her concussions, his back problems. Saw them win gold at Skate America 2016...Very happy to see that he is doing well and has adjusted so well to his post-skating life. This article was a good reminder that we never know what struggles the skaters are experiencing outside the 4 mins. and 2-1/2 mins. we see them on the ice.
exactly!!!! So many fans have demonized Charlie : it's always easy to judge without knowing what's going on in these people's life. ... Julianne herself said in an article that Charlie probably saved her life... they could no longer continue... and then, he realised for himself that it wasn't just the hard training, the coaching environment and the injuries... but his happiness that was at stake. Elite sport requires so much sacrifice : if the heart is no longer there, it's best to walk away.
 

Arriba627

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Absolutely. I remember how he was vilified when he switched partners. I felt so sorry for him, because I figured we never really knew what the whole story was behind that. I wish him well in all his new endeavors, and I'm happy that he sounds so happy!
 

el henry

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Thank you for this article. Well, Charlie does not mince words about his own experiences, or about certain coaching techniques. ;)

I love the ending: Everything is possible in life, but just because it's possible does not necessarily mean it is worth it. I want my son to know that. (very inexact, but I think this captures the meaning in English)

And the photo of baby Charlie in his first comp: too cute! :)
 

gravy

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One would think his tough experiences would mellow him out to not be a total d-bag to his partners but alas. Glad he's gone.
 

4everchan

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I will leave this up there since some people may not be aware of how things really happened.

Charlie and Julianne were both over-training while sustaining major injuries. Charlie had knee surgery and an herniated disc. Julianne had 3 concussions. Yet, their team was asking more and more and more of them. They had to qualify for the games. Back then, there were 4 strong teams in Canada, 3 spots only.
They made it but it was way too much for their physical and mental health.

Julianne still struggled with concussion complications at the time of the article in 2021.
She says that "Charlie probably saved her life" when he left the team as he could no longer accept the conditions. She was stuck in over-training to push her limits spiral.

After leaving the team, Charlie tried to heal himself, both physically and mentally. However, if he did manage to feel better physically with Lubov, his heart was no longer in it. He could not see himself making it to 2022. He had to walk away. Yes, Lubov was upset. It's understandable, however, he was simply burned out. When there is nothing left, there is nothing left. That's why he retired.
 
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BlissfulSynergy

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Yes, Lubov was upset. It's understandable, however, he was simply burned out.
That's an understatement. Lubov was devastated and taken completely by surprise. She had made career, financial, and logistical sacrifices, believing that she and Charlie had a good shot at doing well together and hopefully making the Olympics. That's why she gave up her job with Cirque du Soleil, thinking that in doing so she would be able to net something she'd always dreamed of accomplishing. I'm sorry for Charlie, and I now better understand his dilemma and what he was going through. But let's not downplay the hurtful impact that Charlie's personal confusion ended up having on Lubov. She was all-in, and she trusted Charlie.

Perhaps Lubov learned something in the process of having her hopes, dreams, financial and training investments ripped completely away, but it's too late for her to apply what she learned in the competitive skating arena. After the experience with Charlie, Lubov's career was truly over. It had been hard enough when Dylan M got injured in the lead-up to the 2018 Olympics, which cost Lubov/Dylan a spot on the Canadian team. Thankfully, Dylan survived physically and emotionally the freak accident he suffered. For Lubov, after what happened with Charlie, especially with all the potential Lubov/Charlie had together, I can't imagine how she managed to regain her bearings emotionally and logistically. The abruptness of Charlie's decision to quit so soon after convincing Lubov to partner with him, is not something that's easy to overcome. Thankfully, Lubov had her fiance, her friends, and her family to provide support and encouragement. Even though Charlie did not intend to hurt Lubov, he was very careless in his dealings with her, especially by not being truthful to himself first. Charlie wasn't honest with himself (and perhaps it was a difficult process for him to accomplish). But it's not a small thing that he withheld from Lubov his sense of ambiguity and uncertainty. That confusion and miscommunication only led to his further unhappiness and a lack of motivation when they began competing.

