Ilia Malinin and sensitivity training

[TallyT]

Neither the smackdowns he got for all his stupid comments nor the so-called 'sensitivity' training the USFS are doing will hurt him. Probably won't help either, but that's the Fed's problem. Plenty of kids his age or younger have known better or have had much worse smackdowns and learned better and fast. Coming on top of his jibe at Yuzuru (I mean, did he have to choose two of the three most currently popular skaters around to have a deliberate dig at?), candid camera isn't doing him any favours with the public or with his chances of making the good money from shows etc, but let's be pragmatic, no one has to be a good sportsman or good person to do well in competition (hellooooooo, Yagudin and plenty of others) or even a tactful one (hellooooooo, Patrick). We just got spoiled with the 2018 group of gentlemen.

 

[TallyT]

I think we can all agree that we have said things without malicious intent (that we shouldn't have) when were young. And still do even as adults.

But I would hope that - when it was aimed fair and square at people who have been nothing but kind to us - we were well and truly told where to get off.

 

[TontoK]

So very true. Yet what worries me is a tendency here to see him as a victim while in fact his remarks were a dig at very concrete skaters who have been very kind to him from their side and whose names are now dragged along all the SNMs along with his. They are the true innocent victims here and I give them the right to decide for themselves if they want to hold a grudge or not, and how they judge this whole incident and perceive his intentions. None of us can decide it for them and we should not even try. This is mainly between him and these other skaters. It is to them that he should most of all apologize, not to the federation or - with all due respect - fans. The latter is just PR and business, nothing more.
I just hope he did.

Victim?

Ilia isn't a victim, nor is anyone else.

He said something people don't like. He apologized for it, but it wasn't a crime. He's committed to the socially accepted, but utterly pointless, sensitivity training as a sign of repentance. People can forgive it and move on, or they can choose not to.

He can learn from this episode, or not. That's up to him. Most of all, I hope that he realizes that his skating can be refined (with improved components) without losing the traditionally masculine leading man vibe he brings. Emulating Patrick Chan or Kurt Browning would be more than fine. He should watch "Dust in the Wind" and "Casablanca" and "Aranjuez" on loop.

 

[mrrice]

First off, the question that was asked to him was inappropriate! It clearly threw him off , and he still gets nervous while doing interviews. He's young! People need to stop being so sensitive and grow some backbone!

I don't understand why they ask these skaters this question. Clearly, there are enough LGBTQ skaters who are open and ready to talk about this. Let them come to "You" This subject is highly personal, and IMO, inappropriate for ANY Skater to be approached about in an interview. I'd rather they invite skaters to have this conversation. That way, if they're comfortable, they'll have great things to say. When they asked Nathan that question, I almost felt like it was an ambush question. Ilia is still a young man. I wouldn't have answered this question at his age. Why not ask Johnny, Brian Boitano, or Tim Goebel. They all have experience in this area. Unless an "Active" skater brings up this issue, I think it should be off limits.

 

[TontoK]

I don't understand why they ask these skaters this question. Clearly, there are enough LGBTQ skaters who are open and ready to talk about this. Let them come to "You" This subject is highly personal, and IMO, inappropriate for ANY Skater to be approached about. I'd rather they invite skaters to have this conversation. That way, if they're comfortable, they'll have great things to say. When they asked Nathan that question, I almost felt like it was an ambush question. Ilia is still a young man. I wouldn't have answered this question at his age. Why not ask Johnny, Brian Boitano, or Tim Goebel. They all have experience in this area. Unless an "Active" skater brings up this issue, I think it should be off limits.

I don't think this was a real interview conducted by a reporter. My understanding is that he was clowning on Instagram Live with his buddies, taking questions from whoever called in (or commented). I don't really know how Instagram Live works, and also have no interest in learning about that.

 

[TallyT]

I don't understand why they ask these skaters this question. Clearly, there are enough LGBTQ skaters who are open and ready to talk about this. Let them come to "You" This subject is highly personal, and IMO, inappropriate for ANY Skater to be approached about. I'd rather they invite skaters to have this conversation. That way, if they're comfortable, they'll have great things to say. When they asked Nathan that question, I almost felt like it was an ambush question. Ilia is still a young man. I wouldn't have answered this question at his age. Why not ask Johnny, Brian Boitano, or Tim Goebel. They all have experience in this area. Unless an "Active" skater brings up this issue, I think it should be off limits.

As I understand it, the 'interviewers' were a couple of other young and thoughtless skaters, the questions were sent in by fans and - as pointed out above - Ilia chose that question from all the ones available.

 

[cheerknithanson]

Well okay now. I hope that's the last of it.

 

[mrrice]

Well okay now. I hope that's the last of it.

I agree. Look, if he knew the question was coming, he certainly could have said, "I'm not comfortable talking about that." Then, they could have moved on to the next question. This is such a personal issue.

 

[cheerknithanson]

I almost want this thread to shut down before things get out of hand.

 

[yesterday]

He said something people don't like. He apologized for it, but it wasn't a crime.

So that's where we (you) draw the line? I know that is something often used like "it's not that bad". But is it? Shouldn't we strive for more that just "not be criminal"?

It's not about that it won't happen or that we will all be really nice and totally innocent and it's flower power peace everywhere. But path and intention are important. Make mistakes. Acknowledge them. Learn. Try to think before you speak. Not when it's about the weather but be aware of certain topics and different takes on that topic, different backgrounds people might have.

