Punny Jokes

[Tonichelle]

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path


5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get from Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk..

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce the same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

 

[Ladskater]

Tonichelle:

Thanks!!! I was feeling a little down. I needed a bit of a chuckle!!!

 

[RealtorGal]

What happened to #4?

 

[Tonichelle]

I have no idea! LOL

 

[dlkksk8fan]

Funny

 

[Pookie]

Thanks, Toni. Those were funny.

 

[serenity]

Here a cute one

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had
a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's
mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up
and
he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and
the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up
his
hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to
the free! zer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully

intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"