Obviously, it's a good thing to truly be able to understand all that both Charlie and Julianne were going through. Apparently, it took Julianne a long time to gain perspective, because initially, she seemed publicly upset with Charlie after their split. Only much later, has Julianne come to grips with and gained acceptance for what they both went through during their partnership. It's a cautionary tale. Coaches and skaters should take heed. Good communication is key to any successful enterprise or relationship between people. And it's not easy to acquire or maintain. The first step is probably learning how to be honest with oneself.
 
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el henry

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Charlie does not need to explain himself any further than he already has.

Lubov has moved on with her life and I am sure is enjoying life as a newlywed. Julianne has said that his decision, quite literally, saved her life.

My thanks to Charlie for his honest description of his life in skating, and the cost of a life in skating.
 

4everchan

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The first step is probably learning how to be honest with oneself.
and that can take time... some fans are very quick to judge people they do not even know.

Some people talk like it's only Lubov who changed her life around to train with Charlie. Charlie switched coaches and environment. He also made plans to get to the top for 2022. When he figured out he could no longer do it, he ended it.. it's not like he intentionally planned the abrupt end of his own career to happen like this...

I am with @el henry here. Charlie did not even need to explain himself at this point. People have moved on. He is doing so, not to be denigrated bitterly but to show how difficult the sport it... how toxic a coaching environment can be, and how demanding it can be, not only physically but also mentally. He is speaking up so other skaters who go through the same do not get swallowed by the sport like he was at that point.

Kudos to him for having the courage to speak up.
 

karne

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Mental health issues do not give you a free pass to treat the people around you like trash.

Julianne may have determined it was fine in hindsight, but what he did to Lubov was unacceptable regardless.
 

4everchan

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I believe many people have to make difficult decisions in life : walking away from a dream job, moving cities, leaving a relationship... sometimes even leaving a spouse and children. I am sorry but it's totally fine to leave a figure skating partnership, and doing so doesn't make you evil. Seriously.
 
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theblade

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@BlissfulSynergy's post is so nuanced and on-point. For those of you who have a close family member or friend who has attempted a serious skating partnership, you know just how potentially ruinous the sport can be. Lack of honesty in terms of motivations can be disastrous to the other partner - no matter how legitimate the reason may be or seem to be.

This should be a case study for all potential partnerships. There is so much to be aware of. In this instance, Lubov had to face serious consequences and be beholden to Charlie's decisions. The emotional and financial ramifications were considerable.

Because I support someone in skating who faces similar vulnerabilities - and I know the sacrifices made to pay for the sport all too well - I do feel that there are some things you just don't do to someone else. That's why many partnerships do a trial period to see if it's viable in the long term. In Lubov's situation, that unfortunately wasn't possible.

More parents, skaters and coaches should look to this story to ensure that potential partnerships can start out as viable as can be. To start out with unanswered questions only means a premature ending.
 

4everchan

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There was a trial period. Charlie took pretty much a year off to heal his injuries, refocus and try out potential partners. He loved skating with Lubov. Until he burned out. What do you all suggest? That he should have kept going despite being burned out because Lubov had made some life changes? I was super excited when Charlie and Lubov started skating together, but in the end, if it weren't a healthy endeavour for Charlie, it just couldn't work out. A partnership needs TWO strong and healthy partners. Charlie was not there mentally anymore.

There are plenty of partnerships out there that are ending perhaps prematurely or in somewhat nebulous circumstances. There is an entire thread dedicated to that. I find it rather unfair that some are throwing Charlie under the bus because he didn't "at the time" provide a full explanation about what went on with him... He has now. And it's pretty clear he couldn't continue anymore. When I read some of the posts here, I feel like no matter what he would have done, he would have been judged harshly. That's pretty unfair in my opinion.
 

JustSomeGuy

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People are forgetting the part where Lubov only found out about the split when it was announced on social media...

Look, I'm not getting into the whole 'Lubov quitting her job with Cirqu Du Soleil to skate with Charlie' situation, but it's a matter of decency not to break up with somebody via public media. Whatever else was going on, that was in poor taste. Hurt people hurt people and all that, but the fact that you're hurting can only ever be an explanation and never an excuse.
Charlie never owed an explanation for why he retired, even "I just don't want to skate anymore" would have been a good enough reason, but the way he went about it was thoughtless and it did cause harm, and there needs to be some accountability for that.
 

