- Joined
- Mar 23, 2010
Off season crazy thread, you know how it goes.... or not so crazy!!!? 
Here's a list of recommendations for the non-European federations and skaters to ride the PCS wave that is the current COP inflation machine. To jostle, hustle, and muscle making lemonade out of COP - complete with full set of artificial colourings, flavourings, and preservatives to boost the sweet taste of PCS bubbles like a European pro.
Feel free to add your own.
1. Program Choice: Pick a European war horse
Something with obvious built in emotions, respectability, and steady and easy rhythm that is giving even when you make mistakes. One that can do all the emotion for you.
e.g Carmen, Romeo & Juliet, Ave Maria, or Swan lake, or something Russian ballet related at the Olympics just can't go wrong.
2. Theme choice: Pick some historically tragic, bigger than life
Full on emotional blackmail exploitation - tears and grand gestures. Don't worry about being offensive, think of the colourful posters! Tackiness or sensationalism has been the golden way to boost your PCS. Judges can be extremely thick skinned among 'other' things.
3. Backloading your jumps with 100% enthusiasm
THREE jump passes after half way point in the short program.
SEVEN jump passes after halfway point in the long.
21% Min. PCS inflation guaranteed (well...ish.)
Don't be afraid to be shamelessly milking it like a Russian. No need to go for a big 3lz3t, just focus on getting everything landed with no UR. No need to put in effort on things like height, distance or speed, because it simply doesn't count that much these days. Attacking your programs with speed, ice coverage and balanced choreography is extremely overrated and worthless. Focus on endurance and epic jump drills.
4. Practice your Tanos/Rippons, and helicopter arms
Make sure you can do these with all your jumps, just in case you need them. And just in case of ISU decide they would not be changing the rule before the Olympics after all, and somebody was just passing out false information to ensure people wouldn't bother with practising.
If you can provide a more aesthetic helicopter arms than the reigning world champion, with original movements, like do the victory signs, do the Trumpian 2 thumbs up while you jump, you may get a higher chance of greater GOEs. More than enough to make up any missing difficult 3/3 combos.
5. Cook up an easily digestible dish for the judges
Spoon feed judges with invisible props:
skipping ropes, pulling ropes (anything with ropes), briefcases, phones has been proven to be extremely effective. Don't be afraid to bring out the shimmi, blew kisses, the hoodwink flirtation at the judges, saturday night fever, shoot an arrow that injuries your heart, and ofcourse the dying dramatically on the ice at the end with tears in your eye. Consider doing the hokie pokie, the sprinkler, the macarena, the hammer time, YMCA, the lawn mower, the chicken dance. Bring about your spirit fingers, doing the robot, kungfu fighting chopping hands, Elvis legs, Gangnam style horse riding skills may give those extra PCS points with a little help from the lively audience, and hopefully, add tons of transition GOEs.
6. Make sure you lead at nationals
Get your house politics in order. Beg, bribe, kiss, grovel if you have to (or get your coach to do it.) You must have your federations on your side. That is half of the battle.
7. 4Cs: Clear, Clean, Consistent and Comfortable
Not giving judges any excuse to mark you down, no pesky little ! e < makes their job easier, they will appreciate it and reward you PCS for it. Hide your unclear edges, UR at the far corner, away from the judges and intrusive camera lenses.
8. Control the Technical Panel
It is probably too late for most federation to do this, since Russia already controls this from the days1, but try anyway. Control the gate keeper, you control the levels, the edge calls and UR.
9. Anytime Shin Amano is being 'offered' to your home GP series
Protest like Trumpian crazy. Cry foul, loud and proud. Make threat to withdraw ISU funding and commercial endorsements. Threaten to build a wall and lock him up.
(Or negotiate to accept on the condition that ISU must also place him to judge at Cup of Russia, Russia nationals AND the European Championships too. And of course, in the meantime, also make him your best friend. (see point 10)
10. Be very weary of European majority judge panels
Or at least try to have a couple of 100% non - European judge panels at major competitions to offset any the slant, bias, momentum building, while invite the best European skater to participate.