This is the discussion behind it and I think that's what should be triggered by those mistakes (we all make). Not finger pointing but also no general defending.

 

[TontoK]

So that's where we (you) draw the line? I know that is something often used like "it's not that bad". But is it? Shouldn't we strive for more that just "not be criminal"?

It's not about that it won't happen or that we will all be really nice and totally innocent and it's flower power peace everywhere. But path and intention are important. Make mistakes. Acknowledge them. Learn. Try to think before you speak. Not when it's about the weather but be aware of certain topics and different takes on that topic, different backgrounds people might have.

This is the discussion behind it and I think that's what should be triggered by those mistakes (we all make). Not finger pointing but also no general defending.

I'm certainly not in favor unkindness, intentional or not, but having hurt feelings does not rate "victim" status.

I'm not unsympathetic. I've had my feelings hurt before, too. But I don't claim to be a victim because of it.

 

[TallyT]

I almost want this thread to shut down before things get out of hand.

See that's the problem, because it's uncomfortable when our budding heroes prove to have feet of clay, we want to brush it under the rug (and yes, I've been as guilty as anyone, in a very different field, and my budding heroine was pretty much the same age but it still hurt) and pretend everything and everyone are 'nice'.

But it happened. It happened in a social media arena where it will never go away.

 

[Minz]

I almost want this thread to shut down before things get out of hand.

I think that things are actually pretty reasonable. I also think it’s fair that people are allowed to discuss things. If you don’t want to do so, fine. But as long as it doesn’t go off the rails, people should be allowed to do so.

 

[mrrice]

I think that things are actually pretty reasonable. I also think it’s fair that people are allowed to discuss things. If you don’t want to do so, fine. But as long as it doesn’t go off the rails, people should be allowed to do so.

I agree. There's nothing wrong with the questions as long as the interviewer accepts "I'd rather not talk about that" as an answer and quickly moves on.

 

[Magill]

I almost want this thread to shut down before things get out of hand.

Well, Ilia's - or his team's - desperate attempts to sweep it under the rug, deleting comments, banning posters, turning comments off, posting his apologies as IG stories so that they would disappear after 24 hours, it all was completely counter effective and the story was just growing bigger and bigger, spreading to different channels and media, with people reposting everything he wanted to disappear and describing all his "sweeping" activities in more and more ways so in the end of the day it became kind of difficult not to notice the story. So the conclusion is the more you want to hide it, the harder it hits you in the face...
If he was the brave man some people here want to see him as, and took full responsibility straight away, without seeking excuses and silly tricks, It might not have become that hot.

 

[Minz]

I agree. There's nothing wrong with the questions as long as the interviewer accepts "I'd rather not talk about that" as an answer and quickly moves on.

I was taking about this thread, not Ilia’s interview.

 

[4everchan]

I think that things are actually pretty reasonable. I also think it’s fair that people are allowed to discuss things. If you don’t want to do so, fine. But as long as it doesn’t go off the rails, people should be allowed to do so.

On top of that, this thread is pretty gentle and supportive... I certainly have seen skaters thrown under the zamboni for way less.

 

[TontoK]

Well, Ilia's - or his team's - desperate attempts to sweep it under the rug, deleting comments, banning posters, turning comments off, posting his apologies as IG stories so that they would disappear after 24 hours, it all was completely counter effective and the story was just growing bigger and bigger, spreading to different channels and media, with people reposting everything he wanted to disappear and describing all his "sweeping" activities in more and more ways so in the end of the day it became kind of difficult not to notice the story. So the conclusion is the more you want to hide it, the harder it hits you in the face...
If he was the brave man some people here want to see him as, and took full responsibility straight away, without seeking excuses and silly tricks, It might not have become that hot.

Fair enough. I respect your opinion, even if I disagree.

So, the question now is what could he do? What's the fix?

What actionable steps could he take that would win you over? You seem to want more than what's been done - so what is it?

 

[cheerknithanson]

On top of that, this thread is pretty gentle and supportive... I certainly have seen skaters thrown under the zamboni for way less.

Fair enough. And I will say I don't agree what Ilia said on that IG live. I wasn't watching it myself (I don't really go on my phone a bunch on the weekends, I'm on my laptop more since I'm at home and not at work). I saw what he said in words. Was it stupid to say? Yes. I do not defend him saying that stuff. I don't believe in my opinion that it's unforgivable. He apologized. And I've seen comments on Twitter and Instagram for other stuff (Not related to skaters), they can be pretty vicious. Like really horrible comments that wish the worst and kick people further. So I don't exactly blame them for turning stuff off until things cool over a bit. They seem to be the worst for the worst kind of comments (That's not 4chan or Reddit). As long as Ilia grows from it and is more careful about what he says, it'll be fine. I was not socially mature at 18-19 myself. I didn't say things he said, but I certainly have said stuff or have done stuff that I look back and I want to curl into a ball and hide because I cringe so much at it. I'm glad I never had the social media presence he has now, or else it would have been yikes. I personally didn't find the need for Brennan to make an article about it.

 

[ElSoteroLoco]

It was an IG live. He didn't need to answer the question. And he repeated the answer twice.

And so what???!!! He is still learning how to do interviews! I have not a single problem with ANYTHING he said. And im GAY! I’m a man and was raised to be a man! Not cry over any little thing people say!