4everchan

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People are forgetting the part where Lubov only found out about the split when it was announced on social media...

Look, I'm not getting into the whole 'Lubov quitting her job with Cirqu Du Soleil to skate with Charlie' situation, but it's a matter of decency not to break up with somebody via public media. Whatever else was going on, that was in poor taste. Hurt people hurt people and all that, but the fact that you're hurting can only ever be an explanation and never an excuse.
Charlie never owed an explanation for why he retired, even "I just don't want to skate anymore" would have been a good enough reason, but the way he went about it was thoughtless and it did cause harm, and there needs to be some accountability for that.
Charlie told Lubov and his coaching team through video conference before he announced it in the media. It was during Covid lockdown in Quebec, about a month after Worlds had been canceled. Rinks were closed. Everyone was staying at home. It seems you are confusing this split with another one.
Lubov felt surprised because she didn't see it coming and he didn't elaborate much about his process to her, but it was announced to her slightly before the news came in the traditional media in Quebec. Was it too quick? Perhaps... but this seems in line with how he felt.. he struggled a lot making the decision and once it was made, he needed to let his team know and then make the official announcement. Just like someone who needs to take weight off his shoulders.

This is an article about his retirement
https://www.lesoleil.com/2020/04/16...-sa-retraite-6741cfd846b470e1f447f0b9cdea3f29


Annonces difficiles
Sa décision de se retirer prise, Bilodeau a ensuite dû l’annoncer à sa partenaire Lubov Ilyushechkina et à ses entraîneurs. Des annonces beaucoup plus difficiles pour lui que l’avait été que son choix d’arrêter de patiner.
«C’était une évidence pour moi de prendre cette décision là parce que j’avais bien creusé le fond de la question et que j’en étais venu à la conclusion qu’il fallait que je pense à moi. Mais c’est évident que je faisais plusieurs victimes collatérales dont ma partenaire et mes entraîneurs. On était tous embarqués dans le projet de gagner une médaille aux Jeux de 2022 et on espérait être capable d’atteindre notre but. En me retirant, j’ai coupé l’herbe sous le pied à toute l’équipe autour de nous. Et il y a un certain sentiment de culpabilité qui vient avec tout ça. Mais en même temps j’ai pris la décision pour ma santé, pour bien vivre avec moi. C’est pour apprécier le quotidien que j’ai pris cette décision- là.»


Tranlsation :
Difficult announcement
Once the decision was made, Bilodeau had to announce it to his partner and coaches. Letting them know was even harder than making the choice to stop slating. "It was obvious for me that I needed to make that decision because I had dug deeply and made the conclusion that I needed to focus on my well-being. However, it was clear that I was making collateral victims, including my partner and my coaches. We were all committed to win a medal at the 2022 games and we were hoping to be able to do so. (...) There is a feeling of guilt that comes with this. At the same time, I made this decision for my own health, for my well-being. It is to be able to appreciate every day that I made this decision:
 
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theblade

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There was a trial period. Charlie took pretty much a year off to heal his injuries, refocus and try out potential partners. He loved skating with Lubov. Until he burned out. What do you all suggest? That he should have kept going despite being burned out because Lubov had made some life changes? I was super excited when Charlie and Lubov started skating together, but in the end, if it weren't a healthy endeavour for Charlie, it just couldn't work out. A partnership needs TWO strong and healthy partners. Charlie was not there mentally anymore.

There are plenty of partnerships out there that are ending perhaps prematurely or in somewhat nebulous circumstances. There is an entire thread dedicated to that. I find it rather unfair that some are throwing Charlie under the bus because he didn't "at the time" provide a full explanation about what went on with him... He has now. And it's pretty clear he couldn't continue anymore. When I read some of the posts here, I feel like no matter what he would have done, he would have been judged harshly. That's pretty unfair in my opinion.
I never suggested that a skater keep going despite being burned out. Speaking as a parent with a child in the sport, it feels that often times, the girls have to be stronger when getting the short end of the stick, because they are greater in number. Frankly, the strain on family relations and finances is immense. Not something to wish on anyone else. And the past two years have been unprecedented, in terms of issues related to training (due to events outside of the sport).