Make friends with other federation judges panels, even your formal enemies. You know... nothing too 'illegal', a few gifts and there, wine and dine, 1st class flight, 1st class lounges, karaoke parties open bar, the stuff Japan Federations are probably familiar with already.
Talk about how great your skaters are, has improved, relatively undermarked. Talk about how important good choreographic programs are, and backloading and miming are destroying the art and soul of figure skating.
11. Ensure you manage to instil your own/friendly federation judges
ON the actual real Olympic panel PLUS including your friendly federation judges, one that preferably lasts until the FS. While making sure those who disadvantages you like the European judges (except Great Britain and Germany) do not get to judge at the final panel.
12. Three words: Learn from Sochi
Make sure only the 'anointed' federation judge get to 'judge' your #1 'anointed' skater at every single one of their competition throughout the entire season, to artificialize momentum boosting as well as influence other judges of the same competition. Learn from Sotnikova / Alla Shekhovtseva partnership and how it boost their PCS score over the course of a season. Make sure your 'anointed' skater should only participate in friendly competitions, preferably with the greatest home advantages, and assign them to shadow reigning leading contenders to apply psychological warfare while working on their death stare
13. Land all your jumps consistently with difficult transitions in and out of them. (Suggested by CanadianSkaterGuy, modified slightly by me)
If you don't have the reputation. Try to go above and beyond what is necessary, so even if you do get that unfair technical call or stingy GOEs, the video evidence will present itself, while some folks here at GS and beyond will be your great advocate (and surely jumpamatron editor?). It will boost your next season reputation should you decide to go for it. If not, at least you can say you did what you came to do, too bad the judges are just not on your side.
14. Get your very own fluffy cuddly mascot tissue box
It is THE designer item of the sport! Build those buzz factor and cuteness overload. (fluffy cuddly not prerequisite. Kovtun, you can bring a black leather punchkick bag)
It may not necessarily give you the extra points, but it will make you feel warm and cuddly inside at the time when you need it the most. Especially handy when you are most vulnerable and emotionally unstable at the Kiss and Cry and hopefully become your very own huggable lucky charm. Look how Pooh had helped Hanyu, Sailormoon cat for Zhenya. Spiderman for Boyang. Let's face it, we can all do with a bit of luck at the Olympics.
15. No reputation? No Agent? No PR?
Don't worry, you can still get the crowd on your side, and hopefully a few PCS extra points. Which surely helps you at the arena and cheer for you. Build a fan base, get involved on the social media. Make friends with your peers. Learn from Misha Ge, I personally think it did help his PCS a little. Learn English, Learn Korean, Learn Chinese (Beijing games coming up). Immerse yourself in the culture and politics and public speaking. Learn to be PR smart, study how/what NOT to say (PatrickChan press Pre-2014), then learn how/what to say (PatrickChan press Post-2015.) Ultimately, do not let it distract you from training and work on your consistency and your backloading. Focus on things that matter, but don't be careless about things you think don't matter.
In summary, everything matters. The devil is in the details and your best line of defence in this political sport.
16. Place at least in the top 10 at worlds before (Suggested by Nathan13, modified slightly by me.)
As Sochi established. if you were ever in the top 10 at any world championships, or not a even senior. You still have a shot. Be strategic managing your GP campaign. At home events, while you may enjoy generous calls (unless ISU assigns Amano) and inflated marks (if fed support you), but you may risk seen to as overmarked when your performance did not stack up on the day, and risks negatively affect your reputation (e.g Mao at NHK, Kaetlyn at Skate Canada). Although how that affect your overall reputation depends on how well you comeback at your next competition. In other words, try not to mess up twice in a row.
However, if you are able to conquer unfavourable competitions, you may win the respect of judges and the audiences. Mirai did well @ Cup of Russia for 2 straight seasons, in 2013-14, coming 3rd and 4th, the event no US skater want to get, but in doing so, it proves she is underrated and deserves a second shot (although whether fed are smart enough to see it is another matter).
