As you yourself has pointed out, there is a perceived gender normalcy in a society, any society. Dressing out of this gender normalcy, it will be seen as cross dressing. Don't ask why. That is the way things are. Hanyu's this year LP costume looks girly while Jason Brown's river dance costume looks not.
I also pointed out that these norms are not fixed--they change as the society changes. The society is changing and becoming more accepting of more ambiguous gender expressions. My point was that figure skating could be spearheading the inevitable change instead of holding on to norms that are in fact much more conservative (hence the 50's) than those of the current society at large.
Also, I don't think an "effeminate" costume on a man is problematic at all. I think Yuzuru's costume works for the program. More importantly, however, he likes the costume, and that's what really matters.