Charlie obviously needed more time to confront his own feelings about whether or not he felt capable of training and competing at a high level. Obviously, his emotional and physical well-being are important and few people would say otherwise. If he had perhaps taken longer to reflect before committing to Lubov, then they could have had what many other skaters have had: a tryout with potential, but not a partnership pursued.

That happens when skaters are in a place of real understanding of what their next steps will be. Unfortunately, sometimes skaters are in flux and need more time to weigh in on uncertainties. Training in Canada with the restrictions they had at the time was a tremendously difficult position to be in. Added extra layers of complications, which is, of course, unfair.

The point is, for the parents of female figure skaters, this is a tremendously dicey position to be in. (And this means no disrespect to the male skater, and their needs.) Our family has opted not to pursue certain options in the past, because it wouldn't have been a positive partnership. We have personally met who knows how many discarded partners. My kid has skated with them. We have seen the fallout first-hand.

For those skaters, skating families, close friends of skaters here - with personal experience of partnership relations - this strikes a chord. In a different way than, say, perhaps supporters and fans of figure skating.
 

4everchan

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Charlie obviously needed more time to confront his own feelings about whether or not he felt capable of training and competing at a high level. Obviously, his emotional and physical well-being are important and few people would say otherwise. If he had perhaps taken longer to reflect before committing to Lubov, then they could have had what many other skaters have had: a tryout with potential, but not a partnership pursued.

That happens when skaters are in a place of real understanding of what their next steps will be. Unfortunately, sometimes skaters are in flux and need more time to weigh in on uncertainties. Training in Canada with the restrictions they had at the time was a tremendously difficult position to be in. Added extra layers of complications, which is, of course, unfair.

I removed the bits about your experience as a parent as though it is interesting, and I can empathize with the sensitivities one could feel about their daughter involved in the sport, Lubov and Charlie are grown ups, and part from the very elite. I don't think it's very fair to project what some skating families are going through on to Charlie here. As a matter of fact, he comes from a skating family himself, his mom is a figure skating coach.

About Charlie needing more time :

Charlie did take a long time to heal himself, and also had 3 tryouts before settling down with Lubov. After the games in 2018, he was getting ready to skate with Julianne for another cycle. They both had issues, he could no longer be in that environment and left the sport in the middle of the summer. He only started skating with Lubov for the 2019-20 season ! That's pretty much a full season he sat out. That's a quarter of the cycle and basically a whole lifetime in elite figure skating. Any longer and he was never coming back ! He did try his utmost, in my opinion, to heal himself, rest, and get back into it. At that point, he probably felt that the new environment, the new coaching team, the new partner, even a rather different approach to skating may revive his passion...

However, they didn't skate well at Nationals, They didn't qualify for worlds, placing 3rd. They only placed 7th at 4CC. He didn't feel great nor did he skate great. He was probably already burned out. COVID hit and worlds were canceled. THEN he announced it to Lubov. They didn't have to deal with training during Covid times... he pretty much retired when things shut down completely in Canada.

I felt from your post that the timeline of events needed some clarification. Charlie did take time to heal. Charlie did take time to choose the right environment and new partner for him. Charlie was excited about his comeback with Lubov. Come Nationals, he wasn't feeling it.

Sometimes, the training will feel right and exciting but when the skaters get back into the competition pressure (like Nationals would do, qualifying for worlds at home), it may trigger the ill feeling that he has referred to in the article.
 

NanaPat

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I saw Lubov and Charlie live at Skate Canada in 2019. They seemed very promising and enthuseastic at that time. It was later in the season when it seemed Charlie's heart wasn't really in it. I thought it might be recurrent injuries, or just the grind of training, setting in when the euphoria of a new partnership started to wear off.

I actually wondered if James/Radford would follow the same trajectory, but they seemed to continue to improve as their (first?) season progressed.
 
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