Word of caution, keep your guard up, no competition are truly favourable outside home events, and the judging can often surprise you. Mirai along with other non-Japanese ladies received some of the lowest PCS at NHK from the Japan judge, so you can pretty much count judges are going to play for the home team. In other words, manage your expectations conservatively, wisely and just accept it as part of the sport.
17. No Consistency No PCS? Don't worry. Clean(ish) and high TES seems more important @ the Olympics
As previous Olympics demonstrated, contrary to standard belief, consistency doesn't count much @ the Olympics. Lack of reputation is just fine, just make sure you have the skate of your life ON the day. Remember, anything is possible by a generous judging panel, supportive crowd... and importantly if you bring both quantity and quality, it is hard to make the judges deny you. Skate CLEAN(ish) and ZESTY to get crowd on your side which goes to point 18.
18. Home advantage. Advantage Advantage Advantage +++ Go Go Go!!
Take every home advantage however you can. As proven previously, it CAN make a difference. Ensure you benefit from home advantages, judging, and crowd support (and their version of vuvuzela). Get your federation to make federation friends who can be favourable to your interests when you manage to prove yourself.
19. Influence the public and beyond
Study how information warfare works and protect yourself. Get your Ma and Pa to chip in, utilise your federations and industry links, paid networks, associates to be your press and influencer on public message boards. Quash and monitor apparent dissent with the one fit all message (name calling, labelling) even if it doesn't make much sense. It is impossible to prove anyway, other than timing, a number of posts made in short time from new registrations and other behavioural patterns.
20. Work hard but remember to stay positive and have a good time
To participate in the Olympics is a huge honour and a privilege no matter what the result. Represent yourself and your country well. Be modest. Winning is not everything in this political sport... as human judging by nature can be fickle. Approach your performances with a clear conscious, without regrets and hopefully, it should bring you a lifetime of happiness.
Very best of luck future Olympians!! May the rebellion wins and the force be with you.
Here's a list of recommendations for the non-European federations and skaters to ride the PCS wave that is the current COP inflation machine. To jostle, hustle, and muscle making lemonade out of COP - complete with full set of artificial colourings, flavourings, and preservatives to boost the sweet taste of PCS bubbles like a European pro.
Feel free to add your own.
1. Program Choice: Pick a European war horse
Something with obvious built in emotions, respectability, and steady and easy rhythm that is giving even when you make mistakes. One that can do all the emotion for you.
e.g Carmen, Romeo & Juliet, Ave Maria, or Swan lake, or something Russian ballet related at the Olympics just can't go wrong.
2. Theme choice: Pick some historically tragic, bigger than life
Full on emotional blackmail exploitation - tears and grand gestures. Don't worry about being offensive, think of the colourful posters! Tackiness or sensationalism has been the golden way to boost your PCS. Judges can be extremely thick skinned among 'other' things.
3. Backloading your jumps with 100% enthusiasm
THREE jump passes after half way point in the short program.
SEVEN jump passes after halfway point in the long.
21% Min. PCS inflation guaranteed (well...ish.)
Don't be afraid to be shamelessly milking it like a Russian. No need to go for a big 3lz3t, just focus on getting everything landed with no UR. No need to put in effort on things like height, distance or speed, because it simply doesn't count that much these days. Attacking your programs with speed, ice coverage and balanced choreography is extremely overrated and worthless. Focus on endurance and epic jump drills.
4. Practice your Tanos/Rippons, and helicopter arms
Make sure you can do these with all your jumps, just in case you need them. And just in case of ISU decide they would not be changing the rule before the Olympics after all, and somebody was just passing out false information to ensure people wouldn't bother with practising.
If you can provide a more aesthetic helicopter arms than the reigning world champion, with original movements, like do the victory signs, do the Trumpian 2 thumbs up while you jump, you may get a higher chance of greater GOEs. More than enough to make up any missing difficult 3/3 combos.
5. Cook up an easily digestible dish for the judges
Spoon feed judges with invisible props:
skipping ropes, pulling ropes (anything with ropes), briefcases, phones has been proven to be extremely effective. Don't be afraid to bring out the shimmi, blew kisses, the hoodwink flirtation at the judges, saturday night fever, shoot an arrow that injuries your heart, and ofcourse the dying dramatically on the ice at the end with tears in your eye. Consider doing the hokie pokie, the sprinkler, the macarena, the hammer time, YMCA, the lawn mower, the chicken dance. Bring about your spirit fingers, doing the robot, kungfu fighting chopping hands, Elvis legs, Gangnam style horse riding skills may give those extra PCS points with a little help from the lively audience, and hopefully, add tons of transition GOEs.
6. Make sure you lead at nationals
Get your house politics in order. Beg, bribe, kiss, grovel if you have to (or get your coach to do it.) You must have your federations on your side. That is half of the battle.
7. 4Cs: Clear, Clean, Consistent and Comfortable
Not giving judges any excuse to mark you down, no pesky little ! e < makes their job easier, they will appreciate it and reward you PCS for it. Hide your unclear edges, UR at the far corner, away from the judges and intrusive camera lenses.
8. Control the Technical Panel
It is probably too late for most federation to do this, since Russia already controls this from the days1, but try anyway. Control the gate keeper, you control the levels, the edge calls and UR.
9. Anytime Shin Amano is being 'offered' to your home GP series
Protest like Trumpian crazy. Cry foul, loud and proud. Make threat to withdraw ISU funding and commercial endorsements. Threaten to build a wall and lock him up.
(Or negotiate to accept on the condition that ISU must also place him to judge at Cup of Russia, Russia nationals AND the European Championships too. And of course, in the meantime, also make him your best friend. (see point 10)
10. Be very weary of European majority judge panels
Or at least try to have a couple of 100% non - European judge panels at major competitions to offset any the slant, bias, momentum building, while invite the best European skater to participate.
Make friends with other federation judges panels, even your formal enemies. You know... nothing too 'illegal', a few gifts and there, wine and dine, 1st class flight, 1st class lounges, karaoke parties open bar, the stuff Japan Federations are probably familiar with already.
Talk about how great your skaters are, has improved, relatively undermarked. Talk about how important good choreographic programs are, and backloading and miming are destroying the art and soul of figure skating. 11. Ensure you manage to instil your own/friendly federation judges
ON the actual real Olympic panel PLUS including your friendly federation judges, one that preferably lasts until the FS. While making sure those who disadvantages you like the European judges (except Great Britain and Germany) do not get to judge at the final panel.
12. Three words: Learn from Sochi
Make sure only the 'anointed' federation judge get to 'judge' your #1 'anointed' skater at every single one of their competition throughout the entire season, to artificialize momentum boosting as well as influence other judges of the same competition. Learn from Sotnikova / Alla Shekhovtseva partnership and how it boost their PCS score over the course of a season. Make sure your 'anointed' skater should only participate in friendly competitions, preferably with the greatest home advantages, and assign them to shadow reigning leading contenders to apply psychological warfare while working on their death stare
13. Land all your jumps consistently with difficult transitions in and out of them. (Suggested by CanadianSkaterGuy, modified slightly by me)
If you don't have the reputation. Try to go above and beyond what is necessary, so even if you do get that unfair technical call or stingy GOEs, the video evidence will present itself, while some folks here at GS and beyond will be your great advocate (and surely jumpamatron editor?). It will boost your next season reputation should you decide to go for it. If not, at least you can say you did what you came to do, too bad the judges are just not on your side.
14. Get your very own fluffy cuddly mascot tissue box
It is THE designer item of the sport! Build those buzz factor and cuteness overload. (fluffy cuddly not prerequisite. Kovtun, you can bring a black leather punchkick bag)
It may not necessarily give you the extra points, but it will make you feel warm and cuddly inside at the time when you need it the most. Especially handy when you are most vulnerable and emotionally unstable at the Kiss and Cry and hopefully become your very own huggable lucky charm. Look how Pooh had helped Hanyu, Sailormoon cat for Zhenya. Spiderman for Boyang. Let's face it, we can all do with a bit of luck at the Olympics.
15. No reputation? No Agent? No PR?
Don't worry, you can still get the crowd on your side, and hopefully a few PCS extra points. Which surely helps you at the arena and cheer for you. Build a fan base, get involved on the social media. Make friends with your peers. Learn from Misha Ge, I personally think it did help his PCS a little. Learn English, Learn Korean, Learn Chinese (Beijing games coming up). Immerse yourself in the culture and politics and public speaking. Learn to be PR smart, study how/what NOT to say (PatrickChan press Pre-2014), then learn how/what to say (PatrickChan press Post-2015.) Ultimately, do not let it distract you from training and work on your consistency and your backloading. Focus on things that matter, but don't be careless about things you think don't matter.
In summary, everything matters. The devil is in the details and your best line of defence in this political sport.
16. Place at least in the top 10 at worlds before (Suggested by Nathan13, modified slightly by me.)
As Sochi established. if you were ever in the top 10 at any world championships, or not a even senior. You still have a shot. Be strategic managing your GP campaign. At home events, while you may enjoy generous calls (unless ISU assigns Amano) and inflated marks (if fed support you), but you may risk seen to as overmarked when your performance did not stack up on the day, and risks negatively affect your reputation (e.g Mao at NHK, Kaetlyn at Skate Canada). Although how that affect your overall reputation depends on how well you comeback at your next competition. In other words, try not to mess up twice in a row.
However, if you are able to conquer unfavourable competitions, you may win the respect of judges and the audiences. Mirai did well @ Cup of Russia for 2 straight seasons, in 2013-14, coming 3rd and 4th, the event no US skater want to get, but in doing so, it proves she is underrated and deserves a second shot (although whether fed are smart enough to see it is another matter).
Word of caution, keep your guard up, no competition are truly favourable outside home events, and the judging can often surprise you. Mirai along with other non-Japanese ladies received some of the lowest PCS at NHK from the Japan judge, so you can pretty much count judges are going to play for the home team. In other words, manage your expectations conservatively, wisely and just accept it as part of the sport.
17. No Consistency No PCS? Don't worry. Clean(ish) and high TES seems more important @ the Olympics
As previous Olympics demonstrated, contrary to standard belief, consistency doesn't count much @ the Olympics. Lack of reputation is just fine, just make sure you have the skate of your life ON the day. Remember, anything is possible by a generous judging panel, supportive crowd... and importantly if you bring both quantity and quality, it is hard to make the judges deny you. Skate CLEAN(ish) and ZESTY to get crowd on your side which goes to point 18.
18. Home advantage. Advantage Advantage Advantage +++ Go Go Go!!
Take every home advantage however you can. As proven previously, it CAN make a difference. Ensure you benefit from home advantages, judging, and crowd support (and their version of vuvuzela). Get your federation to make federation friends who can be favourable to your interests when you manage to prove yourself.
19. Influence the public and beyond
Study how information warfare works and protect yourself. Get your Ma and Pa to chip in, utilise your federations and industry links, paid networks, associates to be your press and influencer on public message boards. Quash and monitor apparent dissent with the one fit all message (name calling, labelling) even if it doesn't make much sense. It is impossible to prove anyway, other than timing, a number of posts made in short time from new registrations and other behavioural patterns.
20. Work hard but remember to stay positive and have a good time
To participate in the Olympics is a huge honour and a privilege no matter what the result. Represent yourself and your country well. Be modest. Winning is not everything in this political sport... as human judging by nature can be fickle. Approach your performances with a clear conscious, without regrets and hopefully, it should bring you a lifetime of happiness.
Very best of luck future Olympians!! May the rebellion wins and the force be with you.
Last edited:
you made my day! this is pure gold!:rofl2:
